Emotions over pacemaker

[Classic100]

Hello everyone. I am new to this site and this is my very first post. I would thank and appreciate any tips, help, persona experience and advice anyone has to offer in order for me to over come my issues with the pacemaker I have recently had fitted just two weeks ago.Although I appreciate this will make my life better in the long term I still feel very emotional about this and wonder if this is normal and had anyone else felt this way too. My main issue is I feel upset because I have something foreign in my body that I need to accept but this is proving hard for me. When I see the scar and stitches I feel sad that someone has cut my body and placed a foreign object in there to make me work a bit like a robot. I also feel sad, teary and not myself anymore. Also seeing and feeling this devise under my skin feels really weird and turns my stomach when I see it. I am hoping this will all pass in time but grateful for and replies people have to offer. Thank you

[Rosie1066]

I had a pacemaker implanted a few months ago and after a while your scar and stitches will hardly be visible. They fade very quickly unlike my scar from open heart surgery. I don’t get at all emotional about my pacemaker as I know it’s helping to keep me fit and healthy and alive, and to me that is what counts.

[Classic100 in reply to Rosie1066]

Hello Rose. Thank you for your apply very kind of you. Good to know the scar will soon fade and may not notice it a good few months from now. My sister says the same as you look at the pacemaker as giving a better life and much better quality life to. I guess the emotional side comes from me just having to accept it's there for the better and surly in time these emotions will settle down. Many thanks again for your reply

[Rosie1066 in reply to Classic100]

Give it time and I’m sure you will be absolutely fine. I don’t even notice mine now although sometimes it still feel a bit tight, but believe me a few months down the line and you will be quite happy with it and you have the knowledge that it is there for a good reason. Secretly , I hate touching mine too!

[Classic100 in reply to Rosie1066]

Thanks again for your reply Rosie very encouraging and very kind of you to reply. Yes, I really know what you mean when you say, I hate touching my pacemaker as I feel totally the same because it feels so weird.

[Rhinos67]

I had a replacement Aortic Valve April 22 and went into total heart block following surgery. As a result I needed a pacemaker.I was in ICU for 2 weeks until I was well enough for it to be fitted and even though I knew that I had to have it I really didn't want it.

For well over a year after I hated it and felt angry at my body for letting me down.

Another year on and I don't love it, but I'm grateful for this little piece of technology because with it I wouldn't be here.

My scar has all but disappeared however I still can't touch the area where it is.

My anger at my body has gone too. It gave me enough warning signs for me to seek medical help and for me that is huge. I avoid Dr's and hospitals as much as I can because of a phobia, but I knew something wasn't right and I fought my corner to get help.

In time things will get better for you

Joanne

😊

[Classic100 in reply to Rhinos67]

Thank you for your reply. This site has proven so helpful and I really appreciate all the help and support you and others have already given me, plus good to know I am not alone having these feelings. Thank you so much. X

[fantasyfanuk]

I had a pacemaker implanted as an emergency in 2017 and had all the feelings you describe. It was such a shock and although I knew it saved my life, it was hard to come to terms with. I arranged some counselling which helped a great deal but I was very disheartened when I continued to feel ill and eventually had a different type of pacemaker put in. It is bigger and nearer the surface than the first and I am always aware it is there, which I don’t like. But, and it’s a big but, I just wouldn’t be here without it and you do get used to it with time. Let things settle a bit and I’m sure you will feel differently soon. Hope things improve for you.

[Classic100 in reply to fantasyfanuk]

Thank you so much for your reply which has really helped and good to know it's not just me who is or has gone through these feelings . Xx

[Stent2024]

I haven’t got pacemaker , but had stent fitted in January, and I totally understand what you said about the foreign object being inside you . I think you’re conscious of it all the time . I hope you get some helpful advice from the members on here . Such a lovely bunch of people

[Classic100 in reply to Stent2024]

Thank you for your reply I really appreciate your support and encouraging words. This site is just to wonderful and so supportive and I thank everyone on this site. X

[Thorntrees]

Hi Rosie.

