after 4 months waiting for the dreaded call , it came Tuesday afternoon 5 days notice, being admitted Sunday, for triple bypass Monday… I’m trying so hard to convince myself that this will be ok, but I have a head full of negative thoughts… being in pain, the coughing, swelling, lack of sleep, complication's , all I can see is this really very steep hill to climb metaphorically , I can’t see the top and any positives seem swamped …not feeling strong emotionally to get through this, to top it all the gps are now striking/reducing appointments …
I’ve tried meditation which helps for a few minutes but doesn’t really help overall, trying to stay busy but as soon as I stop it floods back.
Have been given a mild dose of diazepam which has a minimal effect
I had the need to post here as my immediate family don’t need to know how scared I am, parents too old to worry them, my 3 adult kids don’t need to know or worry…. my close friends just don’t get it which I do understand
I have no partner for support so feeling a bit sorry for myself
feel physically sick, no appetite and pretty overwhelmingly helpless and alone . I’ve lost nearly 3 stone in weight since March ,
Maybe I just need someone who’s been through this procedure to say it’s not going to be as bad as you thought .., is it worth it?
sorry in advance for such a depressing post…
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Di1967
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Just one week ago I was as scared as you sound, when my partner went in for heart bypass surgery.
I took great comfort from the positive stories on here and from the anaethetist who came to see us on the day of surgery when he said "you're 51 - you'll fly through this" all day whilst waiting for news, this was what kept me strong.
Fast forward one week....we are now day 7 post surgery. He's home, he's eating, he's sleeping, he's pain free and he has said its nowhere near as bad as he was expecting. I am amazed at his recovery so far, he gets very tired but is able to shower and dress himself and it's all been a positive experience during this first week.
I hope you can take some comfort from this.
The other thing I kept reminding myself, is that whilst it's a huge life changing day for the patient - it's a days work to the surgeon and something they are doing every day.
Wishing you all the best for Monday, you will be in safe hands.
How you are feeling is totally normal and I think you have done amazingly well to get to this stage without much support.
I certainly wouldn't hide how you are feeling. I didn't.... I was a mess, totally fell apart and everyone knew that I was struggling.
Have you made your feelings know to your medical team? If not then please do.
My GP arranged for me to have appointments with a Clinical Psychologist to get me through surgery and she was amazing. She wrote a care plan for me for the staff in hospital to follow and that really helped. Obviously not enough time for this for you, but becuase they knew so was so scared I bet with the anaesthetist as soon as I was admitted and he arranged sedatives and sleeping tablets for me.
Your friends won't get it, because it's not happening to them, it's easy for others to say you'll be fine, or turn a blind eye.
You will need help when you come out of hospital if you live alone though . I had a a replacement Aortic valve and then also needed a pacemaker. I was helpless for at least a couple of weeks when I got home.. at that point it was about 5 weeks post surgery too.
I'd made it clear beforehand that I would need help and put out a plea on Facebook for local friends wiling to be added to a WhatsApp group.
Then I would put requests out as and when I needed help...opening my windows, getting food out of my freezer in thr garage, coming for a tiny walk with me, cutting the grass, taking me out for a ride in their car. So many people stepped up to help me and it wasn't the ones that I'd have expected.
You will be OK, but I know how terrifying this time is. Now is the time to make sure you've got everything you need for the hospital stay. Long charger for your phone, short sleeved button front PJs, cordial to make the lukewarm water drinkable, boiled sweets in case you have to have the potassium drink to get rid of the bad taste afterwards, sleep mask, shower gel that isn't your favourite (I can't use the one that I took into hospital any more, it sends me straight back to that time and would have been gutted if it had been my fav) Lots more things so feel free to message me if you need to.
The waiting and anxiety is awful I know , I got my call on Wednesday to go in Thursday for test then in on the Sunday with open heart surgery scheduled for the Monday .
