Have been on here a couple of times. I have vasospastic angina and my biggest triggers are stress and temperature change. The warm weather has really affected my breathing but my stress levels are now through the roof. My children's dad has passed away unexpectedly and we are all in shock (we weren't together but remained friends). My children are in their early twenties and watching them struggle with their feelings is one of the worst things I've had to watch . My Vasospastic symptoms have kicked in quite badly. Has anyone any advice as to how I can keep my stress levels down at this tough time so I can support my children better. Thanks.
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Pilchard2
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Hello
I do not have angina I had heart attacks and then a triple Bypass however stress and this heat has affected and does affect my breathing and the more we feel our symptoms from both the symptoms we get are worse
I am so sorry for your loss and I was in a very similar situation to you at Christmas
The Father to my Daughters caught and we cannot say it on here but it was what you got with the pandemic we have had and he was getting better and then all of s sudden he passed away
My Daughters are in their early 40's and middle 30's but they were both very much daddies girls
It was so hard to see the pain they were in and they are still dealing with it today but all I could do was to be there for them , listen to them , be a shoulder to cry on , fill in things they never knew about their Dad of his younger years , share the funny stories , let them know how when they were babies how he doted on them and so on
It hurts and I so wanted to take all their pain away but I knew I could not do that but I knew I could be there and that is what you can do which I am sure you will
I would speak with your Doctor tell the, your symptoms get checked over so that you know it is the stress and heat causing your symptoms which no doubt it will be and then hold your Children's ( adults ) but always a Mum's child hands as when they were younger and know that yes they are struggling now but with your love this will slowly get easier for them x
Thank you for your kind reply. The last paragraph made me cry. Whatever age our children are they're never to old to hold their hands. I'm making an appointment to see my consultant just for a check over. I know that time will heal but I think there's going to be alot of hand holding going on. 🙁
I am pleased you will get checked out as you need to keep well as yes there will be a lot of hand holding to do and sometimes it does make you drained even though you will not let go till you know they don't need them holding any longer
My girls still come back every so often and need theirs held again but it slowly is getting a little less than in the beginning
Again I am so sorry for your families loss but I know as a Mum you will see them through it x
Emotional, mental, and physical stress along with the cold are my triggers for a severe episode of vasospastic angina.
A couple of years after my diagnosis my mother aged 89 died due to breast cancer.
My children were in their teens.
It was so difficult trying to grieve for my mother while watching my children grieve too.
My amazing husband supported me throughout ( a strong never show your emotions Yorkshireman). Though bless him he cried when our youngest started crying after my mum's funeral.
My children held me tight. My daughter, the eldest just held onto me emotionally and physically.
I slowed down, rested physically. It's exhausting grieving.
I spoke to my Cardiologist.
I increased some of my medication temporarily.
I got through it. Perhaps allow your children or a close friend to hold you tight too.
You're right grief is literally heart felt. Not only do you feel mentally rubbish but You're hit with this physical side. I'm making an appointment to see my consultant. I just feel the need to touch base with him. We're all pulling together as a family and we will get through it. Us mums need to be kind to ourselves as well. Thank you for your kind words and I've taken on board what you've said. X
Sorry to hear about your situation. I had a heart attack on the side of the road 2000 miles into cycling the 4700 miles of Britains coastline at the age of 65. I was told I shouldn’t ride for six weeks, so I hung around in Thurso Scotland. Then carried on through Shetlands, outer Hebrides and back to Blackpool. I was also told I was two stone over weight. I walked out of hospital and joined slimming world and lost the weight in sixteen weeks. I’ve been at target weight for four and half years now.I haven’t said that to show off. Just to say we need to keep ourselves fit and healthy. My wife died of cancer twenty years ago. I have a son and daughter both in there late thirties, five grandchildren and one great granddaughter.
There are time’s when I have felt concerned about each one of them, but we can’t be expected to take on every worry they have. That would be just to much to bear. We can only be there to give advice, support and if you can afford it equal amounts of money ( never give one more than another). I’m very open with my children and we have a joint whattsap page that we all share, so we all support each other.
I’m sure your children don’t want you to worry about them, they want you to be around for many many years to come.
My children don't want me to worry about them but as a mum that's really hard. We're all very close. It's now really sinking in about looking after myself as you say they want me around for as long as possible. You have done some amazing things and that has made me think even more. Thanks for your inspiration. 😊
The fact your children have said they don't want you to worry about them is a good sign and shows they able to cope. Grief is hard but it gets less painful as we go through the stages. Be kind to yourself and try and distract yourself in a good way regularly throughout each day. Have you ever tried guided meditation?
Just wanted to send you my condolences. So sorry for your loss. Your children will process their griefs in their own way and time. You are doing so too.Take care and do talk to us whenever you need.
