Hi all many of you have read my story but for those who haven’t a quick recap.
Totally out of the blue quadruple heart bypass 7 weeks ago then a heart attack 5 weeks ago, I also found out I had a heart attack probably about 10 weeks ago, so obviously I’ve still got a long way to go with the physical side but all this has really given me like so many others a mental health problem.
So to the title basically I’m a Paramedic and I’ve probably never been out to anyone on this forum but I want to say sorry to all on here and through everyone on here kind of through telepathy to all heart patients for the way some people have been treated or spoken to in the past. I have been out to loads of people who have chest pain just in general, then I’ve also been out to people like us who have bypasses, valves, heart attacks, heart failure and so on. I realise now though I did my job and I’m always nice to people it’s only now I know I didn’t do enough the people who ring us are really really scared. I’ve been out to so many people in tear’s and never understood why, I say to people just as people and nurses have said to me your fine now your fixed and so on and so on but they don’t understand at all just like I didn’t till now.
It is for this reason I’m and on behalf of my profession sorry, if I ever go back to work I will listen more and spend spend a short time making sure people are medically well, then spend as long as they want to cry on my shoulder.
Please don’t blame these people their like I was, you can only understand once you’ve been where we all are and so close to death.
I have met so many lovely people on here who understand and care❤️
Thanks to you all Martin
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Jako999
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Thank you for sharing your story.I can only add that my experience, when I had a suspected heart-attack, was that the paramedics were wonderful. They were calm, efficient, and reassuring. (All the hospital staff were superb too!)
We should all be grateful that people like you do what can be a thankless and difficult task. I hope you make a full recovery.
Thank you we all do our best and I hope I go above and beyond as do so many in the NHS but it’s not till you have had it all actually happen to you that you can really understand the full impact and I have to say the mental one is something I completely over looked. Thanks
When I had a heart attack the paramedics were fantastic. They diagnosed it very quickly, blue lighted me straight to the Angioplasty theatre for immediate treatment. First class they were.
That's so kind , there is no need to apologise , although the fact that you want to, probably proves you are one of the good guys and have always tried your best to make people like us feel better in a scary situation anyway.
Many people wouldn't even think of saying sorry , even though they unfortunately got first hand experience of how hard it is mentally to deal with a heart condition. Many would still continue to treat patients just as they did before.
Do you think you will be able to get back to work in the future?
If you can't go back as a Paramedic , perhaps you could find a new career giving talks to other paramedics and health professionals explaining what it is like to be a patient and helping through your experience to help them to be more considerate of the effect of emergency treatment on the mental health of heart and chronically ill patients. You'd be worth your weight in gold to us all.
Take care and I hope you have a smooth recovery . Do post as you progress if you have any concerns or just need to chat to people whom understand your feelings . Bee
After my bypass I had a scary episode. The paramedics came out and reassured me and were wonderful. No need for apologies. You work very hard under extreme pressure and don’t get nearly enough recognition
Hi Martin, thats a very nice post. Please don't feel guilty, it is your job, and like all jobs, we soon become imune to the troubles of that job, Drs, vets, butchers, abattoir workers etc. and paramedics like you, are trying to be efficient, but have learned to self protect by not seeing the distress. I'm not saying that is everyone, but most I'm sure.
We wish you well with your recovery and I hope you do get back to work, its important that you can carry on helping those in need 😊👏👏👏 Lets hope that one day the NHS will be fully staffed 🤞
There is no need for any apology! In my case the paramedics were fabulous!
They were full of humour, compassion and care, and made me feel as though they had all the time in the world for me (although I'm sure they were rushed off their feet)!
I hope that you are on soon on the road to recovery yourself!
Hi Martin. Thanks for the apology but in my opinion there’s no need for one. You and your fellow medics are only human and do your best. It’s easy in hindsight to say what you should or should not have done or said. All of us passing on our experience helps and medical training reflects this I think. Don’t worry about the past but look to the future and your mental and physical well-being. It’s a long journey. Take care.
Thank you for your work. The paramedics were so kind to me when I was taken ill before I knew that I had heart failure. They treated me with dignity and took time with me.
Morning Martin. Not really to do with your post, but I'm a midwife and when I'm at a home birth and something is not quite going to plan - the arrival of paramedics is like a breath of fresh air!
Wishing you all the best for a speedy recovery. As other replies have said, you already sound like you're a very caring person so I really hope you can return to your job because you'll be a huge asset to the ambulance service with your new knowledge and experience from the other side.
As medical professionals, we're often better at looking after others and not so good at caring for ourselves. Despite knowing that the NHS in general, and your colleagues specifically, are under a lot of pressure - don't feel tempted to return to work until you are 100% recovered, both mentally and physically. And don't ever feel guilty about putting yourself first for a change!!
