life turning a full circle

funny how (well has to be funny or you would sit and cry)your life turns a full circle in a few years . when my boys were little they wanted to mow the lawns but couldn't start the mower so it was dad cant you start the mower now they are 17 &20 well eldest has moved out got kids of his own but if the mower wont start on second pull its me who has to call the youngest to start it for me as im on my knees down by the mower gasping for air .such a frustrating, depressing ,disease this emphysema is ,oh why did I take that first puff on the fag .

23 Replies

  • I know that feeling well, but if you are like me you want to do it your self. Its time to let him do it all while you sit and watch instead. That is something i find hard to do. I have to ask the sons to help dishing the Sunday dinner up, where as at one time i would do it and still get hot dinner myself. I have had all my grass areas slabbed over or block paved and my growing is in tubs or plant pots.

    Sending you hugs and hope i've helped.


  • thank you for your reply Chris oh yes I was always on the go finding it hard to slow down don't think it helps me only being 40 I use to work on farms looking after livestock so was always physical work and long hours . don't know if you are like me but I have certain ways of doing things and there is a right and wrong way of doing stuff and I tend to get a bit snappy when they help and do the wrong way and I know they are only trying to help .I live in a council house with big garden do have a stair lift and level access shower but wife and I are thinking on going on list to get a bungalow move to something smaller with more manageable garden while I can still do things .

  • Me to I have to ask my daughters to change the beds for me and when we go out the youngest one insists on holding under my elbow to guide me across the road now that makes me feel ancient.

    take care

    polly xx

  • I'm the same! Daughters change the beds, hoover & polish, clean the bathroom! I do as much as I can as I can see things not being done like I used to do! I've learned to accept help gracefully & realise life is too short to worry about housework! Take care 💖

  • lol I bet it do polly and they are only trying to help but hard not to snap sometimes

  • Looking great though pollyjj. xxx

  • Oh polly I have the same. My son says "take my arm". His latest is "where is your walking stick." The Hospital gave me one because Physio thought my balance wasn't too good. I'm trying to improve my balance with exercises hoping not to use the walking stick. Role reveversal?

    Love Suzyxxx

  • Why not teach her to hold her forearm out in front of her at hip height so that you may accept the aid when / or if you feel unsteady. It is far more use to steady yourself with and holding your elbow will not stop you from falling. Regards, Rib

  • Oh Mmzetor, I so identify with what you say, but we can only look forward (not back, we are not going that way!) and embrace the things we can do, easier said than done sometimes! You take care xx

  • Pete would so agree with you as he still says "the minds willing but the body isn't." He cannot do very much at all now and struggles to walk a few yards. He will still say though that the breathing he can take care of but his that's another story.

    Take care xxx

  • it took me along time to admit i couldn`t do what i used to do: even now the better half has to stop me at times

  • It is horrible not to be able to do the things you once thought little of...but you have a pretty garden and your wife and sons who love you and care about you...don't let it get you's awful hard to get back up from me xxx

  • thank you vashti

  • Your right we would cry if we couldn't see the funny side of things. I always think it's my sense of humour that gets me through, and being able to laugh at ones self :-) I used to do everything fast, walk, talk, work etc was always getting told to slow down now I keep getting told to hurry up!!!! But having regrets doesn't make things better, I think too if only I hadn't smoked but what's done is done so let's keep smiling :-)

    jan x

  • I got told off today by one of my daughters for being too independent. They brought a Sunday lunch, a home made chicken and ham pie and a big container of home made soup.. Eldest granddaughter folded and put away the washing while daughter did some vacuuming . they know I haven't been well, latest antibiotics stop me from sleeping more than3 hours, as well as other side effects . it amazes me how we can feel almost normal one day and wretched and exhausted the next. Don't think we can blame cigarettes for everything when brought up with coal fired and pea soup fogs.

  • Too true Joyce. I have COPD and Bronchectasis. I have never smoked. Yet I still have COPD and need oxygen to breathe. The Bronchectasis was caused by contracting Whooping Cough when I was a child. Neither showed up until I was sent for a chest X-ray following a bout of bronchitis.

  • I think some on mine was from working on farms with all the dust and chemicals but once doctors know you use to smoke its no it nothing to do with work its all because you smoked . told one when we bagged up the animal feed you would be coughing up black dust for hours after he said you may of done but that wouldn't hurt thought then does he really think we are that thick lol.

  • How true. I worked with a process for 15 years that gave off carbon fibres, only one Doctor agreed that it could have contributed.


  • My specialist went to lengths to assure me my condition was not related to my past smoking. Still another doctor with a great deal of education carried on interminably insinuating I had brought everything on myself by smoking. I just kept thinking about what my specialist had said while he was going on at me. Remember: The way people treat you is a statement about who they are as a human being. It is not a statement about you.

  • It's very difficult to have to accept help for all the things we always did before. But at least we are lucky to have family who care and help us even if it does make us feel useless! Xx

  • It depends upon people's individual attitude. I have to have care 24 hrs per day. I cant even go to the toilet but it doesn't make me feel useless.

  • For all of you who have family who want to help, please be very grateful. My husband has multiple health issues and can't do much at all - and I would love to have family to help me!! I actually cope quite well, so please don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself, it would just be lovely to have someone to help sometimes. Jan xx

  • I agree with you Jan. My family don't even bother to ring or write. Too scared of catching a broken bone or something. We are extremely lucky to have a great care budget.

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