Fear of Dying : Hi, I had a heart... - British Heart Fou...

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Fear of Dying

Dougal77 profile image
82 Replies

Hi,

I had a heart attack back in April 2022 at the age of 45 resulting in having 4 stents.

I have had this overwhelming feeling that I am going to die leaving my two young sons without a dad.

I have also recently been diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

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Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77
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82 Replies
Lcfc85 profile image
Lcfc85

hi, sorry to hear about your heart attack at a young age. Although I’ve not had a heart attack but I do suffer with chest pains and currently undergoing tests etc and have been for last 5 years and told it’s ok apart from a possible right side chamber pressure problem. I also suffer from anxiety which was very bad when my close mate died from a heart attack and use to think the same as you that I would drop dead and die and leave my 2 children without a dad. This would take over my life and stop me from enjoying the times with my children and having panic attacks.

You need to get your anxiety under control. Breathing techniques are really good. Look up the fight and flight mode. Positive mindset aswell. Don’t try and predict the future as this will only make matters worse. Put yourself in the NOW. What is happening right now and not what you think might happen in the future as you can never predict this.

Also when you feel you are in a panic mode or anxiety attack give this a try:

5 things you can see: Your hands, the sky, a plant on your colleague’s desk

4 things you can physically feel: Your feet on the ground, a ball, your friend’s hand

3 things you can hear: The wind blowing, children’s laughter, your breath

2 things you can smell: Fresh-cut grass, coffee, soap

1 thing you can taste: A mint, gum, the fresh air

Let me know how you get on 😊

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toLcfc85

Thank you for this, I will definitely give this a go and let you know.

Jazz100 profile image
Jazz100 in reply toLcfc85

My hubby had his first heart attack at 49…we had two young children at the time. He recovered really well….fast forward 22 years and he needed a triple bypass. He is still here being a great dad to our two children…in fact he is due to walk one down the aisle in June this year.

My advice would be to take one day at a time…enjoy your boys and know you will be with them for many years to come. Xx

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toJazz100

Thank you for this encouraging message.

EU95PTM profile image
EU95PTM

Yes, I have! I had a heart attack in April 2022 although I had 1 stent, not 4. It was a stemi so the worst type of heart attack and I’m also relatively young at 51. I have similar thoughts too, very regularly in the early days but not as frequently now although they do still occur. Have you done cardiac rehab? This is really helpful in regaining confidence in what you can do, I found it really supportive but was conscious that I was the youngest one there. I’ve also had counselling to help me deal with the trauma. It’s a life changing event and one that will take a long time to come to terms with.

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toEU95PTM

Hi,

I did a bit of rehab but not enough so will try and get booked in again.

Do you have twinges in your chest?

EU95PTM profile image
EU95PTM in reply toDougal77

The occasional twinge, yes. I’m hyper-vigilant these days.

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toEU95PTM

what do you do when you get them?

DiggyDoggy profile image
DiggyDoggy in reply toDougal77

I had a heart attack 3 years ago. The 1st year was very stressful, feeling worrying twinges regularly. I called 111 x3 over that year, went to A&E each time- where they found out I was fine. After that I began to learn what twinges were normal and my anxiety levels, whilst still there, are a small fraction of what they were. Over time, you too will likely adapt as you learn what is normal for you.

To sum up, right now you are learning what is your new normal. I suggest that if you are really worried one day, call 111 and they will get you thoroughly checked out, and then you will know if that particular feeling in your cheat is something to get all upset about or not.

Valentino1XXX profile image
Valentino1XXX in reply toEU95PTM

Good Afternoon Douglas. I have died 4 times due to cardiac arrest and then on the 5th time I collapsed due to not having enough oxygen to my brain.

Yes I totally understand you.

I have a fear of dying knowing that I can again at any time.

I have a Beautiful Son who will turn 17 on the 20th of January.

Regards

Michelle

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toValentino1XXX

I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through.

Valentino1XXX profile image
Valentino1XXX in reply toDougal77

Douglas unfortunately it is what it is.But I worry so much for what is literally out of my control.

I can die at any moment.

That hurts.

Regards

Michelle

in reply toValentino1XXX

Wow that is something..x

Valentino1XXX profile image
Valentino1XXX in reply to

Good Morning toTheonethatgotaway

Thank you

BB99 profile image
BB99

Hello Dougal.I had a heart attack when I was 46 and have numerous stents, a triple bypass and take ten medications every day. I also get quite anxious. But on the positive side I'm now 64 and not expecting to peg out any time soon. Modern medicine is a wonderful thing and I have a feeling that we'll both be taking advantage of it for a good long time yet.