Martin I wish you well, and like everyone says there really is no need to apologise, as you and your colleagues do a amazing job, in what can be a very demanding, thankless at times and difficult job. I remember those paramedics who looked after me with fondness and total respect as they were brilliant.
It isn't just your job where training alone doesn't give you a insight and true understanding as to how many things can affect people.
I hope you are well soon and back to enjoying life.
Dear Jako999
Thank you for your loverly post and how becoming ill has made you realise that you are indeed dealing with fragile human beings and not the little grey almost cartoon like characters as we appear in medical study books as some in your profession do.
I have been ill twice in my life { throw in a few broken bones and losing pints of the red stuff over the years } and there is about 35 years between the incidents so the change in how care/treatment is given was quite a surprise to me.
I have been treated like a piece of meat, almost as if I was a burden on their day, questions asked were met with indifference and palmed off, almost how dare I even think that I could possibly understand what is going on, “ leave that to us Mr *******”.
I have been over nannied, were everything thing was met with a head turned into their shoulder and every question met with “ Oh I know” one time someone actually patted me on the wrist and said “there there you’ll be ok”
Then the time I was in the company of professionals as they moved like a team to get the problem sorted, asking if I was alright, if I needed anything and explaining what the bloody hell was actually happening to me.
I let you guess which method of handling me left me with confidence that I would survive.
This line will not be popular, but I have met many { and know many } that being in the medical profession is just a paid job and it really shows when you get someone that the job is a calling.
At the end of the day all their methods worked for me, because I am here replying to your post, but a massive part of my reflection is very much the way I was treated, the good and the bad.
Your post reminded me of being in a cardiac ward with heart failure last March. After 3 weeks I spoke with the cardiologist who suggested their was a new way to treat my leaking mitral valve by a specialist cardiac surgeon in Bristol. He decided to write to him to see if I would be suitable for this procedure. I asked him what would happen if I didn't have this op. He said with a completely straight face, "you'll die"... as for the paramedics who brought me in from the GP surgery, they were brilliant. It's 18 months on and I'm still waiting to know if I can have this op...Jacko999 wishing you a good recovery. Your post was very moving, thank you.
Thank you for such a lovely post. Even my family don’t appreciate just how scared I was. Living on my own with my wee dog it was /is scary. However I have to say the two paramedics who came out to me were beyond exceptional ! Super professional … and yet caring and reassuring. Above all they were fast !! They also chose not take me to my local hospital which is five minutes down the road but made the decision to blue light me to the main Heart Specialist hospital half an hour away. Those two young paramedics saved my life … no doubt about it. I’ll be forever grateful. Take care as it’s very early days for you on this journey. ❤️❤️❤️🏴
I’ve just finished work in the Nhs after 40+ years because of the heart attack and the issues it’s left me with. I know what you mean that it’s a different view from being in the bed to standing beside it working. But that doesn’t mean you treated anyone in any way that wasn’t right. The systems at work don’t always give you the time to spend with people you’d like. Your often pulled in different directions at the same time. You have nothing to apologise for. I get very worked up if I need to contact my GP’s. The receptionist’s put so many obstacle’s in the way, often with attitude. But I have to admit they work in an often not patient friendly system, there’s always some ( like in any parts of life) who just could be nicer but mostly I have to admit they’re working under the pressures within that system and can get stressed themselves with that.
I think a common factor in life is that people can often be rushing around not giving others the time or tolerance because their too busy. A life changing event like many of us have had makes us slow down give things more thought.
Stop beating yourself up, experience’s in life can change us and we can do things differently than before but it doesn’t make things we did before that experience wrong- just different. Concentrate on your recovery.
You are obviously a very caring person to even be saying what you have but like so many others have told you....no apology needed. I think most people would want to be just dealt with quickly and efficiently and get to hospital to feel safer than at home. Most are also in panic mode and wouldn't be worrying too much about your demeanour with them....as long as you didn't thump anyone lol and did your job .... make them stable and got that blue light flashing.....you will be remembered more for your efficiency than anything else. I am sure if you return to your job, you will be as professional, knowledgeable and efficient as you were before......but thank you for posting and I hope you return to better health yourself so that you can continue to do the most important part of your job....saving lives or getting people to the big building that will hopefully make them better. You are a star Xx
Think you are being a bit harsh on yourself, don't be and I see no need for apologies. The scary part of your story for me is that you had a HA after you had a quad bypass - not sure if I want to know anymore about this possibility. I have worked really hard of changing my life and have worked my way up to 2hr sessions in the gym almost every day cardio / weights etc and do not want anything to knock my confidence in doing this.
