Feeling down this time

Hi all I am fairly new to this. I am 47 years old. Had asthma for 20 years. But the last few years I am finding it difficult to cope with the breathlessness. I am getting more bouts of being out of breath and it takes ages to sort it out. I can be fine one moment and with little warning get bad and have to sit down and I am having so much time off from work I am worried my job will be the next thing to go. I am a divorced mother but get no help from ex husband. I feel that if I can just learn to breath like everyone else then I will be ok. But as you all know it's not that simple. I am sorry for feeling like this because when I read what some of you are coping with I think I am very lucky. I have a lot of admiration for everyone on here. You are all so brave. I usually don't wallow in self pity but just had such a bad 2 weeks of being unable to do things for myself and children I think it's guilt I am really feeling. I feel better for being able to write this down as I could never tell my family how I feel because I see how worried they are. Best of luck and health to you all xx 

51 Replies

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  • Bless you, it's awful when you're breathless isn't it. Have you told the doctor how you feel? There are some breathing techniques you can use to help, I think the guys said they are on you tube, they might be worth a look and I bet they'd help you too. You say you feel guilty, why? you can't help having breathing problems. The good thing about asthma is that it can get better, my friend at work had it really bad and now doesn't even need her inhaler so it could just get better for you too.

    You have a lot of worries on your mind at the moment and that won't help either so cut yourself some slack sweetie.

    Is there anything that would help you to be able to go to work? you can self refer to axs to work ad they will help you get any additional equipment you need or maybe get your employer to refer you to OHS and put some adjustments in place.

    Anyway, welcome to the site the guys are brilliant at answering questions and we all have bad days and have a moan on here so moan away. xxx

  • Hi diesel, thank you I will see if I can get some more help from work. Your very kind giving me advice I do feel alone sometimes as no one seems to know what to do with me. Thanks again and I hope all well with you.

  • Hi Fallon It is good that you can put it in writing and please don't feel guilty.  It is really tough when you can't breathe and have a lot to do.  It will be difficult for you to take it easy and ask for help maybe. If you could make appointment with the doctor and explain how you feel he may change your medication to help you manage better. Hope you get this sorted and feel better.  Keep in touch and let us know how you progress.  Love Moi x

  • Hi moi, I am actually feeling better just reading replies. It's so nice when people understand what it feel's like not to be able to breath and how helpless it can make you. I am going back to doctor this week and hopefully he will help. I hope all well with you. Thank you.

  • Great let us know how you get on.  I am sure if you tell the doctor exactly how you feel he will be able to help you.  Hope you feel better. Keep in touch Moi X X x

  • Thanks moi I will let you all know xx

  • Welcome fallon12, to our forum. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. 

    I don't have asthma myself but many of the others do. I'm sure someone will be able to advise you. 

    Have you been to see your GP & explained how you're feeling about your increasing breathlessness? 

    Are you on meds at the moment & maybe need a review?

     Stress & anxiety can make breathing worsen so maybe a chat to someone in your surgery, eg the practice nurse, would help you. 

    I hope you get advice soon & let us know how you get on . 💐

  • Hi jessy, I think I have been worrying to much about things I can't change and it doesn't help. Thank you for your advice I really appreciate . I hope all going well for you.

  • Hi Fallon, I'm sorry you're feeling down. Being breathless is scary and can take alot out of you. Perhaps the medicine/inhaler you are using isn't working anymore or the diagnosis is incomplete. I think it is best to see your doctor and let them know how you are feeling. Take care. Hope you get into the doc soon.

  • Hi tbeth, I am very grateful for all the advice and support I have received from everyone. I am going to make a list of questions for doctor and see if he can help get me back on track. I am on a lot of medication and have had a lot of hospital admissions over few years and I have trusted doctors to know what works but I think I have to take more responsibility for what is and isn't working. Thank you and best of luck for yourself.