Once you arrive at hospital the time flies by and the surgeons and nurses are just amazing and put you at ease , it is their routine day job 😊
I’ve now been home two weeks and I can honestly say it hasn’t been any where near as bad as I feared in fact it is quite manageable and I can already see the improvements so please try not to worry because everything will be fine 😊
I am an anxious person really suffer with anxiety where I feel it is out of control and when I had 3 heart attacks it got worse and then when I was told I needed a triple heart Bypass and I was 58 well I wondered how I would cope with it and yes I was petrified
Please stop now reading any negative information about this op because honestly that will just add to the fear and not at all how I found it to be
See this as a new start to a new and better life one that will give you years to be with your family
Let them know how scared you are as soon as you walk in there the Nurses are specialised to care for heart patients and I am not sure how it works but all of a sudden you feel so safe I was so surprised at the feeling I got when I went in
The surgeons do this all the time and know exactly what they are doing so you are in safe hands
Yes when you wake up there is some discomfort but I would say as you have had Children like I have it was less than giving birth and they do give you pain control which really works
A couple of days and you are back on the ward and they have you up and moving ready to start your recovery
Honestly if I can do it anyone can and I am not just saying that it is so true so I know you will do it and will be posting soon telling us how you are
If you need to know anything else before the op , after the op while you are recovering just come on and ask and we will share our experiences with you and help as much as we can
I know you do not want to worry your loved ones but they are there to support you sometimes in life we need their support and to put ourselves first rather than trying to protect them and you may be surprised how much a support they will be if they know how you feel
Your post is not depressing at all it is what many of us have posted before this op and the support we are given from other members for me when I was going through it was what helped me so much
Let us know how you get on and if you need to keep posting then do so but you will be fine and as I said if I can do it anyone can including you x
Not long to go, so have one last mega panic. I was wound up, but all the fear and concern melted as soon as I entered the hospital. Cardiac wards/ hospitals have the most brilliant staff and Doctors.
You will need care when you get home. Going to a care home is a good option.
My op was four years ago. After the op I felt a little better every day. And then I was well and truly mended. Without op I would have passed away within a few weeks.
Keep trying the meditation. I use a tinnitus relaxer to help with the meditation and to get off to sleep.
When any of us have these heart issues it’s as if the ground under our feet opens up and swallows us.
In August of 2016 I had Aortic valve replaced and bypass. It will be 8 years next week. I am here to say that it was worth everything for the last 8 years, I have seen my granddaughters thrive grow into wonderful young women who will change the world in their own ways.
First you will not be in a lot of pain, the medics see to that and as long as you follow the instructions of not lifting your arms above your head and not lifting anything heavier than half a kettle of water you will be fine. Like any broken bone the sternum needs to heal. Do your breathing exercises I called them huffing and puffing! Keep doing them when you get home, remember your lungs collapse during the surgery so it takes time for those little pockets to fill up again. Do your walking, I used to count lamp posts! I know silly but it worked every day I would walk to the next one. Listen to your body, if it says I am tired you rest, tears are normal your brain is wondering what on earth has happened to me.
There isn’t a single day that passes that I am not grateful to the medical team that gave me a second chance.
I send you my best wishes you will be fine.
Pauline.
Hi Di,
I have just celebrated my 1 year anniversary and although i wouldnt like to go through it again everyday does get easier. You get used to sleeping on your back. The pain also becomes more bearable. Physio helped me as did walking.
Now 1 year my ECG it totally clear and i go bike riding every day.
On the morning of my op i was terrified, my anesthetist gave me a jab and that was the last thing i remembered, next thing i was awake with no breathing tube. I was eating a fruit salad 12hrs later.
I got home on the 6th day and now i am fully recovered with no adverse affects and off all meds apart from low dose asprin.
I can’t reassure you from my own experiences, but if l can give you some comforting words to give you hope. You will be in safe hands. You will be well cared for and they will not let you be in pain. You are doing it to get well and feel much better than you do right now. It will give you a better future with your family and prolong your life. My brother-in-law had a triple bypass and he was fine and never looked back, doing things he couldn’t do before the procedure. This procedure is now quite common and many are performed with positive results, so they know what they are doing and how to look after you. Keep strong and look beyond this to a much better time. Soon you will be saying it’s the best thing you did. The best is yet to come.
six months to the day and having made it to the op after over a year of panic. This is what the light at the end of the tunnel looks like for me. Good luck! Looking forward to seeing your six months later post 😍
So sorry for your anxiety Try to relax a bit and talk to family who, really, DO need to know and would be sad that you. are not allowing them to help as much as they can.
