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Melissa87 profile image
17 Replies

Hi guys, as crazy as it sounds I still read through people's post, even though I have no need to any more. My dad died 19/12/16 and I wish I was logging on to ask some advice but that's not the case. I read some questions and my heart sinks because I can totally relate to what their asking. I hope everyone is as well as can be!

2 things I can only wish my dad would of listerned better is to stay as active physically and mentally fit. As crazy as it sounds the more you stay active the better you will feel.

The other thing is to make sure you take you medication as directed. The doctor has prescribed them for you and it's vital you take them.

Take care everyone

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Melissa87 profile image
Melissa87
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17 Replies
newlands profile image
newlands

So good to hear from you and thank you for your kind wishes

Take care

Dorothy

Sunflower13 profile image
Sunflower13

Hi Melissa, so sorry for your loss. Not crazy at all, sometimes doing these things help us to feel close to the person still. It's very kind of you to pass on your advice to others. Take care 🌻 X

Damon1864 profile image
Damon1864Volunteer

How lovely to hear from you, hope you are doing well. It's nice to know that people care. Take care 😊 xxx Bernadette

Pam1952 profile image
Pam1952

Hello Melissa. Lovely to hear from you, hope you're well. I should imagine that coming on here was an important part of your life, and as a carer you have a lot of valuable experience. That's great advice you've given.

Take care and stay well. Pam XXX

sassy59 profile image
sassy59

Hello Melissa l remember you posting about your dear dad and l'm so sorry for your loss. You do give sound advice and l wish you well. Take care xxxxx

2greys profile image
2greys

Hello Melissa, yep, guilty as charged, totally crazy and getting the benefits, welcome back.

mrsmummy profile image
mrsmummy

It is good to hear from you again and the advice you give is good advice. Take care.

Dragonmum profile image
Dragonmum

So good to hear from you again Melissa, and so sorry Dad lost his battle - it must have been very hard for you with Christmas so close but good to feel you did your very best for him. Take a bit of time to look after yourself now and keep in touch.

Azure_Sky profile image
Azure_Sky

I hope you will continue to post your experience is very valuable.

cosykitty profile image
cosykitty

I feel exactly the same as you Melissa87. I lost my Mum 9 weeks ago today to COPD and although it would be really easy to close the book on that chapter of my life, I believe it's a really important part of the grieving process (for me anyway) to stay active in this community. Not just to impart my knowledge and experience as the daughter of a patient, who was there every step of the way with Mum during her journey with this disease, but to ensure I offer a virtual hand of friendship to anyone who feels isolated or alone because of it.

Lung disease is a particularly complex condition, and I believe is one of the hardest things to endure. Not just for the patient themselves, but for loved ones who have to witness the daily struggle to breath. It is the single hardest thing I have ever had to encounter in my life. If I never see another inhaler of salbutamol, fostair, spiriva, spacer, mask, nebuliser machine, oxygen concentrator, nasal cannula it would be too soon. Not to mention meds like carbocisteine, theophylline, prednisolone, co-amoxiclav, clarithromycin, azithromycin, the list goes on and on.

I could happily never talk about lung disease again, but I feel it's my duty to now honour Mum's memory by offering others hope and encouragement, and the strength to own this illness. To insist on a good quality of care, and to positively enforce the need to always speak up and get the treatment you deserve.

I have taken great consolation from knowing others have shared in my struggle. As awful as it is, and I wouldn't wish this hideous disease on anyone, there is comfort in knowing others understand EXACTLY what you are going through.

Sorry for the long winded response, but I wanted you to know everything you said resonated with me. You were obviously a wonderfully supportive daughter to your father in his time of need, and I recognise fully the effort it takes to watch someone you love suffer. I wish you peace and happiness moving forward and hope your father rests in eternal paradise..xx

mrsmummy profile image
mrsmummy in reply to cosykitty

I am sorry to hear of your mother's death and am grateful, as I am sure many others will be, that you will continue to share what you learned through helping and caring for her.

Melissa87 profile image
Melissa87 in reply to cosykitty

Thank you for response! Please accept my deepest sympathy on the lose of your mother.

Likewise I can relate to your above comment.

Absolutely dreadful disease watching someone you love struggle to catch his breath even for the most simple things us (no lung disease) take for granted. The daily battle he had to have with himself as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning. I never could begin to understand how he felt deep down inside but unfortunately the 18 months from when he died and he started retaining co2 he gave up. He told me he didn't want to die but I knew he wasn't happy sat on the chair depending on others for everything. But like I said it's the worst thing you can do.

I miss my dad so much, everyday I live his last 24 hrs in my head over and over again, hearing him call my name only to realise he's not hear. Even the paramedics doing cpr and the sound of the defibrillator shocking his heart in that tiniest of hope he'll come back.

Don't get me wrong it was a tough 18 months caring for him trying to get him the right medication, recognising when he was ill. Listen to the depressed comments of a house bound man who 40 years ago was travelling the world. But ask me if I'd do it again and there'd be no hesitation in my response because in a heartbeat I'd do it 10x over if it meant he'd still be alive.

If you're suffering please don't feel you are on your own speak to somebody, confide in your family and don't be afraid.

If you're caring for a loved one please have empathy, take a few more seconds with them, laugh alike you did the first time they told you the story even tho you've heard it 1000 times.

Life really is short and it's what you make of it.

You have a disease it does not have you!

Xxx

Caspiana profile image
Caspiana in reply to cosykitty

I'm sorry about your mum cosykitty . xx

Ccupcakes profile image
Ccupcakes

Melissa87 and Cosykitty

What absolutely lovely posts from you both and what wonderful advice you have given, I empathise with you as carer for my Mum in law who died two years ago this summer, and as a 'Lunger' I thank you for your care and compassion to the rest of us.

Please accept my condolences for your loss, and turning the tables a bit, if we can ease your sadness here on this forum in any way then please do keep visiting.

Best Regards

Wendy

twopars12 profile image
twopars12

Melissa and Cosykitty you have said it all. When someone has been close to you its only right you miss them. Best wishes to you both.

fcag2001 profile image
fcag2001

Sorry to hear about your Dad . I believe he is at peace now and no more struggles but when you loose someone you love it is tough . Just try to keep remembering the good times you had with him. Take care

Caspiana profile image
Caspiana

Hello Melissa87 . It's lovely to hear from you. Sorry about your dad. I really appreciate your advice. Sometimes when I feel really out of sorts my urge is not to move at all. Period. So thank you. I hope you continue to read posts and give advice where you see fit.

Take care of yourself.

Cas xx 🌹

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