I believe Empathy is an emotion that is natural to some, instinctive. Maybe you can learn it but it’s knowing what it should be to learn it.To be able to put yourself into another’s shoes, body and mind, to feel their emotions and what they create in them. Yes you can sympathise, but sympathy is not as intense as Empathising.Empathy to me is trying to assist someone even though they are not assisting themselves. They may not be at the stage that they can assist their own healing, not abandoning them when they need support, but assisting them to give them strength to help themselves. Yes, you have to have the strength of mind and soul and Empathy for each and everyone to step forward for a long term walk.Remember -
There for the Grace of God
Go Thee
@Angela Rawlins
Written by
LaceyLady
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Hello
I was reading something and I will be discreet but I think you will know without me saying but the comments I read were disgusting and I was so upset by them it made me question what I was even doing on here
Maybe I should have commented but I think what I am talking about ( again you will know ) already had been given enough attention that it did not deserve
I love your post it is so true and in a perfect world it would be lovely if everyone would think this way and open up their minds but as we know they don't
But I try and think they are the one's suffering as something must be dreadfully wrong with them or their life because Empathy costs nothing and one of the nice things left in this world you can offer others and make a difference if you do
Thank you so much for your reply. Yes I know who you’re thinking of. I could have said a lot more, but there’s no point with those people , you did them a kindness by your reply, sadly I’ve met people like him before, sad people because they end up alone and miserable 🤷🏼♀️I am a ‘reader’ and the health problems all have associated emotional behaviours that may cause the issues. Sadly some are blind to why they’re in the situation they’re in 🤷🏼♀️
What they say says more about them and peopl will avoid them 🤷🏼♀️
I know I just found it so upsetting and I would not be around a group of people like that in real life and just thought why am I on something where this is happening I was really feeling for you x
These types are cowards , they open mouth without engaging a brain. They say whatever they like because they are supposedly invisible, I can’t imagine them talking in such a way in person.
hi. I’ve always steered clear of social media until I joined this forum as I didn’t want to be exposed to the type of comments that you recently experienced. I’ve found a lot of very empathetic people on this forum but there is a slight minority who seem to get a kick out of being unkind or contentious. I dread the day that I encounter them and I will most likely not return. This should be a safe space where we can talk about our health issues without being set upon by those who are unwilling to demonstrate empathy and courtesy, even if they don’t agree with our views.
I have just read your reply and want to reassure you this does not happen often and I hope you never do encounter anything like it but " if " and it is an " if " you do please do not ever leave the Community especially if it helps you to be a member instead message someone you can talk to on here and I hope you would include me in someone you could message along with others and we would support you and reassure you instead of you ever leaving as we would miss you x
hi. Thanks. That’s really kind of you . People like you are what make this forum so brilliant.
Its such a shame that there’s a minority who don’t care or appreciate how damaging words can be. I read your reply to another post where you stood up to someone who was being deliberately antagonistic. Good on you, I really hope that they got the message. X
This is a safe and helpful space and will always be if people just learn to ignore the immature attention seekers who are looking for arguments and to wind people up. Never reward negative behaviour and if you believe comments are inappropriate or offensive just press report and let the admin do their job.
There are some who are born with a form of autism where they are lacking in empathy and they have to be taught. They are unable to instinctively read other people’s emotions and can react immediately to things without realising the consequence and have to be taught to hold back And not lash out. This is particularly hard when they are under stress because their brains are wired slightly differently. This does not mean they are bad people and if they are surrounded by kindness and understanding and patience they can learn to moderate their behaviour and to interpret what people actually mean - particularly when they are young. Also the correct diet and supplements can help.
my younger brother had autism and spent 40+ years in mental institutions being diagnosed with schizophrenia. Died through negligence by hospital on 14/7 /22
Waiting for an inquest.
Peter never learned empathy as such but bless him, have a homeless man some money.
I believe they often take things literally, as do some others. I met a man at a bar locally a few months ago and I told him I didn't drink alcohol because of the drugs I was on, whereupon he started to tell me I should "ditch them", that they are harmful ( we all know that drugs often hold some toxins). It was a while before I realised that he and I were not discussing the same "drugs". On hindsight, I believe he was talking about hard drugs. When we write, it is even easier to be misinterpreted.
We should only give when we’re fit enough to do so as we need to consider ourselves first. Sympathy and empathy can be given without expense to ourselves. 💗
I understand what you’re saying. Unfortunately for me they didn’t even try initially, and then it took me paying out for private to prove the physical and still doing so.
Generally I’ve not seen the help others need or needed for long term conditions.
sadly women are thought to be making a fuss about nothing when not making g excuses for ‘it’s your age’. The tide is turning albeit slowly. They’re beginning to realise women have different constitutions🙄
definitely, the world would be a much better place if there was more empathy hence kindness and gentleness. An old saying from the 1st nation Americans: don't judge another until you've walked 1 mile in his/her mocassins. Regards and I hope your day goes well.
Dear LaceyLady
Very true words to your post and the fact that you have to write them tells me that you { like me } have come across many that don’t walk this path.
You have to be strong in this life and strength is something that illness can either tear apart or make grow stronger, in the cases of being torn away then all forms of emotions that aren’t necessarily your own come to the surface and dominate your thinking and communication.
Things are said that are destructive to both themselves or anyone showing positive energy to them, so as much as I agree with your post you still have to read the situation before offering advice, something that I have fallen foul of on here a few times.
I agree that some women are treated differently in all forms of ways in this life, you know that I think that is wrong, but there are many of the same women would openly attack me for saying so.
One day I held open a door for a women who came out with a torrent of abuse for me doing so and as for the woman who I offered my seat on the bus to, well you would have thought that I personally had turned the woman's movement back to its founding.
Take care and be aware that kindness can actually cost you.
it wasn’t intended as a lecture actually. But I had experienced rude and insensitive messages on another post. It’s amazing the differences that the context is taken.
I actually will disagree with this, empathy cannot be taught and some people don't have natural empathy. I think there are some very kind people on here who have tried to justify why some people fail to show empathy, as I said I think they are being kind.
I was meaning a small child not babies. There are those who have the attribute and those who don’t. There are those who maybe have not had the chance to develop it and find they are put in position to realise they have the ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, to imagine and feel what it could be like to walk in their shoes. Some just don’t, not in their nature.
Dr Phil - you can find him on YouTube. He has been making programmes for 18 series so forgive me for not hunting through them to find the references he makes to empathy but as a psychologist it is something he talks a lot about.
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