I think everyone who’s faced surgery on this site knows how you are feeling - it’s beyond scary and we get you . Hang in there there is a future ahead you are in good hands. The surgeons who do these huge operations do them as their day job - they know what they are doing ! Try to look to the future you will feel better, you will recover, and life will be good . Talk to the staff they are the experts they know how and why you feel so fearful - it’s normal to be so !!! but it will get better , and your road to recovery starts now . Good luck hang in there you are certainly not alone .
Possibly a slightly clumsy suggestion, but I'm sure coming from a good place - and as someone who went through OHS at 38, I found getting my affairs in order upsetting when having to do it, but comforting when I was going down for surgery as I'd done absolutely everything that would ever be necessary and planned for all eventualities. And of course it wasn't needed - but now unlike many of my contemporaries, I have a Will!
Can i just reiterate the comments below, only a fool isn’t scared or frightened, i was 68 when i had my triple bypass , the only time i suddenly stopped being scared was in the anaesthetic room, My surgeon and master nurse, “Bill you ok there your stats have suddenly calmed down”
i explained to them a sudden sense of peacefulness had enveloped me.
Jokingly i said “ one of two things are about to happen
1/ wake up in a few hours repaired
2/ you have to my family why i’m not coming back”
the team laughed and were “ well that’s a first
Next thing im in the recovery room talking to my family. Then the road to recovery began .
So please take strength in even tough your feeling alone there’s a hole community who’ve got your back and have the same tee shirt your wearing now.
I know this all looks and feels terribly scary right now, we've all felt this anxiety and worry about whether we will be able to cope even after the surgery goes well.It's understandable waiting is a terrible game and we imagine things will be much worse than the reality, partly because we feel so awful because of the symptoms we struggle with because of our heart problem.
But. You only have to look at the amount of members we have here whom have survived and enjoyed life , and even in many cases got a new lease for life to have something to be hopeful about.
It's great and you should be proud of yourself for reaching for help from people whom really understand what you are going through. Getting your worries off your chest do help quite a bit. You can post here anytime if the next few days and during your recovery and we will stand by you and try to help you all we can. You are also doing the right thing trying to do things to relax you and keep you calm.
Yet, we can only do so much from here, you can only do so much on your own , and in these important times we do all need to have someone closer to us to talk to, hold our hands and speak for us when we don't feel up to it.
This is why I want to advise you that one of the best things you can do for your family as well as yourself is to tell them how things are making you feel, and ask them to help you in practical ways and even with a bit more company during this time and the early weeks in recovery.
I'm giving this advice from experience, not just with heart illness but I have various chronic conditions which I will need to manage for life. For years I would hide his bad or scared I was feeling from my friends or family.
I didn't want them to worry , and I didn't want to admit his bad I felt about things myself.
I'd struggle on hiding it all , so well at times that people treated me as though there was nothing wrong with me at all.
But doing this didn't do me or my family any good.
As my illnesses began to collect in number and my heart conditions really began to affect me I finally decided to bite the bullet and be honest with myself and others.
I was struggling, I was scared , I couldn't keep carrying on regardless and paying the price in private later. I needed help and support , and nobody knew how much , not be ause they couldn't understand or didn't care , but because they couldn't read my mind or know what was going on until I shared things honestly with them.
Sharing his you feel and being honest is a revelation.
It doesn't have to be emotional or complex.
Using simple words in a caring, matter of fact way that just lay out the facts of what you have , what might happen , how it is making you feel and what support you might need or how you might need to change certain things in you do in the future is the best way.
The revelation just about everyone discovers when they finally share with others , is that your family and friends give a big sigh of relief because they've been worrying too but they didn't want to ask and didn't know what to do because they didn't want to worry or upset you either. They've been anxious and walking on egg shells around the subject and also keeping up the appearances that everything is fine because they think that's what you wanted.
When the door is opened by us to let them in the majority of them step over the threshold and if you ask for emotional support and ask different individuals to help in various practical ways or stay with you they are eager to, because being able to help in any small way helps them to feel less powerless in a situation they can't completely solve for you.
If you think back yourself , I'm sure there have been times that you've been that carer and felt that way helping as much as you could.
This time it's just your turn to ask for that help and help others to care for you.