  • Morning Fallon.  A consultant once said to me that being breathless was one of the worst sensations to cope with, (but a lot of them don't seem to understand).  So please don't feel guilty about how you feel. All of us here know how hard it is.  We are here for you to moan at. There is help for you and it sounds as if you are not quieten the right medications.

    See your doctor soon and discuss it.

    All the best

    K xxx

  • Hi katinka, Thank you for answering. I think your right they keep saying it must feel horrible but they don't realise how much life stops when I get bad. Not just for me but family and friends to. I am back at doctor this week and will try aand get somethink changed. I hope all going well for you.

  • I do sympathise Fallon, I was diagnosed with asthma with asthma twenty years ago and I have three adult asthmatic daughters , so I know the effect it can have on daily life.

    I agree with the others , you need your medication reviewed...I find some inhalers di not suit me at all, and some make me worse. Have you had any allergy tests at all...either blood or skin prick? House dust , air fresheners affect me, but my daughters are allergic to many animals, grass pollen, among other things.

    I also tend to hyperventilate especially when I am stressed, so I always try to calmly and gently belly breathe, with relaxed shoulders and upper chest..and always through the nose. Much, much easier to write down than carry out in practice though. ...I try and slow and steady my breathing when I remember.

    Sorry for the typos, but it's early in the morning . Take care.

  • Hi knitter, Thank you for your advice its very kind of you. My 3 boys had childhood asthma but seem to of grown out of it thankfully. I  keep getting meds from hospital and different ones from doctor so I am back and forth a lot trying to see what I should really be on. I am going back to doctor this week. I am allergic to cleaners air freshners, animal fur when around it for a few hours, trees and grass. Like yourself and family always trying to avoid things. I am going to try the breathing exercise and it might just keep me calm and help. Thank you and take care .

  • Hi Fallon12, what medication/inhalers do you take? It maybe that they need tweaking a bit? I've recently been in hospital for 9 days with my asthma & pneumonia-Im 37, but they changed my meds quite a lot!! Hope the doctor helps!

    Dee x

  • Hi Dee, I hope your ok now. I have had a lot of tweaking of my meds and seemed to work for a while but then the weather changes and I get bad again. My doctor thinks I am allergic to all the pollution in London but I cant move it's not that easy. I am on seretide 250 salbutamol 100 tiotropium 18mcg,prednisalone 1 5mg tablet a day, phollycontin 2 225mg tabs a day. I have a nubuliser at home to keep me out of hospital. I am going to ask my doctor to try  something  else. I am at hospital next month again. Thank you for your kind words. Take care x

  • Hi, Fallon.  Others have made some great suggestions here.  I hope they help you to get back more control over your breathing.  All the best. M.

  • Hi Ergendl, I am amazed at how many people really care. I am very grateful to everyone and I have some great advice to. I hope all is well with you.

  • You are absolutely brilliant, coping with uncontrolled Asthma, looking after your children on your own, running your home, and going to work!  Give yourself a great big hug. So, as other have said:

    1.  See the doctor to review your medication to get your Asthma under control.  Let him\ her know everything that is making your life difficult, including work worries.

    2.  As @diesel12 suggested, talk to Access to Work to see if there is anything that can be done to he!p you stay in work.

    3.  Your work Occupational Health Service may be able to help, and if you continue to have a lot of time off work, you will need to have an Occupational Health Assessment.

    You have many friends here who understand what you are going through.  Sending warming thoughts and hugs.

    Anne

  • Hi wheezyanne, Thank you that's really kind of you to say and I have had so many great responses it has lifted my spirits n end. I am going back to doctor this week and I am going to write questions down so I don't forget. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me it means so much. I hope all is well with you.

