I'm a 34yo male with a massive eating problem, this has been ever since I've been an adult really, just a really poor relationship with food.
I had my heart valve replaced with a mechanical one a couple of years ago (completely unrelated to weight, was a random infection on the valve) and I was wondering if anyone has had stuff done to their heart and has gone on to also have either weight loss surgery or take weight loss drugs afterwards?
Obviously with a mechanical valve I'm on a medly of medication daily to keep it all in check, but I would love to lose a very large chunk of my weight as I'm definitely obese. I've tried in the past with medial success, lost a few stone but only through nearly starving myself daily which hasn't held in the long run.
I know it's a conversation which I need to (and will be) have with my GP to see what options I have, but this was just a query I was putting out there to see if there were any others with similar situations with me who have gone through similar experiences.
Thank you!
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lmo90
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Yes you are right this is something you should talk with your Doctor about
However I have actually been following someone no heart problems that had weight loss surgery and even they said it has not been as easy as they thought and they wished they had tried harder to lose it naturally
Weight loss drugs again that would have to be up to your Doctor
You say you have always had a bad relationship with food have you ever had any therapy for this as so many do and it really helps also if you stick to a healthy eating plan and exercise unless you have a medical issue you that prevents you from losing weight then you will lose it
If and I say if as I don't think they would be eager to let you have surgery but if you did you would lose weight but whatever is behind this relationship you have with food would still be there and you could put the weight back on as even with surgery some do
Speak with your Doctor and good luck in losing weight
Being a bloke therapy has been something I've always felt is out of reach, I know you have the paid options which I definitely cannot afford, not at the rates advertised that I've looked into. But is there therapy options on the NHS? I need 'some' sort of help but I'm not really sure where to start. I know it's as simple as eat less than you burn in a day, but I've always been a meal-finisher regardless of portion size, and with my lifestyle it's incredibly easy to get fast food than other alternatives
After my first heart attack we looked at what I ate and more or less it was not bad at all but what I had to look at was my portion sizes and I cut them down by half so to be honest if you are having big portions and eating lots of takeaways none of which is good for you heart you will put weight on or not be able to lose it
I am not sure where you got the idea that men and women have this problem and there is help and support out there for both free on the NHS as well
The place you start is by going to see your Doctor been open and honest and say you need support not only with losing weight but with therapy to get to the root of where this all started and how to break the habit as you have tried alone and it has just not worked
If you have a good Doctor they should do a referral for you it no doubt might be you have to wait a while as the waiting lists can be long but maybe where you are they could also be shorter but the sooner you go and speak with them you are one step to getting the support you need
If only it was as simple as eat less than you burn. It’s a mental health issue/ illness . It works in reverse too , anorexia. I really hope you find a solution buddy. You obviously want to make some changes and I think that’s a fantastic start👊🏻. I have coached a few people with their fitness journeys , they all had a huge desire to achieve a goal and massive reason why they wanted to make changes. I agree with you that you need some professional help and that going private is probably the best route.
You mentioned that you are a meal finisher whatever the portion . It screams that a good start would be portion control , Are you making your own meals and plating up ? What sort of menu do you have over the week ? Is it varied ? Do you like cooking /prepping food ? Do you buy ready made highly processed ready meals ? Can you make some small immediate changes to sent the calorie excess (diet drinks instead of full sugar are an immediate calorie saving ) drinking calories really adds on pounds.. You don’t need to cut any foods out , you already have favourite foods and they should remain part of your normal diet. Do you understand and have some knowledge about nutrition ? It’s really interesting when you start to learn and find out some basics about fats , proteins , carbohydrates and their calorie contents and nutrition values /how they effect and work with our bodies.
Fantastic that you want to make the changes 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻.
FWIW, maybe start with understanding what food contains gluten and cut those out - just go absolutely anal pedantic on removing gluten from your diet and do not worry about the volumes of food you consume. Try that for 3 weeks - set a goal that next week and the week after will be 100% gluten free and see how you feel at the end of that.
I would suggest speaking to a GP before you do anything as they may be able to assist. I am a therapist that works with body image and disordered eating and although there are nhs therapists out there, it is hard to get help quickly. Usually nhs therapy is limited to a certain amount of weeks. Therapy for disordered eating usually requires longer. In my experience over eating or under eating and body image issues starts as a way of coping - trauma, boredom, loneliness etc. If you can invest in some help I would suggest that is the way to go. Most therapists would be happy to see you less than weekly.
There are no easy fixes to lose weight. I should know for decades I was obese at my heaviest 21st 2lb then it stayed around 19st+. 2017 after I had no one dependant on my and 2 of the tablets I had been taking from 1992 for my neurological symptoms have me jaundice. Serious ill for 5 months. Had a lot of time to think what did I want . Jaundice effected my eyes plus host of other horrible things.
After thinking only 3 things move house,loose weight and get fit. I realised it's a marathon not a sprint. After decades of losing weight then putting more on. Decided no matter how long it took I would lose the weight.
