so scared

[Dogloverxthree]

after my post yesterday I am desperate, following the CPR EPISODE and leaving me in servers pain they took me for a pacemaker now I’m laying here on oxygen and in even more pain as my lung is punctured this on top of constant pain from my triple bypass of 2013 I’ve had enough don’t feel I can take anymore my heart rate has been over 100 moist of the night and hospital is such a lonely place especially at night

[meadfoot]

So sorry you are having such a dreadful, time. It is so scary and feels a very dark place to be in. All of us dealing with heart conditions of various types and severity know exactly how you are feeling right now. The good news is we are all still here to tell the tale and can support you virtually.

You are in a safe place with medics surrounding you to attend to your needs and they will do so you can be assured. Trust in their expertise and best intentions to get you back on track. Rest in that knowledge and support. Sending virtual hugs, As with the night the darkness will fade and you will prevail. Keep strong.

[Dogloverxthree in reply to meadfoot]

thank you I can’t see a future for me it’s been 10 years of pain now magnified 10 times 🥲😩

[meadfoot in reply to Dogloverxthree]

Its so hard as I know myself only too well. Things can improve so please do not give up hope. I hope you are getting emotional support along the way as its key to keeping afloat during very tough times. If not please ask for some dont suffer within yourself. Be open to medics with your concerns and those caring for you generally. Best wishes.

[Dogloverxthree in reply to meadfoot]

they know how distressed I am I haven’t slept for a week but I can’t have sleeping medication they just want to have morphine for the pain I can’t tolerate it then gave it to me yesterday when they did pacemaker it was horrible and didn’t relax me just the opposite sorry about the continual moan

[meadfoot]

I think in your current situation it would be strange if you were not upset. The whole situation you are in is very hard. All I can offer is understanding, empathy and support having been in worrying and troubling health positions myself. Its not good but please fight on.

[Dogloverxthree in reply to meadfoot]

thank you, you sound assif you’ve been down a similar rocky road. 🤗

[meadfoot]

Yes indeed I have. I am still here though and doing ok as will you too. Plod on one step at a time. One day this time will all be a bad memory you will get past. Best wishes.

[fantasyfanuk]

I’m very sorry to hear you are having further problems and even more pain. Life seems really unfair sometimes. I found the pacemaker insertion difficult too as sedation didn’t work and it was not a painless experience even though there were no actual complications. It must be worrying to have to be on oxygen when you were hoping to feel somewhat better but Meadfoot is right that it would be strange if you weren’t upset and took it all in your stride without a murmur. It is absolutely normal to currently feel down, angry or anxious, whatever emotions you do feel, in such a traumatic situation. The trick is to try not to let it all overwhelm you. Because my pacemaker was put in as an emergency and I had no time at all to get used to the idea beforehand, I felt I needed to talk to someone about how I felt about it. My family and friends didn’t really get it although they were very supportive and NHS staff didn’t have time so as soon as I got home I organised some counselling. I did have to pay for it from a charity as the NHS waiting list was a year long (!) but I knew I needed it straight away. It was the best thing I could have done and within 6 sessions I had got it all off my chest (sorry about the pun!) and felt so much better emotionally. Maybe something like that could help you? If not, other people swear by meditation or have other ways of getting over trauma, pain and upset. I’m sure you will find some idea or someone on here that will help you. In the meantime keep posting and I really hope they sort out the physical issues and that the pain eases for you very soon.