I just spent 5 full days unable to go into sunlight. When I am truly fatigued and ill, I cannot bare light, just the shade of my room with curtains closed. I became so ill this time, I really wanted to die. Dying is not easy but I wanted it. I could not eat or drink much. I had to hold onto things along the route to my bathroom about 7 steps. I did not get mentally confused just deeply forlorn then deeply depressed. I managed to be driven about the island yesterday afternoon. Stopped here to make a rest spot on the picnic table. I am happier today even. But it will return, that gnarly fatigue. I slept almost entirely and certainly remained in bed all day then all night for 5 days and nights. They called off all treatments for me. There will be no transplant. This routine is now my new life. But I know I will cycle again. I just need a bit more rest. Aloha Catfishjumpin
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