It can feel hard to begin , I will admit I worked out what I wanted to say to people in my head and on a notebook first to make sure I had the words I needed , and I'm so glad that I did.
Since then the support and understanding I've had from family and friends has been amazing . Yes, you will have the odd fairweather friend whom doesn't understand you and steps away but is that the type of person you need around you when you are ill or in Life anyway).
And, most importantly, the sense of relief and reduction in stress I felt has made a big difference in how I can manage my health and keep positive, but it's also helped to relieve the stress and guilt my loved ones were feeling and hiding too when they saw me struggling in silence.
So, I'd say that's my best advice to anyone whom is ill in the long term or short term , especially before an operation like the one you are about to have , your adult children will be able to and want to help, and the better mindset you are in before surgery with a post surgery plan in place will set you up for a better and quicker recovery,
Take care and keep as positive as you , because things will be brighter come Monday, hugs , Bee
I’m 71, I had 2 x PCI, AVR and a single CABG a year ago. Like everyone I was nervous. At 3 months post surgery I ran an organised 5k. I’m still doing so (about to get ready for today) and do a weekly session of gym circuits. I’m back to my normal life, feel years younger, a lot, lot fitter and enjoying a new lease of life. I keep being told how fit and healthy I now look. Before surgery 150yds walk and I’d need to stop to recover my breath.
Those of us with quadruples don't normally bother to reply to mere triples...
In all seriousness, this operation has almost become "routine." I watched a Frasier episode that must be 20 years old now, where Niles has to have a bypass and they surprisingly called it routine even then.
Which is not to minimise the fact that it is a big operation but that it is done thousands of times a day (fortunately not to the same person) and by surgeons at the peak of their profession using well proven techniques.
You will likely be coming home on the Friday and feeling pretty sorry for yourself and likely in some pain. Someone will need to look after you as the bit of the process you can influence is when you come out of hospital so preparations need to be made.
Your GP will sort out the medical side but someone will need to prepare food, you will need comfortable places to sit, easy access to water/squash, entertainment whether books, tablet, tv etc. You will likely be restless at night so may need to move around or read or go to the loo and again you need ready access to this facility.
I found I needed maximum paracetemol 2x4 tablets daily so get in a good supply of these. I took them for 6 weeks then suddenly one day didnt need any more. Follow instructions about not lifting anything at all heavy including full kettles and not lifting things too high. You will likely be emotional and weepy at times
Getting into clothes might prove problematic so you will need stuff easy to get into and loose.
The procedure itself I found to be no problem although being in hospital having constant tests or stitches removed or other medical bits and pieces is not pleasant ,but generally not painful.
It was the return home afterwards that I think patients need to be more prepared for. You will have two steps forward and 2 steps back in your recovery so might be worth keeping a daily detailed health diary for those times when you think you are not improving but will be. I think that it takes around 6 weeks to start looking forward and feeling more optimistic but that depends on age and outlook and fitness before the operation.
Good luck and I hope you will let us all know how you are doing
Hi I had a friend who many years ago had a triple bypass,he is still going on very well over 20yrs ago and I'm certain the way they do things now are so much more advanced but totally understand fear,its your heart!! I've just been diagnosed with large hole in my heart not anyway as bad but scary still,all the best but try to relax knowing these surgeons do this many times now
I got the same call as you 5 months ago, a triple bypass at Papworth, admission Sunday afternoon and surgery first up monday morning.
I was relived and apprehensive about the procedure, I worried about the pain and all the negative things that go through your mind.
The reality for me was that the pain was easily manageable, no agony, just discomfort and some soreness. I was pleasently surpirised at how smoothly things go, I guess it’s all down the fantastic staff and how at ease they make you feel.
I found the whole experience very positive, and that puts you on track for your recovery. There is nothing to fear.
It's normal to be scared . I know it's hard but try and be positive and look to the future after you heal. Hopefully this will make you smile . In 2020/2021 found out I was born with a hole in the side of my heart it's small but I had to laugh when my cardiologist told me as I have had 3 major operations and 2 minor ones all with a dicky heart and no one knew. Plus I missed heart beats ,have palpitations and heart flutters . Thankfully on Flecainide and Apixaban. I have PAF. I am 66 still here and fighting to live longer . Plus I was born with a rare hereditary neurological condition which I didn't finally get a diagnosis for until April 2022. And only after my whole genome was genetically tested. It's a mutant gene in my brain receptors which I have been in constant pain my whole life and effects my mobility and many other things .
