Hello sorry it has taken me so long to come back to you all, a huge thank you for all of your best wishes. After my Husband passed away , it had to be referred to the coroner, I was told it was because he hadn't been in hospital over 24 hours, and also because asbestos was mentioned. Thankfully he didn't need a pm , his cause of death was heart problems contributed to by lung disease. I am very sad,and angry with these findings ,as you know a lung issue was noted when he was admitted in August , then only again in January this year. We had only seen a heart cardiologist in January , and then after he had asked us what our consultant respiratory thought,realised it had never been referred on ,despite my asking.
It is going to be a very hard week, I really do not think I am up to it, it really feels like I have lost everything , we always said "Forever and a day" , I know I was very lucky to have him, from the moment we met ,we loved each other , it was just so right.
Tomorrow he is finally coming home, and will be buried in a country churchyard where we have visited for over 30 years, it is the least I can do for him, I feel absolutely guilty about getting him to exercise in his last days. We used to walk up and down the living room hand in hand. I am saddened that I wasn't able to bring him home before this happened. So Tuesday is the day , no church service because of the corona virus, a graveside service is the best can be done. All donations are being made to the British Lung foundation , thank you so much for your support , take great care and keep safe xxxx
Please feel no guilt stvalentine as the gentle exercising you encouraged your hubby to do will have played no part in his final days as his condition was well established.
His final resting place sounds ideal and although it is such a sad to time you will be able in the future to visit him and continue to share that long held love..xx
I wish I could find words to help you through all this. The anquish you feel is so evident. It has been a particularly traumatic time for you over the past months. so try to sit back and reflect on the good times you had together. Yes, you will experience all kinds of emotions for a long time but nature is wonderful for healing. If you can, take a stroll found your garden or take a short walk and observe the beauty there and around you. Listen to calm, beautiful music. These are the things that helped me. Thinking of you my dear. Sent with a warm hug.
Sending you all my love and thinking of you at this sad time. Think of all of those wonderful memories you have, may he rest in peace. Stay safe😪 Bernadette xx
So sorry for your loss, don't feel any guilt for encouraging your husband to the gentle exercise walking up and down inside holding hands, I am sure that was very precious to your husband + exercise is encourage for cardiac and lung issues.
I think that we can all find a reason to feel guilty when someone we dearly love leaves this life. I am glad that a post mortem was deemed unecessary to save you the added distress that can cause.
I cannot even begin to imagine the range of emotions running so high within you right now. You obviously had found the love of your life and he was everything you wanted and cherished. I am so dreadfully sorry things turned out the way they did and your pleas for him to be referred were not carried out.
Please do not feel guilty about trying to get him to exercise. You had no way of knowing how quickly things would progress plus you were acting on the advice of professionals who always tell us to try to keep mobile. I remember many of us here suggesting gentle exercises, myself included. You remained supportive and loving holding his hand through the most trying time of his life. And for that you should feel no guilt, just pride that you did so under trying circumstances.
I will be thinking of you both on Tuesday. I wish you peace in the coming weeks. May you always remember the love more than the loss. 🌿
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday as will many of us on here I think so you won't be alone . Your husbands resting place sounds ideal . God bless X
Thanks for letting us know this. Don’t feel bad about encouraging your husband to exercise as that was good and certainly won’t have harmed him. You have been so brave. You had what sounds like a wonderful long relationship full of love and you have been a great support and carer for him. You have found a beautiful resting place for him that you can visit and remember all the happy times you shared. No one could have done more.
Take the best care of yourself at this difficult time and stay in touch
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