I’m here because my husband has just been diagnosed with a 95 per cent blockage of his arteries. His advanced atherosclerosis isn’t a surprise — ten years ago a cardiologist warned this would happen if he didn’t take statins and make major changes to his lifestyle (he eats terribly and is allergic to excercise).
Now we have three young children and I’m terrified of what all this means for my husband, for me and for our family. I’m desperate to get him to see that he needs to transform his lifestyle (as well as pursue the medical options). You’d think this diagnosis is the shock he needs to change. But although he tells me he’s going to try, I know he’s not committed.
He believes this is caused by a genetic condition that causes high cholesterol. I think on some level then, he thinks a good lifestyle won’t make a difference.
I feel so frightened and so frustrated: it’s so obvious that he needs to do all he can to be well. So, I need your help: how can I get through to him, and convince him to eat well and exercise?
And has anyone seen any medical studies out there on the effectiveness of healthy living even if the atherosclerosis is advanced by genetic factors?
Thank you!
🙏🙏🙏
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RandP
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I have seen a couple of posts like yours over the last couple of years. Your husband believes he is either immortal or it simply won't happen to him or there's nothing he can do about it anyway.
I dare say the biggest element is fear and he is trying to block out the diagnosis.. Clearly he needs to change his ways.
We are where we are. Has your husband actually been told what are the consequences of the lack of action over the last 10 years? Has the cardiologist told him that a life style change will greatly improve things or has he been told he needs surgery as soon as possible, which might be making him even more fearful?
If the former, then lifestyle changes are much preferable to the alternative.
95%!! and they let him out of hospital?I only had a what they described as a "narrowing" and I struggled to walk more than 50m or go upstairs without getting breathless.
Sadly, no one is going to be able to help him until he needs emergency help. He might be lucky and have a survivable nstemi heart attack and be treated as an emergency case .
No doubt he’ll kick the ar$e out the Christmas period and that will be stressful for you too.
I had nstemi July 2023, blocked arteries at including LAD , had an angiogram and was told not suitable for stenting . I had quadruple bypass. So grateful 🙏. Love my rebirth and living life to the full. Enjoy an occasional beer with friends and family, love going to gigs , riding motorbikes , working on my farm , love my granddaughter ❤️❤️❤️.. so much to live for . I’ve tweaked my nutrition, because I want to keep my new pipes clear and enjoy some old age with my family and friends . It’s a shame you’re fighting your husband’s corner, he should be on here fighting for himself . Let’s hope he gets enough of a survivable shock to do the right things by you and your family.
As devonian186 has said there are occasional posts like yours which appear on here. Unfortunately there is only one solution and that is entirely down to the individual concerned. All others can do is to try to influence a change by whatever means are appropriate. We dont know what sort of relationship you have with your husband, or what your family circumstances are like, so can't really advise on that. However it highly likely that if your husband has a poor lipid profile with high cholesterol likely genetically linked his risk is greater than most, and if there are family members linked to your husband who have had heart attacks and strokes you could use that in your discussion with him. The only area you can directly influence perhaps if you are mostly responsible for food in your household is to subtly change your diet. There are plenty of guidelines on the BHF site which you might find useful. However for people who have genetically high cholesterol, like me and possibly your husband, although lifestyle does provide some improvement the biggest influence is through medication, and I suggest that should be your main motivator to get your husband to consider taking medication.
As you know, I'm generally not in favour of the medication you are referring to. However, I agree it's a different matter for those with genetically high cholesterol. The usual lifestyle changes plus suitable medication is required, as you know. Not sure whether that will be sufficient for this particular gentleman with a 95% blockage though...
Unfortunately as far as the subject individual is concerned there is little that can be done to undo or reverse any 'damage' that has occurred so far except by physical intervention such as surgery which may or may not be happening. What is apparent to me from the OP is that whatever happens on that front there is a currently a reluctance to take on board any of the heart risk reduction strategies in the form of lifestyle and/or medication which most members on here carry out to some degree, whether fully and happily embraced or not, and which will put him in a better place going forward.
Harsh, but fair! I'm surprised he's still walking around if he's got a 95% blockage which is deteriorating. It sounds to me to be a little late for merely a few lifestyle changes, surely something more aggressive is required here, and fast! But what do I know 🤔
My husband has been walking around with a totally blocked LAD since 1997, neither stents or a bypass being an option. You'd be surprised what medication & lifestyle changes can achieve.
I hope your husband has been prescribed the appropriate medicine to help prevent him having a heart event.
Is your husband in hospital waiting for his possible onging treatment?
I note in your profile that your husband's surgeon has advised he needs a coronary artery bypass.
14 years ago my husband was found to have an almost completely blocked left anterior descending coronary artery, LAD. He was kept in hospital a few days until his treatment by a stent.
My husband did attend cardiac rehab, took his medication however didn't manage to loose weight or increase his exercise.
This time last year, I noticed he was slightly breathless. I persuaded him to see his doctor. His LAD was 99% blocked again, another stent inserted.
My husband since January has attended cardiac rehab and had one to one online coaching.
He's lost 2 stone in weight, he now has a normal BMI and continues to exercise.
Sometime it isn't those closest to a person who can persuade a person to change.
I tried to encourage my husband to loose weight and exercise and got nowhere.
My husband I feel changed because he had help from a personal trainer. He got into the habit of training.
Perhaps give the BHF helpline a call and speak with one of the cardiac nurses too, they are very knowledgeable.
A very insightful reply from ennestl above. There is a tranch of psychotherapy called Motivational Interviewing. It is a model that is used within healthcare to optimise health promoting behavioural change. Basically your husband is precontemplative. and he is unwilling to take responsibility for his own behaviour. There is no power on earth that will make him change unless HE is ready to change. In fact the more others push the longer he will stay where he is. I imagine that the NHS will offer him stent or bypass surgery. If so this will give him time to find the motivation to make the changes that are so evident to all.
Hello, firstly can I say how amazing you are for putting this out there. My heart goes out to you, I am so sorry for all that is happening And I can imagine your pain and fear. I can only speak from my own experience but I wonder if to your husband the thought of the "battle" in front of him (lifestyle, exercise etc) seems so huge and momentous he just cannot face it. Because this isn't about a quick fix where a couple of weeks of "being good" will do the trick. This is changing everything about his life for the long term. Unfortunately only he can make that decision. I made the decision about 2 years ago (a year after learning that I had a number of issues with my heart). In that time I have lost 5st 5lb and up until my surgery a few weeks ago walked a minimum of 3 miles every single day. Had someone told me 2 years ago that I could maintain this lifestyle and would actually look forward to my walks I would have laughed in their face. I couldn't even get to the end of my road without being so out of breath and needing a sit down in those first few weeks, but with each week that passed I could go a little further. The big picture is scary so maybe he could focus on something small at first, walking for 5 minutes a day. I don't know if this helps but I just wanted to know my thoughts are with you and well done for being a supportive wife. No one could ask for more.
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3 weeks post CABG surgery
Feeling reflective after my 2nd HA
Angiogram 
husband diagnosed with cardiovascular disease 