At least you know when your op is and there are positive posts here and hopefully you will take them to heart and they will help you . 🌹
This isn't a depressing post it's what normal people go through. The unknown is always the difficult bitWhat you have to realise is that you need the operation
Your quality of life will be much improved
And you should be able to live a normal life again
The operation is being carried out by specialists who do this on a regular basic
You probably will be sore afterwards but that's a small price to pay for a better life
Hello! I'm so sorry to hear you are finding things so hard right now. The fact you are sharing your concerns means you are a strong person, recognise you need some support, and are open to help. That's great! I understand about keeping things quiet when it comes to elderly parents and children. I told my parents I'm having a 'slight adjustment to my heart' before my surgery. Sometimes we don't have the extra emotional MBs to help them cope.
The great thing in the forum is that so many of us have been through all this, and come through the other side. Many of us find it wasn't half as bad as we expected and the results are far better than anticipated.
A principle that helped me to cope too is that waiting for treatment is always the hardest time. Once it all starts we kick in to "get on and do it" mode and that gives us adrenaline and motivation.
Remember to us this is HUGE, but to the doctors, nurses and carers it's just normal. Thousands, in fact millions around the world are having these operations and benefiting.
Meditation, keeping busy, being with other people, getting fit, hobbies, prayer, are all great ways to get us cope.
You'll come out the other side and think "I've done it" and maybe you'll be able to help others through it who are following behind you.
Hello! Thank you for reaching out & I can see that you have some lovely replies. It's 12 months since I had my bypass & like many others, I found the waiting much worse than the surgery itself. I'd seen my Father ho through the operation 40yrs ago & it's always been something I'd dreaded. I had my op on the Friday, came home on the Tuesday & was sat on a park bench with my brother on the Thursday. Neither of us could quite believe how smoothly everything went. It's perfectly natural to be worried/scared we all were. The medical teams are amazing! Please let us know how you get on & we're all here for you! X
Yep, it's worth it. I had a triple by pass last year. I was 62. You may have some minor discomfort just after but it's amazing how quick the recovery is. Keep doing some breathing exercises when you're calm, so you can do them more easily when you're not. They do help a bit. I'm going walking in Wales one year later and I and will have you in my thoughts. You'll be in good hands the medical staff are angels.
I haven't been through what you are, but I just wanted to say I really feel for you. It's really hard keeping things to yourself so as not to worry others. I have done this a lot myself.Are there help lines/ chat or internet crisis lines where you live? Sometimes I've found it helpful to chat online to a counsellor on one of those to just let everything out to someone who can chat with me for a bit.
Other than that, putting on any old familiar tv show and watching it for hours to try and distract my thoughts if even for brief moments can help.
Thinking of you, will be praying for successful surgery and a smooth recovery. I hope you have something nice planned as a treat for when you get home from hospital. ❤️🌸❤️
The anxiety and apprehension in the run up to surgery were far, far worse than the recovery. Once admitted to hospital I was mostly calm as it's all just procedure to them and you can ask questions and they look after you. A year on and the surgery is a distant memory but one that has formed me into someone I'm proud of. Good luck and keep talking on here, we've got you.
Nothing much to add to all the wonderfully reassuring posts above except that I was so scared before I had my triple bypass that I couldn't get from the hospital car park to the cardiology department without a lot of help. I had built it up so much in the days before the operation that my body was almost refusing to move!
When I finally got inside though, the staff were so professional and had such a 'this is no big deal for us , we do it every day' attitude that I instantly relaxed.
I was really worried about post-op pain but there wasn't any. I was just a bit uncomfortable, especially at night time. I never needed anything stronger than paracetamol and I'm a big baby when it comes to pain!
One week later, I went home.
Please let us know how it goes. I am looking forward to hearing you say 'it wasn't so bad after all'
Hi there. I had a quadruple heart bypass in December and I now feel great. Yes I was worried about the entire procedure but I can assure you that you really are in safe hands. My op was in Southampton. The surgeon was a really nice guy who took me through every aspect of the work he was to perform and he really assured me that I would be ok. The anaesthetist did the same. After surgery I was in ICU being looked after by my own nurse who was very reassuring and caring.