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toBB99

Thank you, I do take some comfort from your response.

Fish4Info profile image
Fish4Info in reply toBB99

I'm in a similar boat to BB99 . Urgent CABG × 4 at 47, 16 years ago. I was then a single dad to sons aged 18, 16 and 14 - and the eldest had just finished his first term at uni. I kinda resolved that I had no current plans to die, as Mum was dealing with her own issues and not really in any state to cope with other peoples' issues. She couldn't really cope with boys on her own - not because of the boys - but her own stuff.

Having resolved that I had no current plans to die, I reset my priorities: family first and maintain a proper life-work balance. I'm pretty sure it contributed to me losing my job when I got a new boss ... and he tried to bully me.

When I was put on gardening leave I decided to go to tend my aunt's garden in Tasmania ... and had a 2 month round the world trip.

I suspect I'm poorer than I could have been ... but I've had 16 pretty happy years. The last of my 3 sons will be getting married in April and in the last 5 years I've got 5 lovely grandchildren.

I'm kind of semi-retired. I have a part time role that could vanish tomorrow ... but it is right up my street ... and I can cope with the uncertainty.

Really I think it's worth reassessing your life plans, live for today, but make contingency plans for your kids, if you need to ... assuming you have family and friends who will only be too happy to help if they need to. With plans in place, maybe it will give you the confidence to live more ... without the accompanying anxiety.

Go for it ... my friend. 😀

Sodp profile image
Sodp

Hi Dougal77 . I had 4 stent put in Sept 22 at the age of 44. Quite fit never smoke and non drinker , quite active and eating moderately. Never expected. I felt the same not so much now. I didn't have a HA. How ever I feel anxious sometime and ask why me ?when I feel any pain and it will send me in panic mode It scared me while I was in a hospital for 7 days as they had to wait as I went through emergency with chest pain and breathlessness . Did my rehab, dietitian program and also counseling. It did help in a way but in rehab I was the youngest one and fittest and who lived active life and eating moderately that raise even more questions. However slowly I am trying to think positive and start planning for future that helped. Also slowly getting back into things I like.I

think in a way we are lucky we are under monitor and modern medicine bis helping us , I am trying to exercise more eat better and follow all medicine prescribed and follow up with cardiologist regularly and do best we can. From forum can tell many of us have gone through this and lived healthy and happy life that gives me some hopes.

Go to rehab, seek counseling and do yoga and meditation may help. Get back into things you did before and hopefully will all lived to see our kids grow into adult.

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toSodp

Thanks mate, I appreciate your response.

Lcfc85 profile image
Lcfc85 in reply toSodp

I think any chest pain would make anyone anxious as it takes us by surprise. What type of pain was you getting and how bad was your breathlessness if you don’t mind me asking

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toLcfc85

It’s more twinges than actual pain, my breathing seems fine but it wasn’t too bad when the attack happened.

Lcfc85 profile image
Lcfc85 in reply toDougal77

ah ok. The body is such a complex thing. I have pains daily and keep thinking there must be something they can do but just being told it’s all ok apart from the elevated pressure in lower right chamber and I’m put on the list to see the cardiologist so just have to wait

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toLcfc85

12 months ago I didn’t stress about any aches or pains but now I panic over any little thing.

Lcfc85 profile image
Lcfc85 in reply toDougal77

understandable, try manage that stress and anxiety. That’s what I’m currently doing. That’s all we can do. Don’t dwell on the what ifs

NLGA profile image
NLGA in reply toDougal77

I had twinges all over my chest when I was on Amiodarine

Prada47 profile image
Prada47

Hello I had a Heart Attack in 1982 aged 34 I then lived and worked across the World. in some pretty remote locations. 2015 I saw my GP who said " it's been a long time since you have had an ECG " so I had an ECG in the surgery that was 2015 so 33 years after the Heart Attack and in those 33 years I had No medication not even an Aspirin.

To cut a long story short the ECG went to Cardiology who arranged an appointment so I had an Exercise Test, Echo, and Angiogram. The cardiologist said I needed stents and then came back with you need bypass surgery. Then came a little surprise I will put you to the Surgeon with the shortest list !!! Fast forward to 2018 and we had moved house and country Scotland to England my new GP said I seemed short of breath so Cardiologist said I needed an Angiogram, result I needed two stents in my bypassed LAD which was done in 2018. Then 2022 I was getting pain in my left arm Cardiologist said after an MRI I think the stents in your LAD maybe a little to small so another Angiogram with PCI on standby during this Angio he said with your consent I would like to open your native LAD ( which had been bypassed ), fine by me and since this procedure in May 2022 I have been pretty good. I do have moderate Heart Failure with an ef of 38% which is not to bad so just soldier on and at 75 I am relaxed about the future.

