1 year post heart attack

[Callie456]

It's now been 1 year since my unexpected HA and it's been a pretty bad year. Though I have improved with some things like walking, I remain tired and especially don't do well in the heat. It was 40 degrees here in Sydney Australia the other day. My mum and dog have both recently passed away and the prospect of life now I just don't know. Last Christmas I was just out of hospital and now this year the 2 most important people in my life are gone. I can't help wishing to be with them too and wondering if my previous HA means I'm going to have another one soon anyway. Feeling pretty down at the moment.

[BeKind28-]

Hello

When you are in the UK it is so hard to imagine when it is cold people are actually have heat like you are at the moment

I have found since my heart issues both heat and the cold air affect me and maybe more the heat in he Summer I think this is a common thing for quite a few of us

I am so sorry Christmas for some of us is not the most happiest of times like it is portrayed and when we are grieving like you are at the moment and our loved ones are not here it is very difficult and we can get very down and negative thoughts I even wonder if you are depressed which would not be a surprise if you were and I am so sorry for your loss

There are many of that life changing events seem to come all at once and it leaves us feeling like we just do not want to carry on it can feel so difficult and we just have to take a day at a time just because it is Christmas try not to put pressure on yourself you do not have to celebrate it if you don't want to you can do whatever you want see it as just another day it will be here and gone it is just a day which you can get through

I would talk with your Doctor as I feel you need some support feeling as you do and just because you had one heart attack really does not mean you are going to have another at all these thoughts I feel are coming as you are feeling so low which is understandable

Give yourself a Christmas present of any support you have where you are asking for it as you deserve it so much and if your Mum was here that is what she would want for you so do it for her

Remember a day at a time ask for support and give yourself time to get over all this pain you have been going through things will slowly start to feel better

Let us know how you get on x

[Callie456 in reply to BeKind28-]

Thankyou BeKind, I really appreciate your understanding and kind words. You are very wise and yes everything you say really resonates with me. I will talk to the dr. It's hard for me to let people know how bad I feel because I've always been the one looking after others. But you are right, mummy would want me to have support.

[BeKind28- in reply to Callie456]

Hello

There is nothing wrong in asking for help you as you say have helped others now it is your turn for others to help you

Please let us know how you get on x

[Weetabixie]

Sorry for your loss, I second the very sound advice and kind words of BeKind28-. The heat is something I cannot tolerate very well, in fact I I kind of fear it. But the grief you speak of resonates with me and perhaps with many here too. I hope you find the strength to reach out for support if you can and if possible a gp whilst you're feeling so low. I wish you the very best 🤞

[Wooodsie]

Hi Callie, I am sorry for you loss. It is very hard to suffer grief on your own. BeKind is right when she says you should seek support. Here in the UK there are a number of charities that help provide support and companionship to the berieved, perhaps there is something like that in Sydney? Worth having a look maybe. Have you thought about getting another dog? Not to replace your mum and your recent dog, but to give you some company and return the love you would give to him/her. Whatever you choose, I wish you the very best and hope you do feel better soon.

[Jackabee]

just sending you love and hugs. Be alive for your mum and dog, that is what they would wish for you. Honour them by choosing their favourite walks and things to do. Eat your mum’s favourite treats, enjoy them in her name. X

[Airlie37]

Hello Callie456My husband had an unexpected heart attack last year on Boxing Day and so his one year anniversary is coming up too,though he has recovered well he still gets incredibly tired.It seems to have been a long year but it also has gone so fast....if that makes sense?We are trying not to focus on the anniversary but it's looming there on the horizon.

I'm sorry to hear about the passing of both your Mum and your dog and can certainly appreciate how hard this is for you.

Please know you are not alone!

Could you maybe talk to your doctor about how you are feeling or are there any support groups?To be honest I've found this group to be very supportive of me even though I wasn't the one who had the HA.

Please take care xx

[abc1_2-3]

Hi Callie 456.In February it will be my 4 year anniversary since my HA & 7 stents. People describe me as positive & driven. However no one really understands what's going on in one's mind. Last year at this time I went to a carol service with my wife & some friends, I don't know what happened, but I got progressively more upset as the night went on. All the memories of past Christmas's with my parents (I have no relatives left) just got on top of me. By the time I got home I used my GTN spray for the one & only time since my HA. I had a pretty good nights sleep & felt fine in the morning, but I do reflect on that evening as a necessary moment in my recovery, this year I decided not to go!. We all have to work through difficult situations during our recovery, try & look on each day as a milestone, as previously mentioned your mum & dog wouldn't want you to be sad, easy to say I know, but concentrate on your future. We have a 15 month old black Labrador, he keeps us young😁

[Hidden]

Hi CallieSo sorry to hear how you feel and for the loss of yr beloved Mum and doggie x

I am 3 weeks into recovery for lifesaving valve replacement open heart surgery, its tough but im doing it for my family really

Yesterday we had our Christmas tree arrive and started to decorate, it looks so beautiful BUT the sight of it promptly made me burst into floods of tears, missing my Mum who I lost 2 yrs ago, that grief and the emotions of the op just bubbled up and over

I read a great book which may help you, its called Wintering by Katherine May and I found it very helpful in the grieving process

You have lots to live for but sometimes we just need to take life slowly in order to heal

Sending hugs from UK

[Dyllibobs]

Oh Callie456 I really feel for you, Christmas is such an emotional time for many of us especially when we've lost loved ones. It's 3 years 23rd December since I lost Mum & 12 months since I lost my 2 dogs. I really try to think about what Mum would say if she was still here & that would be to think of all the amazing memories that I have & be positive about the future. Take 1 day at a time & try to do something you enjoy doing. I do agree with beKind28 about seeing your Doctor & opening up with friends too. I'm sure you'll get the support you need from both. Do let us know how you get on 🫠

[Yogi1950s]

Hi Callie,

It is 2 years since my HA and 16 since losing my mum. The heart situation seems to get easier to accept/cope with (apart from extremes of heat or cold) and mum's passing becomes easier with each passing year but remains difficult as the anniversary approaches each year (14/12/2007).

