So another working week spent at home which I am finding most odd and really missing the work banter (not missing the actual work though)!
Has everyone had an ok week? I'm definitely feeling a little better each day physically but mentally and emotionally still struggling and can't turn that frown upside down. I know this is 'normal' but wonder how long it will last? Feels odd not going to any of the usual Christmas festivities although having early Christmas dinner with my sister and her family tomorrow - feel safe just going there but definitely don't fancy sitting in a restaurant or pub. I'm 50 at the end of January so I do hope I feel like my normal partying self by then!
early days still, the emotional side is difficult to come to terms with does get easier though. I know what you mean about trying to smile, for me last year was 6 or so weeks post op, i know I was miserable but really don't remember too much about Christmas, aside from not being able to taste things.
End of Jan you will be different, you will venture out more gain confidence from that plus you'll be feeling better and notice the improvement as well.
I know what you mean about work, wouldn't be so bad if there was anything worth watching on telly!
I'm not too bad emotionally most of the time, but I still get chest pains (mainly the sternum) and discomfort at night on the pacemaker side. I also get out of breath easily and tire quickly.
I haven't bought anything for Christmas and not made any cards yet, just can't summon the energy, shame cos I've got some lovely Christmas card stuff this year. We're having a quiet Christmas at home - just the two of us and six cats.
I'm hoping to get back to work at the end of January.
Hope you start feeling better soon and have a good weekend.
Telly! There is some good stuff nestled amongst the crap. What sort of show do you like?
On BBC, Detectorists is a great subtle comedy series. Motherland is most amusing, especially to parents. Storyville never fails to be interesting and there are so many topics to choose from. I've never seen a bad one. Louis Theroux also has some shows on iplayer at the moment if you do enjoy documentaries. I thought the one about transgender children was really interesting. Hairy Bikers Home For Christmas is a surprisingly lovely bit of seasonal fluff. Howards End was quite a nice drama. Only Connect is good if you want to stretch your brain.
C4 has Kirstie's Handmade Christmas DAILY. I love it but do appreciate that some people couldn't tolerate Kirstie. There's a programme called Lost And Found that is all about dogs who are in need of a home etc, which I'm sure would appeal to many animal lovers here.
Back to the BBC, Countryfile last weekend had an amazing segment about alpacas and a bit about hedgehogs. Definitely worth watching!
I get paid to watch TV in my day job, by the way, in case you are confused by the variety of my viewing! I get to see lots of random stuff, so feel free to tell me your preferences and I'll let you know if I've seen anything I could recommend
I want your job! I love the Hairy Bikers thing and Island Medics (after BBC Breakfast) is becoming my must see of the day. Also ploughing through my Downton Abbey box set and re-watching Gavin and Stacey which really makes me chuckle on my daughter's Netflix account. My guilty pleasure is Easties (sorry lol) much to the disgust of the rest of my family and I LOVE Doc Martin. We holidayed in Port Isaac just after my mum died last year only 5 months after my dad and I found it so beautiful and therapeutic after such an awful few months. Would recommend it to anyone.
Hi Hidden , after reading your post I just wanted to say I really hope you don't feel too down over Christmas. This time of year is difficult for so many people for different reasons but it must be frustrating, especially when you feel you can't go out and enjoy yourself with your colleagues. Luckily...it's pretty miserable weather at the moment so staying in the warm with family and friends might not be the worst thing!
If you do feel like speaking to someone, here's some useful contacts for support over Christmas: bhf.org.uk/heart-matters-ma...
Hope you have a lovely weekend and really hope 2018 gets off to a good start for you
Thank you all.. I'm really trying to snap out of it as despite everything i do realise that it could have been a lot worse! At least I'm going to get better and many don't xx
Hi Claire, I really feel for you being out of the loop at this time of the year. I'm someones who'd do almost anything to get out of a work night out, but it's rubbish to feel like you're not able to join in.
I absolutely love the run-up to Christmas, all the hustle and bustle of preparations, but I haven't entirely been feeling it this year and I'm also looking forward to January - I am missing my routine and know I am not making the best lifestyle choices at the moment. My plan is to cut myself some slack for the next couple of weeks and then do my best to make 2018 a great year, in every way possible. I do feel like 2017 has been pretty good, so I'm looking forward to building on that. Always learning!
Hope you enjoy your early Christmas dinner and the season overall x
I think you are doing brilliantly. Being patient isn’t easy but just lie back and go with the flow. This too will pass and as others have indicated you will feel better in the New Year.
Hi Claire, please enjoy being at home, having lie ins, not feeling guilty for being snuggled up on the sofa watching tv, because it will soon fly by.