I weight and measured everything I eat and count calories . Even if I only lost quarter of a pound I was happy. 2 years ago had lost 7st still trying to lose the last stone . But I never give up . Everyday is a new start.
I realised what foods I have no control over those are cheese , chocolate,ice cream ,cakes ,bread products and biscuits. So don't buy them .
Think of it not as a diet but eating less for life . There are no short cuts to lossing weight but hard work and will power. I still have a treat but count the cals. Once I reached 15st 7lb attended an age UK community fit club . The instructor had to alter the exercises for me due to disability. I held on to a chair for leg exercises and sat down for arm ones. Was a size 32 now 16. I am baggy and flabby but don't care. I hide those bits.
I move to the north west in 2019. Still weight and count cals and got to sit fit class once a week but do exercises at home everyday.
My brother lost 8st by cutting out carbs and only having one meal a day. He swims for a hour 5 days a week and walks 10,000 steps a day.
Have 3 meals a day plus a snack if you want it but low cal. Plenty of fluids . If you drink alcohol it's high in cals even alcohol free so count those cals .
There are no short cuts but until you really want to lose the weight you won't .
Only you can stop putting food into your mouth . Diet drinks don't teach you healthy eating or any other faddy diet.
I hope you decide to lose weight but it's a whole life style change no short cuts and it's for life.
Don't set yourself a set amount to lose a week as you will be disappointed if you don't do it . Just be glad if you loose but don't be dishearten if you put on just don't give up. Plus measure yourself at the start. If you exercise you may find you stay the same or put on for a while but loose inches . Muscle weights more than fat.
Hi lmo90, first of all, well done you for being brave enough to admit you have a problem.
I do know someone who had the operation and it did work. But she did put her weight back on again in a short space of time. Everyone is different, so it may not be the same for you, but if you do have the op, maybe counselling alongside it will help. You can get that on the NHS, ask for IAP. The operation in itself is maybe not be a cure all.
Nowadays, the NHS are prescribing this new weight loss drug, ask you GP if you could try that. Different drugs do interact so you will need to check for compatibility with you heart drugs.
Whatever happens, I wish you every success, well done 👏
Hi IMO, I completely empathise with you. The darn eating problem, I know all about it. It is an illness the sooner people realise this the better. There is an area in the brain which controls this - the reward centre, similar to smoking and drugs, with every mouthful or puff dopermine the reward drug is released and we eventually drain it so much we eat etc more to gain more. We simply need a drug to block this. I was 85kg and when I got sick with heart problem I have lost 14kg until 2.5 yrs later diagnosed. Taste etc. for food went, sickly etc. They say fluid fills your stomach. Hunger is an awful thing and we need a drug to stop the addiction to the brain. That new drug for overweight diabetics sounds very promising. It alone is proof that you take the cravings away you don’t eat etc. Perhaps ask your Dr about it. All the best. P.s. I have my appetite back.
I think you have had plenty of good advice here but I’ll add my thoughts anyway.
Your GP would be a really good place to start. If there are a number of GPs at your surgery ask if one has a particular interest in weight related issues and get an appointment with that one. (Or one you know and like if that is a better option).
Ask what is available in terms of support, explain that you do not have a lot of money but would really like to tackle your weight properly and for long term health benefits . Ask if you can see a dietitian, ask if they offer any nhs local gym courses , ask if there is a walking group linked to the surgery. Ask if there is any particular diet book or web site that they would recommend. (I think some areas offer an online weight loss course) .
It is worthwhile and cost effective for the NHS to help you now so that the health problems associated with being overweight are averted as you get older-so don’t feel bad or embarrassed asking for this help.
In the meantime, it would make sense to try to review what is causing your weight gain. Maybe you could stop eating fast food if that is the issue . Cut out things like pizzas, pies, chips, burgers, fizzy drinks ( water/tea and coffee will hydrate you ) , ice cream, biscuits, crisps , salty snacks, confectionery and cake -in other words ‘packet’ ultra processed foods,
You could replace those less healthy foods with plenty of varied fresh vegetables ,lean meats, fish, some ( but not too many) unsalted nuts and fruit. If you cook yourself you can see what is going into foods. Take a fresh look at nutrition and find out what you like to eat from a new angle. You don’t have to be a whizz in the kitchen to create a veg stir fry and once you are happily doing that you can branch out.
And you could try to add in a bit more movement every day, go for a short walk each day and maybe add on a few more minutes or add in a second short walk. Gradually up it from a stroll to a fast walk.
Best wishes and please report back telling us how you get on and what you do. If you want support and encouragement there will be plenty offered here.
Hi. I had OHS aortic valve replaced almost three years ago. Last year I lost over three stone in weight by attending a local Slimming World group. It was very non judgemental and friendly. It worked for me and I thoroughly recommend it.
