Is it normal to feel this ANGRY? - British Liver Trust

British Liver Trust

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Is it normal to feel this ANGRY?


Hi everyone, I had been feeling unwell for a number of years but blamed everything on the menopause. Now diagnosed with pbc/aih and apart from the relief I feel at finally knowing what is wrong I am absolutely furious. I am 54, have 4 children and have always worked very hard, both in my career and for my family. I have dedicated my time to my family first and then work and always put myself last. The idea was that my time would come and I would enjoy an early retirement of travel and ticking the things off my bucket list. My youngest is about to start 2nd year at uni so in the next 2 years all the financial commitment to the children will be over. I don't know what the future now holds, travel is less certain and I feel as though the train has just left the station as I have arrived on the platform. Sorry for the rant, just wondered if other have felt this way?

7 Replies

I think many of us do feel like you especially when diagnosed around the time when we hope for an easier life. I had all sorts of ideas about when I retired Now I realise I probably never will fulfill those desires.

However if you missed the train on the mainline, there are many little branch lines to take in life, that can be very full filling.

Hi Godfrey1, I believe it's quite a normal thing to get angry, I certainly did when I was first diagnosed three years ago. I felt cheated that my life would have to change, that I wasn't able to keep going at the 100 m/ph speed I was used to and, in my case, angry that it had been missed for almost two years previous to diagnosis. The anger WILL pass at some point and you'll be able to work out the things you CAN do and discover coping strategies for things you find are slightly more difficult than they used to be.

Hope this helps!


I felt like this when my wife died. Got angry and blamed her for leaving me with two young children and no likelihood of retirement! We aren't very rational at times like these are we? Don't beat yourself up too much, feeling angry at having our plans disrupted by death, disease and divorce is natural and will pass. Try to be patient and explain to your family how you feel and ask for their forebearance and tolerance. Good luck for the future Phil

Hi Godfrey1, It's normal, the answer I found best was to stay stress free, in something was getting to me I just walkaway. I still get a little angry at minor things but fatigue and tiredness are also part of the problem. I relax for 5mins my boss at work allows me to take little breaks. I hope all goes well for you..

Thank you for your comments and support. Really do appreciate it. Still feeling angry but want to get on with sorting everything as best it can be and moving away from this awful feeling of despair. Thank you x

I have had PBC for nearly 30yrs, and yes you do get angry. It can be a scary time and you go through so many emotions. I was 30yrs old when I was diagnosed, I had 3 children and wondered how I would cope. It will get easier to accept. I received my transplant in January and now at 60yrs old I still am susceptible to PBC but I am living my life looking forward to spending time with my grandchildren. Just look through the rain, there's usually a rainbow

Thanks for the support Bestie, much appreciated. You are right of course and apart from having a constant list of appointments to attend everything has settled down. The AIH seems to be giving the most problem at the moment but I am hopeful for a good response to the drugs. I don't feel as angry now and accept there is still life after diagnosis. I'm glad to hear you are well and enjoying life post transplant. Thanks again for your kind words and I wish you a bug free winter :) xx

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