Now why have I given you this History because it shows it is possible to still have a future even though problems may still occur. Just think if you had been in my shoes and worrying about the future for 40 years you would be a wreck. I know it's not easy but you have no alternative to overcoming your fears or life may start to become intolerable. Hope this helps you a little.

Best Regards

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toPrada47

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Your words have really made feel better and more hopeful for the future.

I am sorry to hear you have heart failure but I am inspired about how positive you are.

Ewloe profile image
Ewloe

hi I had a stemi and then a cardiac arrest as I was being wheeled into the hospital at 59yrs, ( I don’t have a fear of dying as I had a nice near death experience). That’s 18 months ago now. It’s left me with 2 arrhythmia’s and muscle damage. I have 1 stent

I will say the mental side of things has taken a long time to adjust to. I’ve had rehab and counselling. The counselling definitely helped. The whole life changing situation left me with generalised anxiety and after discussion with my electrophysiologist we decided on medication as well. It’s taken me about 14 months to feel like me again.

I was very fit before this and I now swim, do Pilates, walk and do some gym. Not to the same extent as previous but more than a lot of people who haven’t had a heart attack.

It’s not a death sentence!!!! You can make plans for the future and live. Give yourself time and get back to rehab ask them about counselling as they might be able to refer you. I went private as the wait for nhs counselling was massive in my area.

Ewloe profile image
Ewloe

ohh I also get chest twinges and aches a lot of which is definitely anxiety related. I noticed how they improved when i started with getting help for the anxiety.

Sodp profile image
Sodp in reply toEwloe

Ewloe 4 months Post stent still suffering from the anxiety..I have started my walk and resistance training.. lots of muscular pain and some pain can send me to anxiety and start getting more pains..How do you distinguish if that pain is heart or anxiety?

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toSodp

This is just it, I can’t tell the difference. I have been back to A&E three times since it happened.

Ewloe profile image
Ewloe in reply toSodp

i try and objectively think about the pain. Is it fleeting? Does it move? Is it worse if I move in a certain way? If I get it when I’m exercising does it go away if I continue to exercise?

I think it was Jeannejeannie on here that posted a chart of looking at the pain/discomfort. I’ve tried to find it or Jeannejennie ( as I’m not sure if that’s the right spelling), but I can’t sorry. Hopefully she might see this and reply. That’s really good at categorising the pain.

It’s only as I’ve put the anxiety it it’s box that proved to me that a lot of the twinges and discomfort is anxiety related.

Realistically my fleeting pain or twinges are less likely to be a heart attack and I would sit in bed and move in certain ways to see if I could provoke the pain. As physically moving to provoke it is more likely to be muscular.

There’s a big but here. We’re all different and I’m not a cardiologist or doctor. I can’t diagnose your pains i can only say what works for me. I’d really look at counselling for the anxiety. If you go private shop around as the price can vary considerably. I paid £45 à session. Good luck

Sorry for waffle 😂

Bubby1973 profile image
Bubby1973

Yes I had a heart attack in February 2022 at 48😐. I only have 1 stent and numerous little scares along the way that resulted in more tests. I still have this feeling I'm going to die quite often and leave my 8 year old daughter without a father . It must be caused by the trauma of actually having a heart attack.

It's still a little extra scary for me because I live in Finland with my Finish wife ( I'm Canadian) and I don't speak the language well enough to get enough information as to what I should do 🤣.

Anyway it's a scary feeling your having but your not alone.... Cheers!

Samazeuilh2 profile image
Samazeuilh2

There is a helpful article and some links (at the foot of the article) here:

bhf.org.uk/informationsuppo...

Allyboy1973 profile image
Allyboy1973

I Had a Heart attack when i was 40 and had the same feelings the thought of not being here for my wife and 3 daughters scared me . If i died would they remember me would they get by as i was the main earner of money . My stents never worked so ended up with a double bypass at 40 aswell and im glad to say im going into my 50 year and haven't looked back though at the time and for a few years after i had the feeling of dread . I think its only normal for it to mess with your head .

Scroll profile image
Scroll

Hi there

Heart attack and stent fitted left vent in Auguat at the age of 57.

Yes occasionally get scarey thoughts.

