~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE SQUEEZER

.............The Squeezer

The local bar was so sure that it's bartender was the strongest man around that the offered a standing £1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.

Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people had tried...over time: weightlifters, dockers , etc, but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a small voice, ''I'd like to try the bet.''

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said ''OK''; grabbed the lemon; and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow. But the crowds laughter turned into total silence.......as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon...and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the £1,000,and asked the little man; ''What do you do for a living/ Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter or what?''










The little fellow quietly replied:'' I work for the inland revenue.''



It's not taxing to join Breathe Easy

Phone BLF 03000 030 555 Mon-Fri 9am 5pm for details

20 Replies

  • hahahahahaha good one typical aswell x

  • Probably a true tale! mahuamoon

  • Very good I like it.Did someone say your not well KOTC? stay in away from the fireworks not those fumes .I do love fireworks. In fact I would like my ashes attached to a couple of giant chrysanthimums (dont know the spelling the flowers that are flowering now) fireworks over the sea .wont need a coffin just a dustbin liner.No religeous ceremony just friends and family a glass of something nice, some music that ive already written down and up up and away a celebration....i will need to get rent a crowd in as i only know about six people haha!Janexx

  • L.L. You were nearly there with your spelling, think you needed a 'e' instead of the 'i'. If us lot were to your funeral (perish the thought) you wouldn't have to rent a crowd, we would be there, giving you a cheer.

  • Got it all planned haven't you Jane. I am feeling quite a bit better today thank you.

  • Another good one, KIng, and very apt.

  • Sort of edges on the side of truth! annieseed

  • Ha! Ha! That was brilliant.

  • Poor little man. he had the last laugh though Mavary

  • Don't they always?

  • Very good, Your Majesty. :) :) :)

  • You are full of praise my good subject Toci

  • Great one King,I see you haven't lost your squeeze,oops sorry your touch!!

  • Squeezed out of that one just in time Wendells!

  • fantastic :) gave me a right old giggle.

  • I am pleased you managed to squeeze some giggles out nanaber

  • Brilliant - and so true KOTC. :-o

  • WE all love the Inland Revenue~~~Don't we poemsgalore?

  • Well that squeezed every last drop of laughter out of me King, maybe you should have worked for the inland revenue too. :) Ha Ha


  • KOTC Undercover agent ,all be warned Tony

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