Its 5 weeks post HA and stent fitted and im starting to feel quite down and pessimistic. Mainly due to work cuttings my pay by 50% as ive been off work sick for a few months prior to my HA with sciatica.
I suppose im fortunate ive had full pay for this long as i have as many dont and i didnt have that in previous jobs.
Im challenging it though as i believe they have done it prematurely as colleagues of mine have had longer on full pay with lesser medical issues. I could do without the hassle though as its stress i dont need.
I think also its becuase although i want to get back into work i dont really want to go back to doing what i did before as its mostly to blame for my sciatica and HA.
I want real lasting meaningful change in my life, something positive and significant but feel stuck as how to go about it. Ive changed my diet and lost weight for starters which is good but I dont know how to proceed going forward.
I start cardio rehab classes Friday and im hoping that will help pick me up and give me some direction to go in. Ive been doing ok up until this week but i just feel like crying this morning.
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BaronFrankenstein
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from what I’ve read here and what my husband experienced, the rehab is v good.
There is legislation about work and illness to which your company must comply. Depending on whether the company is British or not and your contract of employment. Seek advice from Citizens Advice Bureau.
Locally they are a bit overwhelmed but stay with it and if you have to wait a few weeks to be seen it show worth it.
Your reaction to feeling down after major health issues which have and are continuing to keep you from work is quite understandable. And the longer it goes on I am sure the worse you will feel. Unfortunately I can't offer any help on that, except to suggest you keep talking to people close to you which I am sure you are doing already. As for your reduction in pay if you have not done so already I suggest you look at your employment Ts and Cs which will lay down what you are and re not entitled to. And again if you have not done so already, it might be useful to talk to your employer to explore whether there are any opportunities for you to return to work in a reduced capacity until something more permanent can be arranged for you, given that from this and an earlier post of yours you also believe you should be looking for something less demanding compared to your previous duties. Finally you might find that cardio rehab lifts your spirits a little since there will be professionals there who will be helping to give you direction on your recovery, as well as other HA victims to talk to, some of whom, unfortunately, will be in a worse place than you are for whatever reason, which is what I found out.
Hi , as mentioned definitely speak to the citizen advice bureau regarding your job as it sounds very unfair to me.
I truly believe the cardio rehabilitation will do you the world of good , especially on the mental health side.
I've mentioned it before but having a HA is a big issue and it takes time to deal with it but one thing that has helped me massively and I mean massively is the cardio rehabilitation.
I went from a shell of my former self to now my normal self and its only been 3 weeks since I started it.
Will the future hold any other issues? I don't know but no one does so it's best to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other and make steady progress and before you know it, you will realise how far ahead you have got.
I think youre right that once i start the cardio rehab on Friday i should start to feel better. My wife works full time and so should be able to carry the financial load whikst i am trying to get better.
What annoys me about my workplace is that you feel like it just uses you up and then when youre worn out and ill becuase of all the stress and heavy workload they just want to discard you , even though ive put in over 15 years now.
And also it seems the people with rhe big gobs who do the least get preferential treatment. Maybe its rime i got a mouth on me and did a bit of shouting.
I am trying to see this as an opportunity for change and I dont want it to slide by and just go back into a rut.
I shall give CAB a go as lots of people have said they're good.
I have been thinking about alternative career paths as ive for quite a varied number of skills and experience. But i think what ill do is give my old job a year or two , hopefully with adjustments to accommodate me, then make my move once Ive saved up enough money to cover the gap between one job and another.
I need to set some realistic goals. One thing id like to do is have a go at walking up Snowdon along the route the train takes. Ive done the miners path quite a few years ago.
I suppose to get anywhere you do lots of small things which eventually add up to a big thing. Keeping up my motivation has always been a problem for me.
You mentioned in your earlier post that you would be getting your trades union rep involved with a discussion with your employer. In my view that represents your best option if you intend to talk to someone. The union have the specialist resources to support you and will know the employer and/or others in the rail industry, which sounds better than getting a third party involved who knows little about you, what you do, or your employer. It is for that reason that you have been paying your union subs 👍.
Work, the world of work. One thing I've learnt is work will carry on regardless. Doesn't matter if you worked there 1 day or 20 years it's a machine that goes on and it's doesn't really care.
That might sound harsh but what I'm trying to say is do what you can to get the help and support you need from your employer but don't waste any emotional energy over them or arseholes in your workplace who make you feel bad, they are not worth your time.
Use that energy for yourself and your family, thats what's counts.
As you mentioned you have a set of skills and experience which can be used for many other paths, pursue these in th3 background ( but get well first!).
It's also great you have goals and Snowdon, that's an epic goal as it will be a cathartic experience.
I know I keep banging on about this to you, but I get it we all have to pay bills, we all work with and for idiots but Recover First, Get Fit Again, Get Mentally Strong again- That is your number 1 priority to your family and yourself.
I can see you are desperate to get going and Friday isn't too far away.On a positive note, if you are eager to get to rehabilitation you must have got some energy back and feel a bit more like yourself physically.