Every twinge you wind guess.

If it gets really bad my routine is watch to look at pulse, run an ecg on it, do my bp, go outside short walks deep breaths.

Posted else where in here I had very good news really before Christmas over my recovery but still get little wobbles.

It is all to common and understandable, it’s little coping mechanisms.

Good advice from folks here wish you well. Take the time to breathe and focus

SRDS profile image
SRDS

Hi.

My husband had a heart attack last year at the age of 42. He did a quadruple bypass surgery. I can tell you that it is natural and normal to feel like this. It is ery important to talk to someone you can. We still feel scared especially when we had to go to A and E with a chest pain. It felt like PTSD.

Talk to someone whenever you feel low. And try to count your blessings. That will hopefully help.

We are also here to listen to you. So do not feel that you see alone.

Shaivi

Batandball41 profile image
Batandball41

I thought I’d reply as some of what you say I can relate to.

Firstly I was hospitalised about 12 years ago whilst working in Italy . I thought I was dead but it turns out it was a panic attack.

It took me years to get over it ( I retired early as work was my biggest issue) but I faced death in my mind every day !

Strangely enough about the time I had my first panic attack I lost feeling in a toe on my left foot. Roll on 10 years and that loss of feeling had spread to both feet and lower legs. I did have painkillers but I weaned myself off them as I got horrible nightmares .Yes it is peripheral neuropathy.

Anyway my latest is my BP was raised which in my mind meant I was dead! I’m on medication now and coming to terms with things. I’ve learnt that my BP wasn’t as high as many report and it’s under control.

Anyway I’m sharing this with you as I understand your fears and wish you well .

Cleo1984 profile image
Cleo1984

Hi

Like you I have a constant fear of dying. Its horrible. I had a stent Oct 20, and still feel thus way. Get a lot of twinges, aches and pains which dont help me, as told everything looks fine, you will have to manage these pains, much easier said than done. I am waiting on a clinical physcologist. But until then after numerous bouts of councilling. I just take deep breaths. Good luck

AS90 profile image
AS90

If I feel the anxiety starting I hold water in my mouth. It really works!

Grayjay profile image
Grayjay

Yes, 30 years ago after my first heart attack. Treat it as a new lease of life.

Heartfairy profile image
Heartfairy in reply toGrayjay

Hello Grayjay - as a gentleman who had a heart attack 30 years ago, what did you change over the years or start doing in order to prevent another? Please give some encouraging advice to me as I am wondering how to prevent another one. I am so happy for you that you had the one and only - well done you young man ❤️🧚🏼‍♀️

Psychcloud profile image
Psychcloud

Hi Dougal77.I'm sorry to hear about the traumatic time you've had. What a shock to the system; not easy to get your head around.

I just wanted to reach out to offer a bit of advice that may help.

Firstly, as others have said, the cardiac rehab programmes are great and if you can attend this thar might be useful.

However, you might also want to check out your local IAPT (improving access to psychological therapies) service where you can usually self refer online.

They can assess your anxiety and offer talking Therapies to help you live your life after what has happened.

Ask your GP for advice too.

Well done on acknowledging the anxiety- that's the hardest part. I hope you get the help that's right for you, so you can live your life to the full with your family.

I wish my Dad had reached out and accessed further support after his widowmaker HA and then his cardiac arrest as I often wonder how he managed alone with those awful thoughts. But he wasn't one for opening up, despite our closeness and me being a cbt therapist!

All the best 😊

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toPsychcloud

Thank you for your message and advice, it’s much appreciated.

Brolly12 profile image
Brolly12

Apologies I haven’t had time to read all previous replies - but want to encourage you. My dad had a heart attack at the age of 48, and stents. I worried all his life- he just passed away at age 82 not from any heart problems ! It’s only natural to worry but the chances are you will live a long happy life - your cardiologists are monitoring you. Best wishes

PeteSand profile image
PeteSand

Hi

I had a big heart attack back in Jan last year and had to have a stent and am now waiting for an appointment to have a Defibullator fitted in my chest which I am told don't worry about it is just a precaution. I do worry a lot like you that I am going to have a repeat and die or when i go to bed I wonder if maybe i wont wake up , most people tell you not to be so daft you will be fine but i bet you most people on this site feel the same and if anyone has any ideas to help with this feeling then there are quite a few of us who would love the advice

Lcfc85 profile image
Lcfc85 in reply toPeteSand

sorry to hear about your heart attack and worries. I think the big word here is ‘wonder’ this being a term used for something that’s not happened. I’m a big sufferer from anxiety and I did think like that. I wonder if I’ll wake up, I wonder if I’ll die today etc. having had counselling I was told this is just a negative way to look at things and it will only make us worse it the way we think and panic. We can’t dwell on the what ifs because that’s not happened. We can’t predict the future no one can. Live in the now. I do find meditation really helpful especially before bed time as it settles my anxiety and gets me off to sleep without these thoughts.

