Been a while.

[Cibble]

Hi all, it's been a good few months since I posted. To those who have PM me thank you for caring, please accept my apologies if I did not get back to you.

It's been an up & down few months. The new Chemotherapy regime is taking its toll, I just about recover in time for the next cycle which has made it a bit difficult to stay upbeat, but I am still trying to push the PMA. We had a quiet but lovely Christmas followed by a run of family birthdays.

Today is exactly 1 year since my dramatic collapse at work, which resulted in my respiratory arrest & all the subsequent investigations that culminated in my diagnosis. Stage 4 Cholangiocarcinoma. For palliative care only. Prognosis 6-12 months.

Well guys been there, done that! Now in no man's land. Apparantly the diagnosis is a rolling 6-12 months!!! I am not going to tempt fate. I do believe that the chemo has done well to hold the tumours & the mets in a stable pattern & I have had amazing support over the last year. The best thing, which may seem odd to you, was to be given such a poor prognosis. Because it just fired me up. I have too much stuff left to do. I have too much information & experiences to pass on to my children. I cannot be restricted to a time frame.

I have heard all the platitudes. Fighting the good fight! Kicking cancers butt! The journey! How brave I am!! . None actually apply. All I have done the last 12 months is LIVE!. I have got up every morning. I have faced the day, put one foot in front of the other & just lived life. The kids have been kids. Hubby has carried on as if nothing is happening. Dinner gets cooked & served. Plans are made & followed. Nothing much has changed in reality.

I realise when we are feeling low it is hard to see the positives in life. Every person on this site has a reason for being here, whether it be to give or receive advice or to connect with others in the same situation.

All I would ask is that you all remember to live, these diseases may restrict us but they do not define us.

I have done so much this year, but it should not of taken a terminal diagnosis to get me living.

Big cyber hugs to you all.

Take care of you & yours

X Cibble

[Hidden]

Delighted to hear from you and in such a positive state of mind. Congratulations on your year and here's hopes for more for you and yours - and for us too!

[dooley1]

So lovely to hear from you again and that your still going strong, youre such a positive person, it's contagious. Congratulations on beating that 1 yr prognosis, a new year ahead to enjoy.

Lots of love to you.

Helen

[Bolly]

Fabulous to hear from you - well a relief really, on forums like these when someone "disappears" you always wonder ......

Fabulous post, as always.

I'm with you in regard to "fights" and "battles". Just too exhausting. It's not about winning a war, it's about learning to live. Just as you describe.

Hugs (((0)))

X

[Hidden]

Thank you for your positive and inspirational message. Keep up your fight. Dave

[Brummi]

Hey!. Such a positive attitude it's good to hear that. What ever all our illnesses are no way does it stop us from our daily things, of course changes are made but we carry on. Don't change your way of thinking ..... Take care and keep us all informed.

[Hidden]

HI Cibble

Good hear from you! You are correct, all we have is time really, how much we get nobody knows. So I totally agree, everyone should live while they can! The fact is we are all going to die one day.

My aunty died just last year, bladder cancer that spread to her Liver, she only made 4 months after diagnosis. It just goes to show, it can and it does happen to anyone at any time. She was happily drinking wine and having a good time only months before her illness.

If I ever get such a diagnosis I too am not going to "fight it with everything youve got" my main concern would be quality of life and not the length of it.

[pear-shaped]

My dearest Cibble,

It is lovely to see you posting again.

I have been thinking about you and praying that all is going well.

The important thing is that you know what the treatment asks of you so in a way you are prepared. The normality is really a blessing... You have the right outlook Hun and have taught us all how to appreciate what we have...

Lots and lots of love,

Pear