Abuser’s face stays with me

[Starlight_ftm]

Unfortunately there’s been a few men from childhood til the age 24 where I’ve had some nasty experiences but the last one sticks with me so much more and I realise every day he is popping into my head and I hate the fact he has that ability still. He was a police officer so not sure if that’s why because they are meant to be about safety or that he was the last one before I got help and now in a loving relationship.

My baby’s due date is 12th June and his birthday is 11th June so I wonder how il feel if she arrives on that day. I remember the date also because I loved the numbers 6 and 11 so ideally for those that don’t know my history probably think a good date for my baby whereas I don’t want the association.

I didn’t feel safe last night and also dreamt last night that when had the baby, she had his face. I guess I’m realising how much he still under my skin.

Thanks for reading

[Lucyh88]

You’ll be relieved to know only around 5% of babies are actually delivered on the due date. Most come before or after. I’d think of the due date more like a guideline. I’ve had around 4 scans measuring the baby in early pregnancy because of possible complications, and I’ve got 4 different due dates. And the date based on my last period is different too, so 5 different due dates. Just think of your baby in terms of season, like winter or autumn, not the date or numbers. You won’t know what date it arrives until it does.