Psychological Healing

[Zed1063]

Good morning all.

I am feeling a little lost today! So I thought I would write a post on here amongst people who understand. Since my HA a year ago I have struggled with how I feel and the future, I keep telling myself I have to live for living not for dying but everyday I think that I have not long in this world and are so scared to even walk down my garden!

My mental state is in tatters, today is my birthday and all I keep thinking about is my grandparents died at 61! with their heart. How does everyone else cope with these thoughts? Are they normal? all I think about is dying!

I really don't know what sort of therapy would help me, if any, or where I can get the support I need. Is there any groups anyone knows of in Colchester?

TIA

[Hrty]

Hi, the mental recovery can take quite a while and for some of us it can take a while. I had my HA in Nov 22 after the initial shock and fears was doing pretty well until late May 2023 when I had a blip. That really knocked my confidence for six. Whilst at my initial hospital rehab talking therapies (formerly iTalk) was mentioned and I was able to do a self-referral to that. I also saw my GP who, thankfully, recognised that the emotional hit is a real issue referred me to MIND. These helped me immensely allowing me to talk through my fears and give me some goals to work to as well as coping strategies. I was also referred back to cardiac rehab at the hospital. Have a look at the talking therapies/iTalk website to see whether it's available where you live. It's free and you can self refer. Also, please talk to your GP, I was fortunate to find one that listened. My cardiologist also moved me to patient-led support although I've not needed to see him since last October time. I also continue to do my Phase 4 cardiac rehab which, for me, has strong links to the hospital and has helped massively with my continued recovery. It's no longer free but compares favourably cost wise with what I'd pay at a gym for access to circuit training, fitness classes, etc. Being with others on the same (continued) journey really does help. Hopefully there's something similar offered near you. Perhaps at the local gym/sports centre - I know people here that go to similar classes to me at the local sports centre.

Good luck and take care

[cotonh]

First of all I wish you happy birthday even though happy is not the way you are feeling. Birthdays are pretty wretched things to have when life feels depleted and miserable. I often defer my birthday and give myself a treat when I am in a receptive mood.

My husband suffers with long term depression which descends upon him for months at a time. The last bout lasted an extra long time and it took ages to find a anti-depressant that worked. Many of the anti-depressants seem to be counter-indicated for cardiac problems and the one my husband is on is no exception. We, the cardiologists and the psychiatrists have decided that as it lifted him from a very black place he will continue to take them.

When his physical symptoms are more pressing he looses confidence to go out or go upstairs and feels that he is going to die. He had been bearing feeling like this for several weeks recently. This week he is feeling different. It is a roller coaster we reluctantly ride.

Finding some further support seems a good thought. I am not in Colchester so can't help although I would think of doing a bit of internet searching of local charities, churches, National Trust properties etc. My husbands psychiatric team have 'enablers' who come to the house and take him out to things when he has lost confidence. In the past she and he have gone to discover a cookery class teaching older people to cook, gone for a walk around the block when he had stopped going out and sat indoors and played cribbage. He is waiting for a by-pass operation and we are going to tell the psychiatric team when we get the date and line her up to be in contact about a month after the operation. Another things I saw the other day was a 'telephone friend' but I am not sure who runs this or how to get it sorted.

[Lowerfield_no_more]

Be positive. First if you have survived for 12 months after your heart attack which is the high risk period and are now in a much better place than you were a year ago, at the time of your heart attack and certainly just before it, since you will no doubt be taking medication and perhaps have taken on board lifestyle measures all of which will have reduced your heart health risk. So ,again, be positive, take each day as it comes, stop worrying about something that may never happen, and enjoy your life, perhaps by taking on a new interest.

[baly_2023]

I really suffered from really bad anxiety in month after my heart attack. The symptoms the anxiety and resultant panic attack were similar and so just as bad as the heart attack, it was a vicious cycle.

My dad has had 3 heart attacks, his father, his brothers, his first cousins have all had them or had heart disease at young ages, so this also played on my mind.

I would be hesitant to go for walks by myself, go shopping by myself, drop my daughter of at school, be left alone at home with my daughter, drive the car , do excericse.

It was not good.

In the end I decided to set myself small daily challenges.

Drive round the block, extend this , them keep extending this.

Walking go down the street, then half way round the block, then around the block, then up that very steep hill.

I did this for everything that caused my anxiety, a small step, then build on it and celebrate it.

I also did cardio rehabilitation which was the ultimate game changer, ie doing excercises and seeing your heart rate hit highs which you were to scared to try, and realising you won't die from it.

You've got past a year, that's great! and something to celebrate, you're on medication which will protect your heart so find comfort in that.

It's a personal journey and I do believe it's up to us to find that resolve , find inspiration from others and go forwards.

I find others posts here inspiring, they may inspire you too.

[Sharpglo]

for what it’s worth Zed I am just coping because there is some hope that a biventeicular pacemaker will help my cardiomyopathy. I think we need to ascertain what will help,us to recover. I feel also we should all be given mandatory counselling. All the best.

[Comfs]

hello happy birthday!! don’t worry it’s completely normal I got told from a nurse that your mental health gets affected by it all after any sort of heart procedure.

I’ve had open heart surgery 4 times and I have had those thoughts for years now, you live every single day to the fullest. But getting help defiantly is a must, I got to therapy every month and see someone about it.

Finding a good support system really helps too like these sort of groups so you can talk about it so openly and get the support back.

I have a diary and I write in every day 3 things I’m grateful for which has helped for me trying to live more in the present moment and to not think about the negative.

When i got out of hospital 10 weeks ago after my last surgery you wouldn’t believe how much I cried and cried thinking I was going to dye young and not see my daughter grow up but it honestly just takes time.

You will get there you just need to take baby steps in trying to get your mind into a different place