Another positive , you are also feeling up to taking on some mental challenges and have begun to think about your Quality of Life and getting the best help you can from work .
Third positive , you have changed your diet and have already begun to lose weight despite being less active so you must be doing a good job if making better food choices.
Fourth Positive , the combination of lifestyle changes and careful rehabilitation ( don't forget to tell them about the Sciatica) will help your Sciatic pain too in the long run.
Fifth Positive, you've found our forum and always have someone to talk to about how you feel whom will understand and give you advice from their experiences if you need some.
Why did I write this as a list of positives?
It's a good strategy to do this when you have the low days , and also write any positive step forward that you make in your diary, or to put as post it's notes on your wall or fridge so you can read them back when you are feeling depressed or fed up and remember how proud you should be of yourself and just how far you've come.
You are doing really well , just be prepared that you might still need to pace things a bit slower and patiently , because just like in the story , it's the slow steady tortoise that gets over the finishing line first not the hectic hare when getting over a big illness.
Thankyou Bee that has made me feel better. Ive been doing some tidying in our bedroom and ive been outside and put some rubbish in the bins, got some firewood in and rrst the cctv camera that halted.
Im going to have a rest day tomorrow with my wife then Monday ive got a follow up appointment about my sciatica and ill do some more sorting out of stuff for charity and selling. Decluttering is something ive got to do as it feels likenwe are being overwhelmed with stuff.
Decluttering can make you feel better , it's another positive step that shows you are looking forward and preparing for a new and brighter stage in your Life.Just remember though, you need to pace yourself and take physical activities a lot more easily with rest during jobs to keep feeling better consistently each day.
And don't forget to take care of your lower back when your are bending up and down or lifting things you don't want to set that nerve on edge. As an intermittent Sciatica sufferer I know it can be very painful and uncomfortable when it flares up.
I get where you’re coming through . I’m almost 2 weeks post stent , and sometimes don’t feel any better than I did before . It is scary and life changing for sure . You definitely get days where you feel down . Hope you get something from cardiac rehab , and things look up for you soon
Its early days yet for you as others have probably told you. I felt physically ill and extremely fatigued for a month with discomfort in my chest in the evenings and when i went to bed. I had a couple of painful angina attacks 2 weeks after my HA and stent as well. I still get tired but not as bad and the odd pain in my chest but nothing to really worry about. But i will rest if my body is telling me to.
But now in my 5th week ive really picked up physically at least. Its hard to imagine you will feel well again after a HA and stent because its such a blow psychologically to your self confidence.
Youre full of fear and doubts which are overwhelming. I am in a bit of a downer but thanks to the others in this group I am starting to feel more optimistic again and make plans for the coming week and the longer term.
Its important to talk about your feelings with others. I also have an app on my phone called Daylio that i use as a daily journal / dairy to dump my thoughts into and track my moods. It can help offload those intrusive thoughts and also plot your poitive thoughts and activities as well. Ive been using it for several years as i have suffered from mental health issues for 14 years slthough if you met me you wouldn't guess that as ive always been good at masking it and putting on a brave face for others around me.
My true self is in my journal app and notebooks ive filled throughout the years. Ive always found writing stuff down helpful in exorcising my demons. When ive been really ill mentally ive had to resort to drawing / doodling as I struggled to find the words to express myself.
Writing this has made me feel a bit better even.
Thankyou for your reply and I hope you start to feel better soon, you will. Just give yourself the time to do so and dont be afraid to just relax. I found it hard as i usually cant sit still and always want to be doing something.
I was lucky , in as much as I have stent but no HA , although when I was first sent to hospital in November , there was debate wether I had or not , as my troponin levels were so high , but ecg showed changes but nothing drastic , so they put it down to angina , but angiogram showed rca 95%blocked so stent put in . I also worry as a hive a very strong family history of cardia events , having lost my paternal grandfather , father and almost lost my brother too . I’m glad I joined this group though , because my hubby is trying to be supportive , but I think unless your the one living with it they don’t really understand , where as people on here have all different experiences so can help you more
Yes i find i sonetimes feel isolated in that my family and friends cant really fully understand what we are going through inside because theyve not got the same condition. As you say this is why this group is so important and also local support groups and the cardio rehab team and group exercise.
as i had to take early retirement due to my health issue, i can identify with your feelings to some extent - it can feel hopeless and endless
it took me a long time to learn that it is more effective, comfortable and encouraging for me to tackle a small manageable chunk at a time - so now i try to look at things in terms of steps i want to take to reach where i am goind and just try one, rather than take on the whole thing - that way i achieve a small success on my way to a bigger goal
so i wonder if a starting point for you might be some gentle stretching movements/exercises to help strengthen your back and reduce your sciatica problem - these are also helpful for you general health and wellbeing,so you are actually working on more than one front
you have a lot to deal with, and you have clearly already tried hard to make changes, but it does not all have to be done at once😊
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More palpatations than ever!
Advice needed again 😒
Essay rant alert
A little advice before i see cardiologist on Monday please. 