I had my pacemaker fitted in November last year.

I already had an ILR in the hope of finding the reason for episodes of fainting and in November it showed pauses of 20 secs plus so a pacemaker was the solution.

The procedure itself went well but like you I have found coming to terms with the idea of a device inside my chest very difficult and emotional.

It’s very hard to explain these feelings,I know the pacemaker is needed and am grateful for the skill and care of all involved.

It’s a comfort to know others also have these feelings and good to share experiences.Hopefully time will bring acceptance to us both.

[Classic100 in reply to Thorntrees]

Thank you so much for your reply these really help in knowing I am not alone with my feelings and hope we can all overcome these together. Xx

[BaronFrankenstein]

Hi.

I feel the same about my stent although i think im coming to terms with it. The idea of having a foreign object in my heart really scared me even though i know its helping keep my arteries clear. I also had similar feelings when i had my gall bladder removed, thinking that someone has been mucking aboutvinside my guts and now ive lost a part of myself.

I can understand your feelings towards having a device under your skin as people at cardio rehab showed us theirs and they are more obvious than i expected. But then again youve got to think that they are helping you keep going.

I think k its just a matter of time to get over the psychological impact. I thought for weeks that cos ive had a heart attack my life was going to be irrevocably changed but im doing most of the things i did before I had my HA now and I feel relatively normal. A bit better in fact as im getting more exercise and eating a bit better too, although i feel a bit fat this week but that may be water retention.

The thing that bothers me most is returning to work because i think its work that contributed to my heart attack in the first place.

But getting back to you i do think you will find over time you will not think about it so much as you start doing what you enjoy and getting back to normal. Its about turning your focus away from your health issue and trying to live life and liflve better.

[Classic100 in reply to BaronFrankenstein]

Thank you for your reply so very much appreciated. It really helpful to find many people on this site have had similar emotions as me with these matters and good to know I am not alone with my emotions and that others have felt what I am feeling presently. Thank you again for your kind words and support x

[readyabout]

Hi, I had a pacemaker fitted two weeks ago, and have similar feelings to you, emotional, a bit annoyed (anger is no good for you), why me? etc. I have found talking to others helps, as does humour, I was worried about bruising and healing, I have used Arnica both cream and homoeopathic for bruising, and for emotional matters Dr Bach Rescue Remedy always helps.

I am looking for somekind of 'protector' for sports, but they all seem very expensive, good luck

[Classic100 in reply to readyabout]

So nice of you to reply thank you for you advise on what to use for brushing etc very helpful. It has also been very helpful knowing I am not alone here with my emotions. You are also so right in saying anger feelings do no good at all and feeling why me after all deep down I know it was needed for better health. Many thanks again x

[Dragonfish]

Hi Classic 100, I have also been quite emotional and upset about having to have a pacemaker, and I think it is quite common to feel negative when it is your heart, and a foreign body is being placed there, especially if, like me you felt you were fit and healthy before and were not aware that you needed it until another health intervention caused the need for it to be identified. I had around a week to get my head around the idea and knew that going into the op with a negative view was not helpful for healing, I did my best to write down my fears and worries, ask lots of questions, and spent time in meditation and quiet reflection, kind of asking my body what it needed, if that makes sense. I was able to accept that I was grieving for the fit and healthy me that was no more, but that my body needed help to support my heart. This reframing has really helped me to accept the pacemaker and I seem to be doing well now. I had mine fitted 11 days ago. I also use homeopathic Arnica pills to help reduce bruising and swelling, which I think has helped. I hope over time you find a way to come to terms with it. Best wishes.

[Classic100 in reply to Dragonfish]

Thank you for your reply and hope your soon back to normal doing everything you did before your pacemaker was fitted. I am so hopeful of coming to terms with this in time. Your post has really helped me and I can't thank you and others on here enough. Best wishes