It may not feel like it but you are half way there. You are aware of your problem, you own it and now you are sharing it with us. It is such a personal challenge, there are a lot of ways to tackle weight but it is a case of finding the way that works for you. Regarding therapy, if you are open to it, it may help you to find the self worth/confidence to have a go. Another reply mentioned long term therapy, while that is ideal, even six sessions may give you some insight into what you can do for your self. The NHS has moved more funding into talking therapies and offer more than they used to. As for being a bloke and not able to access therapy please know it is a safe confidential space, there are also male therapist if that would help. If you have a local branch of Mind, they may offer counselling too, some is fund aided. You do have to find the right counsellor for you, if the first one doesn’t work for you ‘knock on another door’. You do have the answers within you, it is just a case of finding the way. Very best of luck.
I agree with all of the above. There are no quick fixes. Important to eat foods you really like while using weight. Don’t go hungry. Bulk them up by eating salad or a veggie that you really like. Don’t feel sad that you can’t have your fave takeaway again. You can, but in a smaller portion and only now and then. It’ll taste so much better that way too. Don’t go on a diet. You need to change habits. You’ll feel great as you start getting fitter and losing weight. Don’t set a time to do it. If you start slipping to old habits don’t think you’ve failed. Just pick yourself back up. These weightloss drugs only work if taken for life. I doubt that the NHS will give them to you for life. Speak to your doctor about whether she/he thinks you’d benefit from a short course to get you started on smaller portion size. My best friend had weightloss surgery. The permanent one. She’s still overweight although not quite as obese as before. The tragedy is that she never addressed why she was so addicted to overeating and is now an alcoholic
Lots of good advice already. I would avoid medical interventions such as surgery or medication only taking them up as a complete last resort. My only tip in addition to portion control is to wean yourself off unnecessary sugar. That's sugar in beverages like tea and coffee, no more cola or similar, reduce alcohol intake particularly beer, sweets, snack bars, chocolate, biscuits and cakes. Just don't buy them.
Sorry, cannot help you! But only you can help yourself! I also love my food and was told to reduce my weight. So far it's been a hard struggle and I have at one stage lost half kg! It's really difficult to maintain and fluctuates.
My son has a similar problem with his weight .It's very difficult to see a dietician on the NHS now but finally his GP agreed to refer him. They looked at what was affecting the way he ate, why and when and devised a plan that he c ould actually stay with. It isn't based on how much he eats but on when he eats and in 6 months he's lost 4 stone and it's still coming off
I think weight loss is not only a what you eat, the amount and the type ,style of eating which means that you often get up at night to have a midnight snack, There are other things like calorie loss through like exercise and the type of exercise for example walking, running as opposed to weight training. I have had not come across anybody experiencing weight gain following cardiac surgery. I think the best person to consult would be somebody who would do a full screening test with regard to metabolism. Sorry, I wish I would have been more explicit over this matter.
Ask your gp to refer you to an nhs specialist bariatric service. The waiting lists are long but you will get an appointment eventually (as long as you meet the NICE criteria for tier 3 specialist intervention). If accepted, they will ask you to complete a dietary programme and demonstrate commitment. Eventually you will see a surgeon. If, and only if, they decide that surgery is the option for you then you may be added to a waiting list for surgery. The process is at least 18 months and often a lot longer. There is plenty of time to keep trying to lose weight without such a radical intervention while you are waiting. There are many research papers which demonstrate how positive bariatric surgery can be for cardiac patients. Yes, it’s high risk, but so is being obese with a heart condition. I’ve had surgery after my valve replacement (not this particular type of surgery though) and it does increase the risk of complications but with careful management it can be done. Bariatric surgeries alongside heart surgeries, have low mortality rates although they are often the most complex
I know of two people who have had bariatric surgery and one was very successful and the other couldn’t stick to the dietary requirements. It’s a tool to aid weight loss but involves a lot of commitment. Look up the NICE criteria for bariatric surgery and as much research as you can find. Particularly look for research papers. Then, if you decide that it’s a step you wish to take then ask your GP for the referral. Good luck.
Have you had a look at Wegovy (Semaglutide)? Originally for diabetes but has recently been approved by the nhs as a weightloss drug. In some studies it has also been proven to reduce 'cardiac events'.
There has been lots of good advice on here for you
My friend had a similar problem and she went to her Doctors who put her on a NHS course , think it was called tipping the balance but the name may have changed . It was all free and consisted of a 12 week course of meetings, she had access to a food counsellor and the option of free swimming or Pilates or other firm exercise- once that was completed other options could be discussed.
You could also refer yourself to Talking therapy on the NHS - I did that and had a therapy phone call on CBT every two weeks which was helpful ( my first time doing therapy)
Losing weight I believe is more than just calories, it’s a different mindset .
For separate medical reasons I’ve lost 5 stone in 21 months.
Briefly - through consultation with my Dr took a GP referral at my local gym.
No judgement from my Dr or the personal trainer at the gym and no ramming do’s and don’t’s but exercising to improve my medical problem.
Through this I ran with it and after my 12 week referral I slowly and methodically lost my weight and improved my mobility etc. You can increase the gym referral if necessary.
I don’t call it a diet but a lifestyle change. .
I would still like to lose at least another stone but I am persevering not panicking or anything drastic. It took me years and years of unhealthy eating so I tell myself it doesn’t have to be overnight. It’s not just lettuce leaf’s either.
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