Watching the pain of our children can be worse than if the pain is our own. No wonder your symptoms have spiked! The same thing happened here in May with my adult boys losing their dad and the sense of helplessness was overwhelming. My microvascular angina symptoms increased and were more regular than they had been and I had to be kind to myself. I treated myself to massages, facials and other self care treats and I rested up as often as possible (without guilt which is another annoying emotion us mums experience 🫤). Please look after yourself……. put your own oxygen mask on first in order to have the strength to support your loved ones. Sending strength ❤️
Having someone know exactly how you're feeling physically and mentally is like a weight shared. I now have some ideas of what I can do.Thank you for the advice
An app called headspace is very good for relaxation and self meditation. Controlling the breathing is a good thing - one is to imagine the four edges of a square, from bottom left corner take your eyes slowly up to the top corner whilst breathing slowly and deeply in through your nose. As you follow the top edges left to right hold that breath. Coming down from the top right edge to bottom corner breathe slowly out of your mouth, then along the bottom hold the out breath.Repeat this session say four or 5 times and periodically throughout the day.
Another is to sit or lie comfortably, Imagine you are on a beach 🏖 but your in the shade as a cloud passes over the sun. All of a sudden you feel the warmth of the sun on you toes, it creeps slowly up your feet as the cloud moves, up your legs, over your body and down your arms until you face, head & body are bathed in warmth as you hear the waves of the sea lapping the beach. You are breathing slowly all the time. If you feel to hot allow that cloud to back over the sun slowly as it cools you
I'm going to give your suggestions a try. My daughter will probably try with me but my son will give me the 'really mum' look. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks 😊
I know the son look, I get that too 😂This may sound silly but, if you do the imagine the beach, I was doing it one day and I’d put a fan on as it was hot - the fan was almost like a breeze so I incorporated that with it a few times
i am sorry to hear about your current situation, it is hard to avoid feeling stressed at such times
in the short term have you tried any of the breathing or relaxation techniques you can find online - taking a few moments to just focus on your breathing can really help to calm you - the NHS site is a reiable starting point: nhs.uk/mental-health/self-h...
in the longer term you might find it helpful to join a group or find a counselor who can help you look at ways to change your response to pressure and stress - avoiding these is almost impossible these days, but we can change how we behave in response and this can be really helpful
The counsellor is definitely on my list of things as I've had alot to deal with over the last 10 years. Thankyou for the NHS link. I will look into it and thnakyou for just taking the time to reply.
Sorry to hear of your loss and the grief and pain that you are having to experience. It is so natural to want to be able to take the pain away from your children but your support and empathy will help them more than you realise. Try to trust in their natural ability to process their grief with your love and support so that you can try to relax at other times, rather than feeling you need to worry about them 24/7. I know that as their mum their pain is your pain but try to imagine their grief as a hot potato ... you might want to take and hold the hot potato from them so that they don't have to hold it, but instead you need to let them hold the hot potato themselves but you can be alongside them to ease their discomfort. Sending you my thoughts and best wishes.
Both of my children have told me they will get through this and I must look after myself. I have to trust they will talk to me if needed. I've had some amazing advice and suggestions from the lovely people on here. So thank you as well. starting to get things straight in my mind.😊
Is it similar to vaso vagal? I had nit heard of it before but, my cardioligist thinks i may have vaso vagal. No pain just a heavy squeeze sensation in chest . Had all the usual tests & all come back clear. (Ive looked at various explanations but none seem to fit with my symptoms.
Vasospastic angina is when the coronary arteries go into a temporary constriction reducing the blood flow to the heart.If prolonged a vasospasm can cause a heart attack .
Typically the pain happens at rest in particular during the night.
The chest pain due to coronary vasospasms can be severe and prolonged.
My coronary vasospasms feel like labour pain to me.
The BHF has this information about vasospastic angina.
Hi I hope you feel better today. I have the same condition as yourself and stress does increase symptoms.
I was diagnosed a long time ago, I managed my symptoms well but when my husband died very suddenly when I was alone with him I had a relapse and all the worst symptoms came back.
I think what happens you are so concerned about supporting your children
( no matter their age) and others that you forget how it’s affecting you.
You need to give yourself time on your own maybe just having a short walk or even just sitting somewhere quiet to think and grieve on your own. I use mindfulness and find it a great help. Perhaps contact your GP and have a chat.
Condolences to you all as a family you sound close and will all get through this together.
I'm feeling better mentally today but not physically. On top of what's already happened my children's aunt (their dad's sister) died last night. We're all talking and dealing with things which are appropriate to us. I went and got a haircut today. Great therapy until it comes to paying for it! I've made an appointment to see my consultant and have been keeping busy. There's a field of horses near me which I've visited a few times. They'll be fed up with me soon. Thankyou for taking the time to message me. 😊
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