British Lung Foundation
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.............................................Advent 21

'twas the internet night before Christmas, when all through the Net.

There were hackers a surfing. Nerds. Yeah, you bet.

The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The newbies were nestled all snug by there screens

While visions of Java danced in their dreams.

My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,

We just settled down at my rig(it's a Mac)

When out in the Web there arose such a clatter.

I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.

To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,

Then made a single gurgle .It started to crash !!

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,

Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.

When the image resolved ,so bright and so quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St Nick!

More rapid than maintenance, more graphics they came,

Then Nick glanced towards my screen , my Mac called them by name;

''Now Compaq! Now Acer!'', my speaker did reel;

''On.Apple! On Gateway !'' Santa started to squeal !!

''Jump on to the circuits ! And into the chip!

Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!''

The screen gave a flicker, he was into my '' Ram ''

Then into my room rose a full hologram!

He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes.

Which were black ( the white shocks he really should lose)

He pulled out some discs he stored in his backpack.

Santa looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack!

His eyes how the twinkled! His glasses , how techno!

This ain't the same Santa that I used to know!

With a wink in his eye and a nod of his head,

Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, gave my Mac a quick poke,

And accessed my C drive with only a stroke.

He defragged my hard drive, and added a ''Dimm''

The threw in some cool games, just on a whim!

He worked without noise , his fingers they flew!

He distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo!

He updated Office, Excel and Quicken

Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!

My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape.

As he added the latest version of Netscape.

The drive gave a whirl as if it were pleased,

St Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.

The placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,

Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!

He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,

Back into the net with barely a blink

But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight'

''Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!''


Oh come all yee faithful>>>>



How do snowmen greet each other?

Ice to meet you




8 Replies

Really like that one my King - Dozy x


me eyes surfed the screen with glee! No virus around I hope, Hhave a sip of strong anti virus and anti malware! keep well!

1 like

Thats a great one Kingy,

Merry Christmas & a very Happy new year to you & your lovely lady wife, -please put your feet up & recover for a full & funny 2014

The Witch, Karen xxxx


Very clever King. I couldn't think up anything like that. X


That's brilliant King, very clever, I shall pass it on to my tech geek son :-)

Wishing you a very Happy Christmas,

Victoria x


Thank you KOTC, just as I was reading the latest posts and despairing. You have made my day! Merry Christmas


Very clever King! How many crackers has your lady wife bought to keep you supplied with jokes over Christmas? Or do you write the jokes for the cracker company? That would be a good job for you. Have a merry and healthy new year.



My computer does what it likes just the same ho ho


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