Such a lovely post Martin and I would say the same as the replies above All dealings I have had with paramedics have been wonderful You are a special caring person and I hope you can take comfort and reassurance from these replies I wish you a speedy recovery and put yourself first now x
In the last 18 months I have literally had my life saved twice by paramedics. First time was when I had my heart attack and they quietly and efficiently, did all their business while chatting reassuringly to me. They even had me chuckling on the way to the hospital. The second time, about 6 months later, was a bit different. It was with heart failure, though I didn't what that was at the time. The 999 lady kept me on the phone all the while talking to me telling me the ambulance was on its way. I could barely breathe and couldn't stand and move around. To be honest, I can't remember too much of that event. I do remember the feeling of drowning, the total fear and the smiling faces and gentle words of the paramedics as they calmly saved my life.
No one in that profession owes me any apologies for anything. I owe them all so much.
Please please don’t apologise for your profession, at age 73 I’ve had far far more positive experiences with paramedics than negative in fact I don’t think I’ve ever had a negative paramedic. However I hear what you are saying and compare it to the death of my beloved husband, before his death when I heard of someone’s partner dying of course I sympathised but didn’t truly know what it felt like until it happened to me. We all learn through experience just as you have. I’m sure you made a wonderful paramedic, your words here tell me everything I need to know about your empathy.I hope you go on to make a good recovery and get back to the job you obviously love, we all need people like you.
When I had my heart attack I was attended by 3 paramedics. They were extremely professional and immediately put me at ease. They did the very best for me and got me into a local hospital that has a cath lab rather than having me wait in A and E at the nearest hospital. I wrote to the ambulance service afterwards expressing my gratitude and the paramedics were commended for their action. Now when I see an ambulance on blues I remember that day and silently send my best wishes to all involved.
Well nice to hear from you Jako999, you obviously still have a long road ahead but these guys and gals are here for youAs an ex nurse, still work for the nhs in different capacity I’ve been a cater and on the patient end and some medics are text book robots and no bedside manner and others are restricted by times and targets - patients are humans with complex emotions and should be able to have that individual care and compassion
I’ve been NHS and private patient through my partners policy - and to be hoses I dread losing the private as my cardiac NHS experiences have bee poor and very anxiety provoking on top of the condition
Thank you so much for your post and I wish you an event free recovery and hope you get back to your career - we appreciate you
No need to apologize. You all do a marvelous job under incredibly difficult circumstances. Obviously, walking a mile wearing another's shoes gives greater empathy and understanding. I wish you well in your journey to your new 'normal' Take care 🙏😀
Thank you! When i was having my heart attack the paramedics asked my neighbour was i on any medication. When she replied antidepressants for anxiety and depression they asked did i think i was having a panic attack because at that stage i was hyperventilating. Managed to tell them that i never have a ten ton truck on my chest with a panic attack. Have to say though they were very efficient and once the call came back from the hospital regarding the ecg they done it was all go go go. I imagine it must be very hard going into a situation "blind" and its not a job i could do so hats off to you👏👏 x
I’m sure you always did what you could but we are all human and it’s only when we experience something ourselves that we can more empathetic and even then everyone reacts differently. Hopefully you will be able to return to your post as paramedics like you are needed. 😊
Martin, i want to thank you. Paramedics are amazing i have never once had a paramedic doubt me for calling them out. Ni have congenital heart disease and angina i had a widow maker, youll know what that is. Lad dissection, heamorage. I even had a paramedic notice i was having a tia, so thanks for the wonderful service you do and i hope you recover soon, hugs sara
Oh bless you Martin. No need to apologise, your job has to be one of the most difficult jobs out there. You and your colleagues should earn the sort of salaries that celebrities and sports stars get.
I hope that your recovery goes well and that you are able to return to work
Hi Jako999 very well written and touching. I am a retired mental health nurse, I spent many years explaining the importance of taking prescribed medication, but I never fully understood how difficult it is taking medication that you don't want to take and know full well that most medication comes with side effects as well as benefits. I wish you well.
Well, I suppose we all have to walk in the other person's shoes before we can know how they feel. I said this to a cardiologist at rehab who opined that too many heart patients never know when to stop returning to the hospital with "trifling" non-specific symptoms. It's not trifling if you have something weird happening to a vital organ that's keeping you alive. On the other hand, I think that nurses, doctors, paramedics, etc. are generally trying to give us a boost by saying we'll be fine and we're "fixed". I don't have a problem with it. On balance, it's better than commiserating in their misery.
Sorry you've become a member of the club, but hopefully a speedy recovery, both physically and mentally. As with so many of my fellow hearties, the Paramedics and Ambulance workers, Nurses and Cardiologists, in fact all of the NHS have been truly wonderful, literally life savers. What's to apologise for?