  • Hi Fallon sorry to hear your struggling at the moment. I do simpathise with you I was diagnosed with both asthma and emphysema in the early forties like you I was a single parent to 4 children. Breathlessness is the absolutely worst feeling. Do you have a respiratory nurse at your surgery? If so I would book an appointment and go at have a good chat. She will check your breathing and meds and if she feels they need changing she will sort out the doctor. You should be having asthma checks at the surgery at least every 12 months so please do get some help. Ask away if you have any questions  there will be someone here to help. Take care Barbs x

  • Hi barbs, I am under 2 hospitals and they have been throwing new meds at me I think I am a guinea pig. But I am going to my doctor this week and I just want someone to listen to how all theses meds make me feel and they are not working very well. I am so grateful to everyone on here because I thought I was going mad at one point. Doctors keep saying it will get better but nothing changes. I hope all is well with you.

  • Hello Fallon and  welcome to this very friendly,helpful group.Is a great way of venting your despair which

     we all feel at times knowing you have very sympathetic ears who understand only too well your feelings.The only thing to watch is to be careful of the  big difference between being down in the doll drums and actually suffering depression.....best to have a chat with your GP and be really open.

  • Hi piping, Thank you I know I am heading for depression if I don't sort out my meds. I just feel that people look at me like I am contagious when they see me struggling. My family are fantastic and my friends try and help to. Just I have always been very independent and find it difficult to have to depend on others. Thank you for your advice and sympathy. I hope all is well with you.

  • well fallon my EV is26% and am 58yo.Took me a while to just get on with my "new" life.Learn to accept the love those around you want to show you...nothing makes them happier than you  asking for a cup of tea.Makes them feel helpful...able to show you how much they do care.It is hard to learn to ask for help isn't it?Makes most nearest and dearest feel wanted and needed

  • Yes piping I know your right and in time I will learn to spread the load. I will get used to my new life and I feel I am lucky to have found this forum with wonderfully helpful and brave people to advise me and understand me. I wish you good health xx

  • you can speak your heart on here....we all been through most things.Welcome.

  • Yes it helps to be able to say what I really feel and it makes me realise how lucky I am to. x

  • what inhalers are you on?

  • Hi steph , I am on seretide 500, Spiriva, salbutamol. I take 1 5mg prednisolone a day. 2 phyllocontin 225mg a day. And an allergy tablet when needed. I have a nebuliser at home and last week used a good bit. Not sure whats changing but I hope it gets better soon. Thanks for asking. I hope your ok.

  • interesting because I was on seratide and its been change to sirdupla a few months ago, when I queried this as I was quite happy on Seratide I was informed that it was due to seratide know to have caused pneumonia , to say I was surprised was an understatement, but maybe go and see your asthma nurse.

  • Oh thanks steph I will mention this on my next visit. How do you get on with sirdupla.? hope its ok. I just got blood test results and I have hit menopause. My asthma started with my 1st pregnancy so this could be why I am getting worse. I was hoping it would improve my symptoms. x

  • Hi Fallon I have asthma and copd.  I have had the asthma for around 30 years and I went downhill with it as well.  It wasn't until I was diagnosed with copd as well and given symbicort (a preventer) that my asthma greatly improved.  My asthma lung function went from 62% to mid 70's.   The nurse said it had probably been poorly controlled asthma and even questioned whether I had copd or not.   I do now. 

    I agree with the others,  you need to go back to your doctors and ask for a review of your meds.   Oh by the way you don't smoke do you?  Or around anyone who does?  x

  • Hi coughalot, I  don't smoke but used to years ago. I am under Royal Brompton and UCH serious asthma clinics. They keep adding and taking away and I feel a bit like a guinea pig. But they are trying. I have another appointment with my doctor this week so will ask if I can try another inhaler or something. Thank you for answering. I hope things are well with you.

  • Hi I am glad you are under a consultant.   I am lucky with my asthma as it is usually well controlled and I have little problem with it.  It can be difficult sometimes to distinguish between asthma and copd.

    I presume you have been tested for copd?   Even though you stopped smoking years ago you can still get it you know.

