So ive been back at work since April 4th and ive got up to about 8.5 hours a shift on my 4 on 4 off days nights pattern. My full hrs are 11.5 a shift normally.
Ive had a phased return and built my hours and tasks up gradually but i think i just cant hack this job anymore (train maintenance).
Its just too gruelling mentally as well as physically. Shifts have messed up my sleep patterns, walking 4 to 5 mikes a day and heavy work on top of that combined with the time pressures we have, and being made to feel like you are tossing it off and not doing your fare share by other staff and your TL and manager are all wearing me down.
Ive gone back to feeling crap all the time even on my days off. As i write now my brain is so fuzzy and my eyesight blurry just sat typing this message.
I havent had enough energy to go to the rehab classes or other activities and my resolution about eating healthy has almost completely gone out the window.
I havent been doing my regukar study for the other electrical course or doing the household chores regularly to take the load off my wife.
So after ive done this message Im going to speak to our occupational health nurse and see if I have any options to change my job within the business.
And if not Ive found several jobs online that Im going to send off applications for vacancies that have more normal shift hours and patterms and that dont expose me to so much stress, funes, oil, dirt and dust.
The trouble with our place they think just because I come to work eveey day and I can have a laugh with them in the office, it means Im also physically capable of doing what i did before.
Feeling tired after a shift is normal for anybody I guess but feeling like youre going to collapse from exhaustion isnt and then feeling terrible for days after isnt either. Its ruining my life in that respect, not having the energy or motivation to do anything after work or on my days off. It makes it feel like Im just living to work.
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BaronFrankenstein
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I’ve always resisted responding to your posts about work as I didn’t want to come across pessimistic but it seemed the decision you have now made or at least seeing what alternatives are out there was inevitable.
Hopefully occupational health will be open and supportive. Do consider ill health retirement if appropriate but needs doctor’s opinion. You may not be ok to do the job you currently have but you may be able to do something different.
Only you could arrive at this decision and I wish you the very best with finding a suitable alternative that suits your health, wider life and of course finances. It isn’t going to be easy but then having a heart condition isn’t either,
I was given ill health retirement as my condition became untreatable and won’t ever get better. And I sat on my proverbial at a desk for my work. But I get angina (and all the trimmings) with minimal exertion.
We all no doubt thought our lives would pan out a certain way but heart issues have a tendency to change all that / blow it apart - so it’s about finding a “new life” that works WITH your heart issue.
Thank you for your reply and i dont think youre being pessimistic by the way.
Im not as ill as yourself but it has become obvious that my current role is just too much for me now and id rather enjoy more time to myself than flog myself to death for the money. The momey is the main hook that keeps everyone on where I am because it is really good, but even people I work with who havent had a heart attack are struggling as they are getting older. Back, knee and shoulder problems are really common and mentally everyone comes away from work feeling battered, overworked and undervalued and the majority drink too much as a consequence.
Work has employee assistance programmes and private healthcare but thats just their way of saying its the individual thats the problem rather than how the business is ran. EAP is more of a token gesture so it looks like they care.
Id just like a light maintenence job now thats Monday to Friday and 8.5 hours. Or maybe go back into electronics rework or computing support. Like i say ive got some leads im going to apply for this week. Its a bugger as i dont want to go really because ive had 20 years there but ive got to face the reality of my situation now.
You have very technical skills, so something will come up and as you’ll not be putting yourself through hell physically everyday, some retraining / new qualifications maybe more achievable as a result. See it as a new opportunity rather than the end of something but that is not at all easy to do. So be kind to yourself which is what I think you are now looking to do. 👍
You have been offered very good advice by Fanfab1 . You have reached a sort of crossroads. You are apparently struggling to cope at work and certainly, in the short to medium term, that may not change and may even get worse as you ramp up to your contract hours. In most of your posts on here you have given me, and perhaps others, the impression that you don't enjoy your work, due to shift patterns, physical demands, unpleasant working environment, and management expectations, and that was also before your heart event let alone how you feel at present. I suspect you tough it out because the renumeration is a good package, but that is so because of the demands you find unpleasant. So it seems to me that you should be seeking an alternative, and diverting your energies into that, accepting that you may have to take a cut in salary, but that has to be offset against a worthwhile improvement in your health situation. Your planned meeting with the occupational therapist is a first good step to look at alternatives within your current employer, but I suggest you also re-invigorate your studies into your electrical engineering option if that is likely to provide a better working environment. Both of these being a way out for you from what is turning out to be a situation which will not improve, and may in the end have serious long term consequences for your health and well being.
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