A week after surgery I was at home and then under the care of my doctor and local hospital. The hospital offered me a rehab course which I could go to once the wounds from the op had healed which they did remarkably quickly. Do take up this course offer as it helped me to regain confidence and to be able to talk to people who had the same problem as me.
A tip for you! Start taking Arnica now. It really helps to reduce the bruising.
Good luck on Monday. You will be ok and you will get through this. I can assure you that this is when the NHS is at its finest with the help and support you will get.
I felt similar before mine, I am sure most of us did.But the recovery is nowhere near as bad as you think it will be especially if you follow the guidelines and exercises.
The pain was nothing like I expected, much much less to the point where 2 years after I can barely remember it.
Focus on the future, I am.now very fit and healthy and can pretty much do whatever I want.
Everything you have said is perfectly normal and compleyely understandable!!
This is your heart!! The most important organ in your body!!
My experience was due to genetics so I was never going to avoid it.
I had 3 heart attacks in 2021, 22 and 23 then a cabg in January of 23. They kept me in hospital as I kept having really painful angina attacks even at rest. I like you, was absolutely petrified but had 10 days in hospital.to get my head around it. I knew it was the right thing for me, and the only thing that would solve the problem. Considering how major and serious this operation is, you have to remember how incredibly skilled these surgeons are, ( as I was told) This is their job, and they do it every day. Its a huge theatre team, all with their own jobs, and you will be in good hands. I had my operation in a very old hospital in Edinburgh. The aftercare was adequate but could have been so much better. I think the staff were just exhausted and burned out to be honest. You are home in 5 days!! then the real recovery starts
.just take it easy every day, baby steps!! No.heavy lifting, bending or stretching, twisting or getting in and out the bath. Nothing that puts strain on the sternum. I bought a recliner chair from a charity shop and it was a godsend as I couldn't lie on my back or side for months. You can also hire hospital beds!!! Depending where you live I could give you info on that. You might have district nurses come out for a while to dress your sternum and remove the stitches from your leg where they harvested the veins. For me, the physical recovery went well but the emotional recovery was extremely difficult. Lots of heightened emotions and crying. It does all settle down I promise you. I'm.18 months post op and it was the best thing I ever had done!! Once you are in hospital you will feel better. I wish you all the luck in the world and a speedy recovery. This will give you a new lease of life. Good luck and take care. Xx
Hiya, it’s human nature to stress, I’m a Cardiac Nurse myself that Cardiac Rehabs Bypass patients. It’s a surgery that’s more common than you think. Yes it’s major surgery but it’s also very successful surgery and patients go on to live a good life after. The recovery after is 6 weeks and your only in hospital 5-7 days these days. Pain is controlled very well, they get you up and moving in ITU within 12-24 hours post surgery. By day 2 all your drains and lines are out and feeling good within yourself. Your first 2 days are a blur any way and sleeping most of it due to pain killers. You’re young so you will breeze this journey especially if relatively fit & well prior to the surgery. Just think of it as a new beginning and all new central heating system that’s going to maximise all your organs especially heart circulation. Good luck!!! You will be fine, trust me I see about 6 a day all doing well.
I had an aortic bypass in Febuary this year, felt as you do I put my affairs in order. Care & all medical staff wonderful, you will wake up to a new part of your life Good Luck on a good recovery.
I'm just over 8 weeks post triple bypass and yes, it's worth it and no, it will not be anything like as bad as you are expecting! As many have said, the amount of pain is remarkably small compared to what you might think.
As far as recovery is concerned, it is really important you stick to the guidelines you are given, especially not stretching out to lift things early on. You may be pleasantly surprised how quickly the surgical wounds heal, particularly the chest wound.
One thing you must not do is compare your progress with anyone else. When we say that everyone's journey is different, we're not kidding. The differences can be enormous, so find what you are comfortable with and go with that, regardless of other people's experience.