    Things haven't been too good with me but getting better thanks.  Take care.  x

  • I hope things get much better for you soon x I have had a lot of tests done but only my doctor things I have copd not the hospital. I am still trying to get more information from consultant. They seem to think that if they give me more new meds I will go away happy. I keep trying. Thank you again for helping me feel better and please look after yourself. Take care x

  • I will tell you this much, stress CAN and DOES tighten up your chest and mess with breathing, bigtime.You need a doctor visit, a calming pill, Heck I have stage 2 emphazema and I take a tiny bit sometimes.Alprazolam.

  • Hi Penelope thanks for answer. I know your right I do need to relax a bit more. Its hard to sometimes. Thanks for your advice I am going back to doctor this week. You take care x

  • Have you seen your doctor to ask for tests to be carried out? I struggled for a long time blaming asthma, smoking etc etc. Then finally after many chest infections i told my doctor, i had tests done and was found to have COPD. At least now i know what the problem is and am grtting a lot of help for my problems. I hope you are clear of everything but it is better to know what is wrong. I hope you are feeeling better and it was just a bad phase. 

  • Sorry i just read all the previous answers people gave you, they give such good advice on here and arevery understanding as most are suffering themselves, so they know how it feels when you struggle for breath. The most important thing is to try to slow down, don't be so hard on yourself. If you are not able to work your company should be more understanding and not add to your stress.  I hope your visit to the doctor helps you to get better. The meds i have been given really help, the other thing people on here have said really helped them is "pulmonary rehab" i am due on a course in June. They teach you how to breath properly and give you exercises to strengthen the muscles. It may be worth asking your doctor about it, he will know if you are suitable. Good luck and keep well.

  • Hi Sheila, Every one on here has been so helpful and the advice given is really appreciated and I have already been practicing breathing exercises which I find relaxing and that surprised me. I am grateful for your kindness and I hope all goes well on your course. Good luck x

  • Thank you for the lovely response to my post. You sound a lot more cheerful now, sometimes it just helps to know you are not alone in this. Keep strong and keep fighting, you sound like a winner to me, not someone who will just accept things. Wishing you a better tomorrow. 

  • Yes I am more positive and its because of all the wonderful people who have offered advice and support. I was feeling sorry for myself and that's not like me . I have wonderful children and a fantastic family and great friends and now for my moaning I have this forum haha x Thanks Shelia and good health to you x

  • @ Fallon 12 

    Hi, I know what you mean about feeling like a guinea pig, but there are things you can do to help yourself which doctors sometimes don't seem to acknowledge the importance of. Paramount is nutrition, which involves eating foods which help to replace oxygen. Fresh green organic vegetables- a little goes a long way. Watercress is excellent to add to a leafy salad. Foods high in vitamin C eaten daily will help enormously. I have cut down on dairy products except for probiotic yogurt to add to salad dressings or eat on its own & enough milk for 2-3 cups of tea. I use coconut milk for porridge or cereal, good local honey helps keep infections at bay. Starting the day with squeezed lemon in water sweetened with a little honey(large glass), not only gives vitamin C first thing, but alkalizes our body too. Also there is a recipe for a healthy turmeric (a natural healer for the lungs) ginger & lemon drink which can be made up for the week which I can give if anyone is interested. Of course the breathing exercises mentioned earlier, are one of the most useful things we can do for ourselves. Knowing there are ways that we can take responsiility & to help ourselves stops us feeling powerless. Medicine needn't be just about drugs. Also not buying any sprays or harsh chemicals in the home. I only use a limited amount of Eco friendly products which are less toxic to us & our environment & find that washing liquid, washing up liquid, multi action spray & toilet cleaner cover most cleaning issues along with lemons & bicarbonate of soda. My best wishes to you & hope you improve soon

  • Hi Clarac, Thanks for that advice its very kind of you and if you get time I would like the recipe for the turmeric drink when you get a chance. I went back to the doctor today and she thinks that now I have started menopause my asthma has become unstable. I have never known anyone else get worse with it but at least I know why I am getting worse. I have asked doctors to take me off all medication and see how I go but they freaked out and told me no way. I have had some very bad attacks being in Icu and being ventilated so I can understand there reluctance. Thank you for taking the time to help and I will change some aspects of my diet and see how it goes. I hope your well.