Green1964 profile image
Green1964

hi sorry to hear about your heart attack it sounds like your suffering with anxiety I too suffer with it and it as consumed my life every day I had a heart scare one stent and have four children I have the same fear that I’m not going to live and it affects your daily life but on a positive note try to take the positives yes you had a heart attack but u survived it and it sounds like they have sorted the issue out with the four stents and most people can have a long productive life someone said to me at least u was able to get the problem sorted there must be many people walking round like a ticking time bomb unaware that there going to have a heart attack or die so it’s better to know the devil and live your life yer it is easy for people to say try not to worry anxiety is a terrible thing and hard to control and I’m still trying to control mine but as my brilliant cardiologist told me when I talked about my fears he reassured me and told me if he had found any other issues he would have fixed them and said you go out and enjoy your life and enjoy your children I will look after your heart so the main thing is your still here take things a day at a time take your meds and if the anxiety starts to get to much then like you have done I found this wonderful community full of people so happy to give you advice even when there having there own problems there brilliant and in 10 years time who knows what further treatments will be available take care and hope everything works out for you kind regards Andrew

Knit4fun profile image
Knit4fun

sorry to hear about your HA so young. Sounds to me perfectly normal to feel how you do. I went through the same anxiety for over a year. Make use of all the rehab offered as it wasn’t available to me due to covid. You will start feeling better but it takes time.

Valentina98 profile image
Valentina98

Hey Dougal

I can't offer much advice other than what's been given.

I just want to say I know what it feels like to have a heart attack so young, and to feel scared of dying.

Sending love

V x

Dexter19 profile image
Dexter19

Hi Dougal I had a heart attack in 2019 & a double heart bypass in 2020 at the age of 48 . It does change your perception on life . Take time to do the things u want to do , love those around you . I also have neuropathy due to my type 1 diabetes

Dadtoalad23 profile image
Dadtoalad23

No heart attack but diagnosed with CAD with moderate burden in the LAD mild in circumflex. Enlarged left atrium and atrial fibrillation. 47 years old slim and fit runner and surfer .

Apart from heart palpitations I had zero symptoms. Now on a tonne of pills trying to get my head around my potential to drop down dead at any minute.

I’ve just started therapy. Think most heart patients feel the some sort of mortality based anxiety and depression. I hope to conquer this feeling, as I’m not dead yet and worrying about it isn’t, one going to help me or my heart and two isn’t living in the mean time.

Good luck mate. Totally feel the same. I have a ten year old son who i want to be around for mentally and physically.

Fuggs profile image
Fuggs

Check out nitric oxide on a reputable you tube site.👍

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toFuggs

What does that treat?

Qualipop profile image
Qualipop

Oh my that was young to have a heart attack but your feelings are perfectly normal. I'm much older than you but had a heart attack and two stents totally out of the blue, 4 years ago. All my life my health had mirrored my mum's exactly but about 3 years after her for each condition. She died of heart disease at 67 so when I approached 70 I got really worried - with good reason so it shouldn't have been a surprise but it hit me like a thunderbolt. My family history should have warned me but my G P had never asked. My son was still relatively young so I really worried how he would cope and I struggled with suddenly realising that we are not immortal. I had though I lived a pretty healthy life until I Looked at they cigarettes, the crisps, cakes and pies my husband insisted on and it suddenly hit me that, unlike my mum, I'd been given a second chance. I really wish my son would learn from my experience as he's massively overweight. I was lucky not unlucky. I decided to make the most of my new life. I wasn't allowed to go to cardiac rehab because I'm in a wheelchair and the nurse decided I wouldn't be able to do it ( Wrong) so I must say , the minute you are offered rehab, go for it. It will do wonders for your confidence. Then overhaul your lifestyle. I didn't need to lose weight but the change of diet made me lose 2 stone without even trying. I swapped red meat for white; massively increased vegetables and cut out anything fried, heavy in carbs or ready made. Pizzas, pies, chips, crisps, cakes and biscuits all went. I don't drink so that was easy. I do eat beef, low fat maybe once a week, I do have a small bag of crisps now and then; we had chips last week and roast potatoes today but I left the outsides. Life is for living after all. I'm still careful because I know I have two more potential blockages around 60% blocked but after 4 years I'm now only on a statin and aspirin and rarely think about it. The one thing I couldn't do was increase my exercise but just taking a walk every day will help- you don't have to go to the gym unless you love it. Things will get better if you take the advice. Think how lucky you've been to get a second chance; many people don't. My mum didn't. If you are still struggling, ask your GP t o help you find counselling. Try to cut down on stress, gradually increase your exercise, lose weight if you need to and carefully check your diet. The main BHF website has hundreds of recipes. I do know how easy it is to come in from work and just crash with a pizza or a takeaway then go to the pub but healthy meals can be made in advance and frozen and you can still have fun without alcohol. I wasn't ever a heavy drinker but I did love my whiskey until I had far too much at a party and the worst hangover ever. I've never touched it since.