I’m 20wks post op, had to get up at 4am to go too work, it was freezing and had to de ice the car, I’ve just got home, having a cuppa while I write this, then it’s housework time, walk the dog, do the washing, write Xmas cards, life gets back to normal pretty quick, and folk around you at home and work quickly forget what you’ve gone through, you look normal but inside I still struggle, I don’t really talk about it except on here, because some people especially at work may ask how you are, but you can tell they don’t really want too know, and one remarked “ well your better now “ and “ you’ve had most of the summer off “ yes and I wasn’t sat on a beach somewhere drinking cocktails 🍸 and this is from someone who takes time off because their nose is running and they have a headache 😂 I’m treated like the new girl even though I’ve been there the longest and can do the job blindfolded.
So enjoy not doing nothing, enjoy not feeling guilty about doing nothing,
Because it will all change very quickly. I’m so glad you are recovering. I did warn you about the black cloud you just can’t seem to shake off and the upside down smile, I have started to have the odd day when I feel like the old me, we are still out there, just got too wait for our hearts to reconnect it self, after all it’s been through a pretty good battle.
So I hope this puts a smile on your face even for a little while. I’d better get going, try not too wear the sofa out 😂 you lucky girl 😂 😂 😂 Kaz 💓💕💖
Kaz, you make perfect sense. Yes, I'll be back at work before I know it. Think it's 15th Jan.
Feeling brighter today, the sun is shining, just walked to Next nearby and about to tackle some present wrapping.
Made me laugh your description of your colleague who is off with a sniffle. Every workplace has one! I'm an admin manager for local government and we take turns answering the sick line. Funniest one I had lately was that the dog was sick in the night and the person had broken sleep so couldn't come in!
I’m in the same boat having daily heart ops at the moment while recovering from a major heart op and awaiting another heart op in a few years time when it’s safe. It’s scary and Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas this year,
I know what you mean and yes it’s not going to feel “normal” for a while. I’m still opting out of doing things because I just don’t feel confident like my old self. Having said that I did opt to go on a major holiday with the family to Borneo (where I am currently) ... I didn’t want to go really due to the long haul and stress of travelling with 3 kids etc but I’ve done so to test myself and prove that I can do it. I tell myself that if I can get through this then it will set me up nicely for 2018.
Try not to beat yourself up over your choices and just do the things you feel comfortable doing if that’s what makes you happy. Why put pressure on yourself to be your old self?
This Christmas I would just keep things low key and maybe just do the essentials so that you don’t feel you’re missing out completely.
Christmas in Borneo isn’t the same obviously, but I’m not the same person either now so I’m still adjusting. And I’m still opting out of things here on holiday - like turning down that alcoholic cocktail for a virgin one and not having the fried rice and going for boiled instead! Lol
Hi Claire, I am pretty new to this site and thought you sounded quite positive despite struggling emotionally.I am feeling pretty much the same 7 weeks post unexpected HA and emergency bypass.I am missing work so much and not sure I will be able to return . My work was a major part of my life,like you missing festivities although my colleagues taking me out next week, hope my smile is the right way up for then 😀
Hello 😊. Yeah I try to be positive, one of life’s ‘glass half full’ people but I’ve have some difficult spells. What gets me through is knowing it will pass and I try to distract myself.
Do hope you enjoy your do with your colleagues. I’m hopefully going to my works so Thursday evening 😊
Hi. I had a bicuspid aortic valve (from birth) but only found out about it 4 years ago. It was replaced with a mechanical valve 4 weeks ago today. My ascending aorta was damaged too and something was done to that. A graft I think. I wasn't on any meds prior to the op but now on warfarin and iron tablets.
I’m 6 week’s post op and had complications from week 2. Just starting to feel a little better.
Feel for you being out of the work social scene and everything you would normally be doing this time of year.
From your post you mentioned you sadly lost your parents recently in a short period of time. I can’t imagine going through this and recovering from such a major operation.
I lost my parents 6 years ago within 8 months of each other. I’m so sorry for your loss and couldn’t imagine going through a major op so soon afterwards. Go with the flow don’t try and please other people do what feels right for you. Perhaps a talking therapist or meditation (you tube have some great ones you can download and listen to). Check in with your GP if you have a good one explain what’s going on. This is a difficult time of year to recover as everyone’s expectations are so heightened. Remember this is a drop in the Ocean and in 4 week’s you will be so much improved. Take care much love Lisa x
Thank you so much for your reply Lisa. Yes, it's been a difficult couple of years but I'm generally one who takes it all in her stride.
My mum and dad knew that I would have to have this surgery one day and I remember my mum (she had Parkinson's) being more worried about me the day before she died than she was about herself. Bless her.
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How are others feeling after becoming pacemaker dependent? 
Thanks everyone for your replies…..
ICD/pacemaker feeling the cold?
Still feeling rubbish 
Why do i feel like a Failure and a fraud