  • I would love to have your recipe for the tumeric, lemon and ginger drink if you have time to post it. 

    Regards, sheila

  • @ Fallon 12+ Sheila 1 Kerry. Evening ladies, This is the recipe that I use but there are many. I make up a large jug full at a time as it's easier than doing it every day & I try to use organic products wherever possible. It's probably cheaper to buy the turmeric & ginger in larger amounts & can be frozen until you need it, as I use fresh root turmeric which can be bought online, but there are alternative ways to make it with powdered turmeric also available. The pepper is a necessity to help your body to absorb the turmeric & should be ground fresh each time you make the potion. The coconut oil also helps with absorption.

    Ingredients:

    1 1/2 - 2 litres of boiled water

    4-5 small to medium sized pieces of turmeric root

    1/3 the amount of ginger root to turmeric

    Approximately 2-3 tsps freshly ground black pepper

    Freshly squeezed lemon

    Coconut oil

    Wild flower Honey 

    Method:  Wash & chop turmeric & ginger into small pieces. (Turmeric is sometimes used for its yellow dye, so you may want to use a non precious chopping board, it will wash off your hands after a few rinses)

    Place in a saucepan with the pepper & boiled water & put the lid on & bring back to the boil. Turn down & simmer for approx 20 minutes. Turn off the heat & stand for 20 mins. It is now ready to use when cool enough.

    Pour a glassful & stir to dissolve 1tsp coconut oil & honey to taste, then add 1/2 freshly squeezed lemon. Enjoy

    I usually keep stirring it in between mouthfuls & drink a glass of water afterwards to wash down any bits of black pepper. Store the remainder in the fridge & have a glassful daily on an empty stomach. Pour a glassful each day & add the coconut oil & microwave for up to a minute, stir in the honey & add the 1/2 freshly squeezed lemon.   (stir it up before you pour out a glassful to make sure you get the pepper) . More boiled water can also be added to each glassful to make a longer drink. 

    It will take a while before you notice improvements, I have been taking this for several months & it has definitely helped with my copd & asthma. Turmeric is not recommended for people who take warfarin as it has a mild affect on thinning the blood, which is why it is so good for arteries. All of the ingredients claim a multitude of possible health benefits, which can be found online, but a good healthy diet & breathing techniques are also recommended. These ingredients can be added to soups, roast vegetables, etc etc. Explore & have fun finding new recipes. All the best 

     Take your time with the making & send the love to yourselves because you deserve it😊

  • Hi Clara you have been busy putting this up. I will source my ingredients and start making. Thanks for taking time out of your day to help us here x

  • You're very welcome. I will just add that the importance of organic turmeric is that it has the active ingredient curcumin which is important. The organic pepper has the active ingredient piperine. These act together to help with best absorption. I have many other tips which I will share later if you wish, but plenty of water to keep yourself hydrated is vital to good health.

  • Brill, I have told my mum who has asthma and copd so I will be making it for both of us. I think tips like these make such a difference and I  feel like I am helping myself to. Have a great day Clara, the sun is shining here and I hope it is where you are to x

  • Hi everyone, I just want to thank you all for your wonderful support and advice. Just knowing I'm not alone makes a big difference so thank you all. I have been back to doctor and another tablet added to my meds. It seems to be working because I'm going back to work tomorrow and I am delighted to be feeling better. Doctor thinks that because I'm going through menopause its having a negative affect on my asthma. Has anyone else found this. No one I know has found a difference. I hope your all well xx

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