I also have peripheral neuropathy but I'm afraid I can't help with that. I've never had any treatment apart from being offered gabapentin or lyrica for the pain- they didn't work for me. You need to see a neurologist to try to find the cause. I've just got used to it. It's more annoying than painful.

Best of luck with your new start.

CracklinRosie profile image
CracklinRosie

I haven't had a heart attack but last year at the age of 61 I was diagnosed with slight heart failure, it made me reavaluate my life and make changes , the first few months I was a nervous wreck , now I've calmed down and know I'm doing everything I can to improve my health , I've been diabetic for 10 yrs and really didn't let it affect me , now I know I should have taken better care , but I can't change the past I can only do the best for my future , good luck on your journey

INTHEUSA profile image
INTHEUSA

Age 50 I had an aortic dissection from the aortic root to Illiac. Drs replaced my aortic valve with a mechanical and sutured a stent over the 1st inch of the aorta. It was emergency surgery, totally unexpected. Surgery lasted over 12 hours and they had my body cooked 2 hours longer than standard. Drs did not know if I would have neurological function when and if I woke. During surgery I Coded 2x and once a few days after surgery after I was conscious. Of the last Code, a nurse said they thought I was gone…….Death doesn’t hurt. It’s peaceful. What scared me most was not seeing my kids again, if death happened. Scares me as I write this 12 years later. Simply let your kids know you love them, every day you speak to them. Do what you can for them today, while you can. Give your kids all you got and they will give all they have when we’re gone. That’s all we can do and hope for.

RailRover profile image
RailRover

My first experience of this was as the kid. My Dad had a heart attack on my 10th birthday when he was 44. He had a really serious one 2 years later that really made him a shadow of his former self, and he died 18 months later at 47 when I was 14. Those years were awful. My Mum and I were watching him like a hawk all the time and we were worried sick every time he seemed to be having a bad day or was in pain. Towards the end, I can still remember the anxiety of coming home from school. I'd be the first one home as my Mum was working and I'd never know what state I would find my father in. He might be having a reasonable day or he might be dead on the floor. Certainly made a big impression on me. I mention all of that to illustrate that children do feel your anxiety and bottle it up, so try to be careful about how much you show them.

Throughout my adult life, I knew I had the CAD gene, so I expected it to come back and bite me one day. I managed to dodge the bullet until I was 62, but then I had a HA followed by a stent to the RCA. At 64 I started getting some symptoms again and had triple bypass to the remaining 3 arteries.

It's true that you will have "what the hell is that?" type aches and pains, but you do get used to them, and after a while you start to believe they will go away like they did all the other times rather than they're going to kill you. As someone said, you get used to what is the new normal in your case. Every body is unique.

I think the most important thing is positivity. You really can worry yourself into trouble, so don't give it the satisfaction. Some people die with the first HA and don't get that warning and second chance, so see that as a massive bonus. Sure, you might die tomorrow, but so might anyone. It's not worth obsessing over. Concentrate on the good things in life and make plans. What is certain is that when we DO die we will be dead for an awful long time. I refuse to ruin my finite life by worrying in advance about my infinite death. I hope you get the vibe.

I would add that cardiac rehab is worth its weight in gold, so grab whatever you can get, and do as much adrenaline producing physical activity as you can manage. I love to play badminton for instance. I'm never going to be world champion, but if I could sell the buzz I get when I win a good game I would make a fortune. Good luck!