Please remember that even though you are half a world away from the UK you are always near to a fellow hearty and someone who can chat on here.

Wishing you all best wishes at this time of year especially and going forward into 2024.

[Brht]

No I don't think it's meant for you to go. The times following a h/a are tough for everyone, the shock to the body and the mind is huge. I have days where it's hard both physically and mentally. You've suffered two big losses which will make things harder for you. It's also worse because of the time of the year.Just take one day at a time and remember all things pass. I've very little in the way of family left and am going away at Christmas to escape all the hectic jollity.

I've been trying to exercise a bit more each day and focusing on trying to get a little fitter bit by bit.

[TAVIshock]

Obviously a bad time, but try to stay chipper. Your Mum and Dog are a sad loss but can wait indefinitely for a reunion..

Tavishock

[maggie80]

Hello, try and be strong. You'll get there. Say to your self I'm going to be strong for my mum and her fury friend. Just take your time.

[Kimberly07]

hi Callie so sorry for your loss life is so hard at times. 5 yrs ago I had my heart attack and although it does get easier at times you don’t think it will. From my experience I went into a bad depression after my HA but got help from my doctor with antidepressants which did help. I’m off them now but the turning point for me was getting myself a little rescue dog who has been a god send. Although you probably aren’t ready for another little dog but seriously consider it I tell people although I rescued her she rescued me to it gave me a purpose to life. I live alone and the thoughts that run through my head at night scared me and every little pain or twinge I thought I was having another HA to be honest this sometimes still happens. HA s are truly life changing experiences but give yourself time speak with your medical team and tell them your feelings were all here for you to vent anytime. This site has helped me through many frightening times. Stay strong we’re all in this together x

[cappachina]

Dear Callie you have had a awful year and this Christmas will be very sad but things do get better as times passes You will always remember your Mam and dog with love and all the happy memories you have will bring you comfort You are still in the grievng process and still trying to process your heart attack its early days Energywise I had a aortic valve replacement via TAVI n April and I still get tired but I am 76

Follow the good advice you have had on here and I will hold you in my prayers Keep posting so we can support you

[Larivee]

You should consider locating a church. Many churches have support groups and a friendly and hospitable congregation. Talking to a pastor may help to change your perspective and find peace and comfort through Jesus. Not trying to preach but your faith will lift you up.

[gorillaqueen]

Hello Callie I agree with BeKind and others. It’s now time to take care of yourself, I do hope you are able to get the help you need and so deserve. I’m having opposite problem to you and struggling with the cold. I hope you feel better very soon. Good luck 😊X

[Smitty1956]

Hi, Callie456,

First, a huge congratulations on making it through the first year post heart attack and for feeling some better!! That, to me, is a major milestone—-you are on the right track. Plus, you are a younger woman who should live many more years and touch many more lives along the way.

I am very sorry that you lost both your Mom and your doggie during this year. That is absolutely sad and horrible for you. None of us can fully understand exactly how you feel right now, but we can try to understand and offer genuine concern and care for you.

BeKind28, and others on the forum, really said very well what we all feel. I certainly could not say my feelings any better. I think that we all would like to wrap our arms around your shoulders and give you a hug and say that things will be okay. Everything won’t be okay in a minute, but over the course of time, things will improve.

I live in America, so I had to convert your 40 degrees to the temperature scale that I understand. Then, I discovered that you are basically living in Texas (along the border) during the middle of August at 104 degrees. Wow! I used to live in Texas for several years, so I can understand that level of heat. Now, I live in a much colder region with temps below 20 degrees—- negative 6.667 degrees in your temperature. Like others have said, I don’t tolerate hot temperatures and cold temperatures as well as I did before my HA in March 2022.

The holidays can be difficult to navigate even when things are good, but you are dealing with so many things right now. Others have suggested that you reach out for support, and I agree. This could be an excellent time to start some counseling or to join a church or to return to church. I am retired now, have anxiety disorder, and don’t get out much. During the last three months, I have joined a book club at my local library. Each month, we read a new book and then meet once to discuss it. That has been a nice way to meet some new people and to have a reason to get outside.

Perhaps think about joining a group in the New Year. You might be able to volunteer once per week at a local elementary school to read with children, or perhaps at an animal shelter to walk a dog or two. This could give you interaction with others and a purpose. After all, we all need companionship and purpose in our lives.

I hope that you will be able to have a lovely Christmas and New Year. Perhaps you could visit with relatives, or friends for the holidays. Try to not spend too much time alone.

Remember: “This too shall pass. It may feel like a kidney stone while passing, but it too shall pass.” One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, one breath at a time.

Sending you a virtual hug! ❤️

[RailRover]

Hi Callie. You have a choice. You can wallow in "why me?" despair until it overtakes you and your thoughts of your own demise become a self-fulfilling prophecy, or you can take life by the scruff of the neck and think positive. I was told this truth many years ago by a man whose wife had committed suicide, and I tried to apply the wisdom to my life after having my own "unexpected" heart attack.

There is support around, like this site, but only you can make the change, and you are the one that it matters the most to. I'm not going to preach about what you should do. It's up to you, but I sincerely hope that you make the right choice.