Who Is Watching You?

[MichaelJH]

A man calls Pizza Hut to order a pizza...

CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.

GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How do you know that?

GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.

CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER: I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!

CALLER: WHAT THE !!!

GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...

[Hidden]

Hello

As always I love it !

You made me laugh and also have brought some much needed light hearted atmosphere to the forum with your post

Thank you x

[marigoldb]

Brilliant! Thank you Michael. Who says Big Brother isn’t watching us?

[Jetcat in reply to marigoldb]

Most of society is getting watched and has been for ages. But i think it’s part of life.!Can you imagine what it will be like in the future.?

I think microchips of some sort will be available for implants etc in the near future, and then eventually the embryo’s of your growing child will be chipped even before it’s born.?

A.I robots will become common place in every day life, and on the war fronts.

I think A.I will control all of everything in the future and we will get to a point of only surviving because of the presence of A.I, it’s a self learning system that only ever gets better and more intelligent a lot faster than us.!!

I wish I could travel into the future just 200 years from now for a glimpse of it all.??🤪

That’s if it hasn’t destroyed us all.????

[Hidden]

Wonder if it was a human that answered or Ai ? I’m still shocked when the alarm goes off to tell me to take my tablets !

[RufusScamp]

The future is here...I ordered a Wenceslaus pizza. Deep pan, crisp and even.

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to RufusScamp]

I'll have to remember that one for Christmas! 😁

[Handel in reply to RufusScamp]

😂😂😂😂😂

[Hidden]

On visiting relatives I thought that we had a new member to our clan what with all “ Alexa get this Alexa get that, Alexa turn on this, Alexa turn off that “ was quite disturbed when I found out Alexa was an ugly little box thing { mmmmmm could be a new member of our clan } it didn’t reply to my command { which I’m to much of a gentleman to repeat on here }

[Handel in reply to Hidden]

😂😂

[Timetraveler67 in reply to Hidden]

My friend told me that hers suddenly without her asking anything (she was sat down quietly) told her that “there wasn’t much time left“ - then switched off. She rang and told me she found it creepy

[Hidden in reply to Timetraveler67]

Ooooooooooooooh that is creepy { sure you could make a film out of that }

[Mijmijkey74 in reply to Timetraveler67]

So creepy! Did it possibly have a brief sudden awareness and panic mode set in I wonder. Or was it alerting to its charge and there not being much time left? Or maybe it got hacked. Is possible your friend spoke out absentmindedly and that all listening always listening ear heard whatever your friend said that friend has no recollection of saying/even speaking.

[jeanjeannie50]

Love it! Made me laugh, it's the way we're heading!

[DanniC88]

This is life now. Big brother is always watching 👀And Alexa is always listening. Be careful where you put those things im certain they listen in on conversations (and dont put them im your bedroom either)👂👂

[Mijmijkey74 in reply to DanniC88]

They do listen in. As do laptops, computers, tv's, landlines, gaming gadgets, mobile phones. And what's creepy is that when I got to mobile phones sentence my mobile phone started deleting my comment whilst I was still trying to finish off typing. I had to start over again with whole comment starting at laptops as delete stopped at that and I wasn't pressing delete. It was deleting of its own accord.

[Larneybuds]

Indeed!!!.......fab....love it x

[VelvetSky]

So true, frightening🙀

[Snackjack]

Hilarious, gave me a good laugh, thank you.

[Bobkins99]

Yes, my partner and I have conversations about turning and the next day we will get adds on Facebook and Google. They are monitoring and listening. I don't mean there is a someone with a phone listening in but they certainly use recognition algorithms through your phone mic

[AliceAnnie]

Great 👍 but how true. I’m sure ‘someone’ listens in!

[Fullofheart]

Genius! 😂

[Etblue]

😂😂😂🤣

[sampaloc0624]

Wahahaha! This is very good! Thanks

[Emeralds55]

😆🤣😆

[jowalk6]

Thanks for the giggle 🤭 x

[Handel]

😂😂😂😂 Sad but so true!! Thanks for brightening up yet another day Michael!I hope you're doing OK. All the very best. Jan xx

[Silvasava]

Michael, brilliant!! would you mind if I copied it to a private forum please?

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to Silvasava]

No worries as they say in Oz! 🙃

[Silvasava in reply to MichaelJH]

Thank yuou Michael - good to give some others a good laugh.......many a true word spoken in jest though?

[Mijmijkey74 in reply to MichaelJH]

Yes I would like to copy this and share it with my older teenager and a friend if that is ok by you Michael? 🤔 ☺

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to Mijmijkey74]

Of course!

[Nadeje]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Silvertail]

True. Once upon a time people used to get annoyed if you read their diaries. Nowadays they get annoyed if you don’t read their Facebook pages.

[PecanSandie]

Very funny! If they watched me, they would die of boredom.

[Mijmijkey74 in reply to PecanSandie]

Doubt it, because how even more boring is their job of sitting all day in a room staring at a screen and doing absolutely nothing else. Mind numbing.

[Silvasava]

No idea as I hadn't seen it before, it just seemed polite to ask if I could repost.

[Beta70]

I signed up for ITV hub on my laptop and started watching "Cheat". However, I prefer watching tv in my favourite comfy spinning chair, so adjourned to the lounge. Imagine my shock when a few days later I received an e mail saying I had not finished watching Cheat! It really unnerved me.

[Heythrop51]

Does it matter? It gave us a laugh and made us think. I imagine you will delete your comment as you have all your other ones. WHY?

[Mijmijkey74 in reply to Heythrop51]

Who were you responding too? A ghost 👻? It certainly looks that way. 😉😂😉

[Heythrop51 in reply to Mijmijkey74]

There was an idiot scudmissile (?) who joined, made stupid posts and comments, often deleting them hours late leaving comments like mine hanging. It looks like HU deleted him - the plonker!

[Heythrop51]

I am surprised you haven't deleted your response yet. BTW have you given up hunting, shooting and fishing?