Jetcat profile image
Jetcat

I’m sorry about your heart attack dougal and the worry you’re experiencing at this time. But remember that yes you had a heart attack but you survived it and was able to have stents fitted. Only a few decades ago 7 out of 10 heart attacks were fatal. Today it’s the other way around. Procedures like stents and post heart attack medication’s and simple lifestyle changes keep people living now. You’ll probably die of something else. It’s normal to worry and be scared of leaving your son’s early but I’m sure you’re guna still be here to watch them grow up 👍

Maisywhippet profile image
Maisywhippet

hi, I was diagnosed with CAD about 2.5 yrs ago, they were unable to stent but did manage to open the artery with a balloon and then treated with a drug to keep in open…the cardiologists said she had patients that had this done 5 yrs ago and are still ok. But I was told that I may need a bypass in the future. I too have down days and feel like a ticking bomb..when I think what if and it is horrible, But I have to think positively…yes I have an ongoing problem, but it can be dealt with when the time comes. I was also diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy about 7 years ago. I don’t get pain when walking but my feet feel numb sometimes and they and my lower legs don’t like the warm weather. Sometimes they just feel as if they’re swollen but they aren’t…all very strange! I find using a tens type foot pad, which i bought on eBay for about £10 really helps with all this.I also brush my legs with a soft brush to stimulate circulation and also apply Vicks vapour rub to the soles of my feet every night!! You may well chuckle at this, but give it all a try…it has made my feet feel as though they belong to me again!!!good luck and I’m sure you’re anxiety will ease in time🙂

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toMaisywhippet

Thank you so much for your response, I will certainly try Vicks

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toMaisywhippet

Could you send a link with the type of tens machine you have please?

Maisywhippet profile image
Maisywhippet in reply toDougal77

doesn’t seem to want to send the photo, but if you type in EMS foot massager lots will come up. I went cheap to see if it did any good and it certainly helps me !😀 I think it’s all about doing everything you can to keep circulation working…I use it every eve when watching tv….have recommended these things to a few people, let me know if you have positive results as I’d be very interested to hear🤞🤞🤞

BenThom-Wood profile image
BenThom-Wood

Well Dougal77 , not exactly walked your path but my path is paved similarly to yours. I was fearful for a moment after my second event. That was the most serious one for me. Then I got to think about parents burying their children or the children burying their parents. It occurs to me that my son will always be burying me as I could never allow myself to bury him. My job is to keep him safe until I can no longer do so.

The world spins this way. It has done for millennia before us & it will do after us.

We have little choice in this matter but we must strive to work on making each day count.

I’ve a bucket around here if you want to collect “fuckets”, it strikes me that you’ll have loads soon?

Stay strong King.

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toBenThom-Wood

Thanks mate

Lotustriumph profile image
Lotustriumph

hi Dougal

I was fit & strong, hart attack end of Sept 22- 1 stent fitted.

I have had very dark thoughts over the past months, but the best way is to talk to people like ourselves, who have gone through what you have.

Just remember you are a hart attack survivor, not a victim & have been given a second chance to live life to the full, that is how I look at it, but expect some ups & downs

You will hopefully be fine, 👍

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toLotustriumph

Thanks mate, wishing you well in your recovery.

We are all in this together, I am amazed and delighted with all the kind and positive messages I have received.

bertngrace profile image
bertngrace

Hi dougal, youre right life is an absolute cunt. Who knows what's gonna happen. Love the people around you, just be kind. It's only energy is and perceptions. Exactly the same 4 yrs ago. Living large and not worrying.

Speeedy profile image
Speeedy

I had a heart attack when l was 41. I had the same feelings; it does go away. Even now whenever I see or speak to one of them I let them know I love them.I've had 3 more heart attacks since then.

Grayjay profile image
Grayjay

First of all you should be attending a support/ rehab group, where you will gain good advice and meet other folks in the same boat. I changed my life style. I stopped smoking started gentle excersise like walking, swimming, cycling. Nine years later I had to have a triple bypass, carried on again with gentle excercise and also took up yoga which was the best thing that I did as it totally changed my life.8 years later my grafts failed and had to have 4 stents inserted. Now 13 years later, aged 71still going strongish, off to see the heart nurse this morning. I can't promise you a smooth ride but with all the help and support out there, you should lead a good and long life. Don't worry get on with your life and enjoy.😀

daisy2311 profile image
daisy2311

Sorry to hear of your experience. I strongly recommend taking your thoughts and feelings about this to counselling. I have experienced health anxiety triggered by various things that have happened in my life combined with my own heart issue. Counselling helped me through these overwhelming feelings. Being able to offload in a non-judgemental space is so important.

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply todaisy2311

Thanks for your message. I have tried counselling in the past for something else and I found it far too scripted and unhelpful.

