Has any Carers out there successfully placed a `loved one` in respite (away from home) ????

Husband 47 - HCV - Cirrhosis - Chronic Liver Failure - HE grade 2/3 - type 2 diabetic on insulin - listed for transplant but blood grp B and needs whole liver !!!!! I am the main carer (RN - not working) we have a 9 year old son - everything has reached its peak and I am desparate for a break (him going into hospital is not a break as they always muck everything up so I am more stressed when he is in hospital than out) - cant find anywhere suitable thats not for elderly people - We live in Dorset xxxx

[Bob3131]

Hi there sorry to hear of your plight unfortunately there is not a lot of help out there and when I was ill before my transplant I had to totally rely on my wife who works full time so I was left on my own all day the only other person who helped was my GP but the only thing they would do is send me to poole hospital for a detox and even then they would not do a great deal as I was under the care of kings college hospital in london I can only suggest that you speak to you GP and get them to visit your husband more often and try to make them aware how stressed you are and also to try and get your family to help I hope you are not affended by what I have said.

I had my transplant in 2010 and once I got through the operation I felt so much better and lead a normal life now I hope this gives you some help

Regards

Bob from Poole Dorset

Ps if you need any further help please do not hesitate to contact me

[gorffenaf]

In my area we have the same option as my social worker sadly explained. But I must admit that if that is the only option I will eventually use it. I have reached the point with our local hospital that I refuse to have my husband home until I'm ready but they have also been very supportive on the whole. As it happens , my husband is coming home after 5 days .It is not the same as respite as I am tied into the routine visiting and trying to put the house straight following each episode takes a while. Do you have any family who could stay with your husband even for a couple of nights? I do , but I haven't asked as It is a big ask.

[AyrshireK]

Hi Robswife, no personal experience on this but have you thought about the Hospice network? they are not just for end of life care but do provide respite for those who are chronically ill too. Your health is as important if not more so than Robs at present as once that transplant arrives there will still be lots of caring to do as he steps out on the road to recovery, you'll be no good as support to him if you yourself have gone downhill healthwise. You and your son need a break too knowing that Rob is being appropriately cared for in your absence. I know that my folks who care for a 19 year old with severe disablement are getting help with pain management from the local hospice team and also contacted the local children's hospice regarding respite. May be worth contacting to see if they do offer assistance in the likes of your case.

I wish you all the very best of luck and pray that Rob gets his transplant soon. I dread landing up in the same situation and am doing my utmost to keep my wee hubby as healthy as possible at the moment.

Love to you all, Katie xx

[Sheana]

I get respite via my local hospice. Some people think that hospices are where you go to die. They are not. They are best placed to look after people who are seriously ill. An old folks home can be dangerous as well as depressing as most staff there will have no medical training. Check out your local hospice and Palliative Care Service.