You've got this, it will be up and down at times, you'll suddenly feel tired or down for no reason, but you need to know that's entirely normal. We've all been there and more than just survived, you can too 😀
I'm 70 and had a triple bypass in March. My heart attack happened while I was out and about and I had to spend 10 days in hospital before the operation. I'm guessing you must be in better condition than I was because they haven't kept you in hospital attached to monitors all the time before your operation.
It's been 4+ months since my op and I feel better than I've felt in years. And what was the worst thing for me in the entire process from the heart attack till now? The issue you are dealing with: the uncertainty prior to the op and the fear this generates.
I dealt with my fear by focusing on the things I could do with all the extra life I would have after the operation. (Without the operation, I would have had around 2 years to live).
So, I pictured my 2 lovely little grandaughters and thought about being with them and helping them grow up into happy well-balanced young ladies. I thought of how I wanted to spare my elderly mother the grief of having a son die in her final years. I also made a mental list of the good things I wanted to do with my life plus my unfulfilled ambitions. I thought about how I would be getting 10-15 years good quality active life in exchange for a few weeks of restrictions and inconveniences.
My father had a couple of heart attacks and died at the age of 65. The treatments we have now were not widely available when he died. If you think about it, you'll see there are a lot of reasons to feel glad that you have this precious chance to have more life.
I am so humbled and grateful to all the replies and encouragement you all have given and shared… I really didn’t expect such compassion and kind words 🙏🏻 from so many , a virtual hug to you all.
for the first time in months I’m feeling … I can do this. Although I feel ok fingers crossed my Covid test is clear tomorrow morning and no cancellations…
Thank you all for your words of encouragement, I will post again next week with an update
Please don’t say that you are sorry for telling how you feel. Those are genuine feelings that need to be shared—sometimes getting scary thoughts out into the sunlight can make them feel lighter.
You have every right to own all of the fears, worries and thoughts that all of us would probably have too. I know that I would be scared and worried 😟 You know what they say: “A problem shared is a problem halved.”
Actually, my first thought was of how brave you are in trying to hold in all of your worries and fears in order to protect everyone around you. That is proper brave. But, part of me also wonders whether your grown children (for example) might want to be able to know how you really feel and how they might be able to love and support you through all of this.
I haven’t been through all of what you are going through so I can’t offer advice, or tips, to help. I can tell you that I will be thinking about you and saying prayers for your recovery. I can also remind you that your surgeons, doctors and nurses are experienced professionals who know what they are doing. You are in good hands.
I wish you the absolute best for Monday! You are brave and you will do this. ❤️💕
You don’t say what the op is? From my own point of view if it’s a coronary bypass then my op was in 1977 I’m still here when I never ever thought I would be.31 at the time 78 now doing things I never thought I would do again.In fact GWRH as the longest surviving triple heart ❤️ bypass patient.So pardon the pun take heart of course it takes some getting over but worthwhile you will thanks to the NHS be born again.
Let's look at your concern not to worry your kids from a different angle; you are depriving them of the immense pleasure of them being able to help their mum; and they would be disappointed that you felt unable to confide in them, so let go of your pride, and your fear will dissipate.
perfectly understandable how you’re feeling and can’t think that anyone in your position would not also have felt the same - I had some similar feelings at a much lesser prospect - what helped me was to rationalise the possible benefit of having it and what that could do to help change the way my life had become and the prospect of regaining what I considered a better quality of life - so sending positive vibes across to you - very best of luck with your Op and here’s to a huge improvement to your life
Hello sorry for the delay in writing this, I have read your post and everyone’s answers, I am sorry I’m not much help but my bypass was an emergency due to an out of the blue HA,
What I have come on to say is that you are in the best hands ever, this wonderful team saved my life.
What you are feeling must be very normal I know how I would have felt if this type of operation had been planned for me.
Sending you all the best and I will be thinking of you on Monday and waiting for your next post telling us all how you are feeling
I'm 55, had a double bypass on Jan 29th this year, discharged home 5 days later. Recovery is in your own pace, we're all different....but 6 months on I'm feeling super fit, walking lots, very positive outlook on life and no chest pain!!
The surgical team were all amazing, and are my heroes!!
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6 months on.
What’s on your mind? Negative?
The support I’ve had from this group has helped me make a big decision. As I travel along on my acceptance journey. 
10wks post op AVR 
INR levels - how do you stabilise them! 