Many people have advised the same as you, so I will ask my GP about it next week when I am seeing her.

daisy2311 profile image
daisy2311 in reply toDougal77

There are different types of counselling and seeking out a Person-centred counsellor who allows you to bring whatever you want to the sessions and does not lead you may be more helpful. Typically, the NHS offers CBT which is useful but it sounds like that was too rigid for you and being able to speak more openly is important.

Valentino1XXX profile image
Valentino1XXX

Good Morning Douglas. Me 2 I hear exactly what you mean.

Regards

Michelle

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toValentino1XXX

I take it you have had similar experiences?

Kwakkers profile image
Kwakkers

Hallo, and welcome to the club. My first heart attack (I`ve had five) was at 35. I`m now 73 and seen my `lot` grow up, get jobs and buying ME drinks.

Follow what you`re told to do (and what not to do) and "listen" to your body. I was told to have afternoon naps; at work (understanding bosses) on M-way laybys and during games, `cos the kids just know you`re sick..."Daddy`s having a rest".

You can get a bracelet describing the condition and any `trained` people will know how to react. Go swimming, cut the booze and "carpe diem".....seize the day.

Check with your local hospital for any cardiac support groups; join them and have a bloody good laugh.

Good luck,

Frank.

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toKwakkers

Thanks Frank, your message is much appreciated.

If you any other tips it would be most welcome.

Cheers

Matt

Emcd8477 profile image
Emcd8477

Hi Dougal77 I'm right there beside you in the same boat,heart attack July 21 at 42 with 2 stents fitted I've been up to A&E a few times since and no matter how many doctors say its all good I just don't believe them,the thing with me was 3 months before my faithful day I was on the phone to the doctors and nhs24 saying something wasn't right with me and was just repeatedly told I had heartburn and low and behold it wasn't,I'm not the same person I was cause I now worry about every little pain I get,I'm getting some therapy but only over the phone and I've only had 1 sessions so can't say how it's going or if I feel better for it,I'm sometimes scared to go to sleep incase I don't wake up the anxiety is crippling sometimes,we are all in this together and this is the best place to get advice cause no matter how much we speak to family and friends they just don't understand

Keep your chin up

👍👍

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toEmcd8477

Thanks for your message, from reading your text it feels incredibly familiar.

It is so hard for people who haven’t gone through this to totally understand as hard as they try.

I have probably become hyper sensitive to any little bit of pain and discomfort but it hasn’t helped that I have since been told I have peripheral neuropathy which makes it hard to exercise like I want and need to.

I too and not the same person I was 12 months ago, but I am determined to not only get back to my old self but be better than I was.

Keep going mate, this forum is definitely teaching me we are all in this together.

Sodp profile image
Sodp

Dougal77 keep going mate, that's what I have been trying... Post recovery my recovery has been very slow...I do lots of stretches etc .not similar to what I was until I was diagnosed July last year of artho.. but small steps and I am hoping to get back into MTB one day soon.. good luck 🤞.. this site has been helping me significantly.

LadyBadger profile image
LadyBadger

Hello, Dougal. Sorry to hear about all your issues. It's really tough. I haven't had a heart attack but was diagnosed with heart valve disease 2 years ago out of the blue. I think it's always a shock when we perceive our bodies have let us down. In my case I did a lot of ' grieving' about the life I'd lost and this was coupled with HUGE fears about dying. I'm 55 so older than you but still felt it very hard. I couldn't eat or sleep hardly. Over the last 2 years I've learnt to chill a little although there are still moments of panic and dark thoughts, especially around scan and tests times. So, what helped? I'm working on acceptance and finding joy in the now. Am I good at that? Not always 😁 Is it still challenging at times? Well, yes but I'm working on it. One of the things I found really hard was trusting the cardiologists and letting them lead. It's taken time to let go and allow myself to trust that they're looking after me. It really, really sucks having all this trauma and I feel for you. Believe me, I understand. However, in a strange way we are the lucky ones who are now monitored and observed. If your doctor thinks you need more treatment you will get it. Lots of unfortunate folk walking around out there with undiagnosed heart conditions ( I was one of them). I send you my very best wishes. Look for all the joy you can find today and keep going.

Dougal77 profile image
Dougal77 in reply toLadyBadger

Thanks for your message, feeling that our bodies have let us down is a great way of describing how it feels.

I know I shouldn’t feel too down as others have been taken away without warning and at a much younger age.

I am finding this to be a great forum and so pleased to have received such great advice and positivity.

I wish you all the very best and thanks again.

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