Rough Year so far

It seems that everything the life could throw at me has happened at the beginning of the year,ceiling fell down in daughters room, developed a 12wk lung problem (ongoing) also lost my job, Oh and my dad was diagnosed with cancer. ( Not listed in any type of order) also need to move out of council house in to private accommodation over 200 miles away to be near stepdaughter. But it's the constant lack of control of my health too.

Money situation is tight, there's a lot of factors right now that are so depressing. I know it's Selfish to feel like this, but it's also nice to vent to the community.

11 Replies

  • Hi Nodemus,

    So sorry to hear about your problems. Bad enough with a lung problem. (I have severe COPD) so you don't need all that other negative stuff going on in your life. I am fortunate as I am retired and have a home.

    Hope your father will be ok? At least you have your family around. Here's hoping things will improve.

    Look after yourself.


  • Sorry to hear of your troubles. Keep you chin up things will get better. I have had a rotten start to the year with a bad chest infection. Still fighting this. I hope your health improves as it is a lot to deal with. Try and keep calm and good luck with moving. I know things are not good for you at the moment but it will get better. Take care.

  • Couldn't read that post without sends you lots of love and wishing you a speedy recovery and your Dad a positive outcome. Your own health will be so affected by all the stress. Try to find a few minutes for yourself each day xxxx

  • Hi Nodemus, I was so sorry to hear about how difficult 2016 has been so far for you, sometimes for those of us dealing with chronic health on top of all the other everyday stuff it feels like a set of dominos falling down. But having myself experienced sudden onset chronic ill health, a personal trauma, moving 3 times in a year, father in law dying I realised some of us are thrown all these curved balls for a reason; because we are made of the stuff that gives us the ability to keep going! You have an amazing core strength, it is only a temporary cloud that has obscured your horizons and it will pass for you to see the way ahead.

    I learnt to just deal with the day ahead of me, no further, celebrate what I could get done or achieve and I never now sweat the small stuff! Accept help from friends and family whenever you can, be kind to yourself even if it is listening to a piece of your favourite music, taking a long soak in the bath, give yourself permission to feel sad/angry/frustrated sometimes, it's human and even though I am new to this site I have found great people here who allow you to vent!

    Part of ill health is acceptance of the unknown (which we as humans hate!) but if you move towards understanding that we can't always know when we will be well again it is moving you to a different place than feeling 'stuck'. Tomorrow is a blank page that you can fill with something positive for you that the curved balls can't touch!

    We are all here for you x Megan

  • Hello Nodemus, this is a rough patch you are going through, but feel free to vent your concerns if it helps you to cope, most of us know the feeling nothing ever happens in ones. Don't worry about the loss of work right now, concentrate on getting better and rearranging your life. Your dad's cancer diagnosis must be worrying you too . Remember you can't change the diagnosis you can only support him through the treatment, worrying won't change the outcome. Hopefully he will recover with treatment. Think most people have money concerns in this current economic climate and yours are in crisis due to losing your job of course. You could ask for a financial assessment in respect of your rights to benefits ect. You may even be entitled to help to repair that ceiling local council may be able to help in them circumstances always worth asking. Sorry am I rabbiting on when you probably don't feel like dealing with any of it really do you ? Relax and try to prioritize what to do first, one day at a time xx

  • hi katieoxo60 the council are helping now social housing to fix ceiling. To add insult to injury I have a god awful toothache now which I cant really deal with as i have a fear of the dentist. Things can only get better I suppose.

  • a temporary tip for the tooth nodemus is a whiskey mouthwash but don't swallow, just hold over the tooth it deadens the pain. But if you have an abscess it will need antibiotics and only a dentist can give you them. Try the whiskey till you pluck up courage to see a dentist. Your right things can only get better, in the meantime your the one who has to deal with it all, so take care there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes it seems a long tunnel xx

  • I kinda know how you feel I've had a pretty rotten start to 2016 as well but the one thing in life we are guaranteed is nothing stays the same so things are bound to improve just hang in there even if it's with your finger nails cause that's what I'm doing right now

  • It never rains just pores hope you get things sorted take care

  • I only signed on last week at the Job centre because my ESA was stopped due to the fact that I attended a interview and did not attend a medical assessment. I was signed off work due to depression and anxiety. I carried on applying for Jobs looking for for work as theESA is contributory based for a year, I didn't want to sit at home getting worse and our finances took almighty battering. low and behold the lung problem started which meant in the meantime the job search was affected, having to declare my health status at the interviews wasnt pleasent . Because the breathing difficulties are so random I'm usually up half the night and catching up on sleep during the day. But still I carry on looking for employment. On Saturday I get a letter from the job centre plus saying I have satisfied the criteria for two weeks backdated claim and also the specifications needed to claim Jsa Then only to finish the letter and read that I'm not entitled to any JSA support as I haven't paid enough contributions, but enough contributions were paid to satisfy the ESA claim? I have wrote to the ESA to explain why appointment was missed this is stressing me out and making me more sick with worry, I can't seem to get anything right at this time, I'm sick enough to be signed off work by the doctor,but according to JSA well enough to look for work, but yet i'm not entitled to claim the appropriate benefit. perspective employers are not going to want to hire a sick person. STRESS

  • trust me i,ve been exactly were you are now and thought inever get through it my disability stopped,tax credits,etc had sell my phone jewellery and stuff,

    and lost 3 people to cancer in5 yrs and to top it all copd life deals us a bad hand,fristlygoon site for your local community hospital search denistry its really had to find but they have a specalist clinic 4 people with health problems and phobai your g,p will need to refer you be admant and hopefully you will get help it took me 4 vists and 2 referals but got there in the end now having months of treaments after 10 long years of painfull teeth as for your benefits ,well there are law unto them selves just keep on

    fighting them you need emplyment under th the disability element.

    don,t now what type of cancer or how long your dad got but get in touch

    marie curie or other cancer charities they can help,

    you,re not alone you,ve got us now just a click away i wish i knew of this site but im new to last june the 9th all the same problems and worse but here iam facing the aftermath of it allas it seems so relentless but you will cope and it will get better sometimes its just there and we deal withmany times isay ant do this any more what else why me ?hey have a bloody good rant rave and a good cry you,re intitiled to then get up and start all over again ,

    take care message aginx.

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