I'd bet, when we all look back, we wished we'd laughed more, helped more, listened more, just been there more, but hindsight has always been in 20/20 vision, hasn't it?
I guess what I'm trying to say is something from my training days.... I hear, I forget...I see, I remember....I do, I understand.
I'm just thankful we are still here to understand. Good luck
You really don't need to apologise - paramedics saved my husband's life when he had a ruptured AAA. They have also been incredibly kind and caring to me in my last two trips to A&E. Paramedics are great!Wishing you well X
I had a dreadful paramedic when I had a heart attack. I'd never been the patient in an ambulance before. I was calm. The paramedic handed a copy of the ecg to my daughter and said "Keep that to show the next bus that comes along what's normal for your Mum" infering I was some kind of nuisance frequent flyer. When I looked at it when I got home several days later.........it stated something like "Check for blockage LAD" which was exactly right. This paramedic also suggested to the A&E Team that I had White Coat Syndrome, and I was initially left alone in a bare cubicle on a trolley. I think she had a personality disorder. My daughter saw the Ambulance driver have a quiet word with a Doctor and I was then quickly moved to resus.
On the other hand my daughter (a type 1 diabetic) has been the patient in an ambulance on several occasions..........and they have always been just fantastic.
Hi Jako, I think what you describe is how we consider many life experiences that affect others but not necessarily us at the time we see or hear about it. It boils down to the simple view that no-one can judge another (or their fear/pain) until they have walked a mile in those shoes.That said, the career you chose is to help people and I'm betting that this is both what you've done, what you do and what you're very good at.
You're just seeing things from a slightly different perspective now; you're wearing the shoes. I know there have been times in my past when I consider I could have been more supportive/understanding/helpful/a better listener.
My suggestion is to keep offering your support to others on this forum; you may very well not realize just how valuable your input will be to so many who turn to Healthunlocked for help and guidance when they feel lost, frightened, abandoned or simply bewildered and confused.
Hello Jako999, thank you for your lovely post and like so many others have said there really is no need whatsoever to apologise. The. Paramedics I was with were brilliant and I could not be more grateful. I do so hope your recovery is going well and that you are feeling much much better very soon. Take care, Judi
Hi. In the last 10 months I’ve been taken to hospital by paramedics 5 times. Prior to this I’d never been in an ambulance. On 4 occasions the paramedics were absolutely amazing, particularly after my stroke. Only on one occasion did they try and fob me off and told me I’d be fine to stay at home. it turned out that I had sepsis and my daughter, who is a nurse prac, insisted they took me to hospital. I think there is good and bad in every job but the pressures upon the nhs can make even the best healthcare professionals suffer burnout. I’m extremely grateful to those who do such a brilliant job despite the difficulties they are facing. I suspect that you have always been one of the good guys. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for.
Paramedics do a wonderful job, They don’t know what’s in front of them or what happens afterwards.Experience on all matters influences our judgement and the way we deal with things.
You should be proud of the help you have given all those strangers and take comfort in the fact you did it without knowing that person.
My recent experience of paramedics was terrific. After a few heart attacks, I recognised the symptoms when another was taking place. My wife phoned for an ambulance and when they arrived, the care and reassurance given then and on the way to hospital was wonderful. The time spent in Resus until a bed was available is another story.
What a humble post. Good luck with your recovery.We called 999 2 days after I came home from hospital after a triple heart bypass. The ambulance crew couldn’t have cared any more than they did and I was admitted overnight.
Thanks for your post Jako999. I think you can take heart that you did your job and you were always nice to people. From many of the replies on here it sounds like that is what many value the most and it certainly is the key aspects I'd be looking for in a paramedic. I know what you mean though and whilst I doubt that the demands on your time will allow you to give others as much time as you would like, you will be able to empathise and validate others experience in whatever capacity you take going forwards. I appreciate your reflections and I wish you all the best in your recovery, both physically and emotionally. Take Care
Now I would like to sing the praises of paramedics, I've always had fantastic care from them and found their manner just lovely. They're always so cheerful and positive. I think I've always had better care from them than when lying in a hospital A&E cubicle where I could die and no-one would know.
Thank you for all you do Martin and know that it's very much appreciated.
I agree the impact on mental health is huge. I used to be fit and healthy and now I'm a shell of myself after multiple bi-lateral PE following Covid. It's a bitter pill to swallow.
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I Don't Want To Go To A&E... 
Sorry i disappeared
I’m lost, what can I do and what am I just worrying about. 
Getting our medical records from Hospital and GP Surgery ,with the Virus going on. 
