on Saturday evening i had to give my Partner CPR until the ambulance arrived, 10 minutes or so. All this happened in front of my 16yr old.
my partner was on a ventilator for 2days, had a stent put in place and was discharged home on Wednesday.
i havent slept, i cant eat, i am worried about my Son, finances, everything is different and difficult
Dear Truffles52
There are no words that I can tell you that can help lift the horror that you and your family have just had to endure.
But endure it you have and at the moment you have got through such an incredible difficult time for you all.
I would imagine that with the release of your partner back to the family home that the hospital has set out plans for their illness and how they are going to be able to help them.
It must all go in stages and there is help for you all, both financially and supportive, you need to ask for it and get the ball rolling.
Your first point of call should be with your surgery who will be able to link you to the help you need.
I am devastated for you and yet full of admiration of the amazing way you stepped up to help your partner with an action that there is no doubt saved their lives, your son must be so proud of you and after all the shock and trauma that he has seen he will begin to understand.
My prayers are with you all, please do not sit there worrying and try to get the help that you all need and deserve.
Take care and please keep us informed.
Hello 
You have had one of the worst experiences anyone could go through but at the same time you are a star you no doubt helped to save your partners life !
The trauma though and no doubt flash backs must ne at this early stage coming back to fill you full of fear and time is what is now needed
I am so sorry your Son was there as this will be something that will have had an impact on him but I hope he see's his Mum as a hero as you were
Know though that your partner was in safe hands they will have had a good look round and decided a stent was needed to prevent this happening again and he has now had this done so try not to worry to much over him and focus on his recovery
When we are feeling so overwhelmed and fear sets in as well as anxiety the mind goes into overdrive and all the what "if's" start going round our heads 100 mikes an hour
When this happens then tell yourself a day at a time that is all I have to think about the what "if's " how will I cope I will do them when and if I need to
I think maybe talking to your Doctor will be a great idea you may need some support in fact all of you may need some to help you come through what has been a very traumatic time so I would make an appointment and tell them exactly what you have said in your post
As for your finances I would contact my local Citizens advice bureau and make an appointment they are brilliant they will tell you how to cope with any finance worries you have and even be able to tell you what you maybe able to claim and once they have then that will be a weight lifted of your shoulders as you will see you will be able to cope
Just one thing try and keep up with the priority bills like Mortgage / Rent , Gas & elec , Council tax , if they become a struggle let them know and the reasons why and anyone else you may owe money to most wish to help but never ignore anything but again if you need this kind of help Citizens advice will help you sort it all out
Try and eat a little just small amounts and know you will sleep you will still be in shock
I hope everything works out your Partners recovery goes from strength to strength and you will keep letting us know how you are all doing x
all i can say is well done to you, Truffle52, farrrrrrrr too little adults and teenagers do not know how to do CPR and that 10 minutes that you had to do before paramedics got there kept your partner supplied with oxygen. you are a superstar!!!!
****** trigger warning suicide/emergency *******
i dont often talk about his but when my partner many years ago was a emotional alcoholic, she would have binge nights every couple of months and one Christmas was so far gone and disappointed with herself again in the early morning as i had fallen asleep. decided it was easier to find a way out and and used a knife.
thankfully she came to wake me up for help before it was too serious but i think the point i am trying to make is that when you have to intervene to save a loved ones life, its traumatic and i think matter too much if it was unexpected or deliberate when you are called into action to save a life.
it stayed with me for a number of years and true to what they say when sometimes it the supporter that takes longer to heal in panic situations. i may not be able to match what you are going though but i hope you understand that friends and random internet strangers on here will always be happy to listen to you as you cope.
i also lost my mother when i was 13 to a heart attack which the doctors were pretty sure was never recoverable as soon as she hit the floor despite cpr by off duty doctors as it was in a venue so not every story ends with a save so keep hope.
hopefully you can get some rest soon
Well done you for using the CPR. That must have been so difficult. Your partner is so lucky to have you. All I can offer is loving thoughts to all of you, and the hope that things get better.
Hi. I’m so sorry for what you have been through it must have been incredibly traumatic for you. You were amazing though as there is no doubt that you helped to save your husbands life. You have set an incredible example to your son. What you are experiencing now is probably the reaction to the trauma that you went through. Some people can remain calm and level headed in the moment and it isn’t until days afterwards that it hits them. Your son will be ok but it may take time. My 21yr old son found me after I had a stroke last year and he also didn’t see me for 2 months when I was hospitalised as there was no visiting. It scared the hell out of him but as soon as he could see that I was going to be ok he started to relax a bit and now he’s back to living his life to the full again. I’m hoping it will be the same for your son. Your partner wouldn’t have been discharged if they were worried and I’m hoping that his recovery goes well. You need some time to process what has happened. In terms of finances speak to citizens advice and see if you are eligible for benefits. Your husband might be able to claim pip etc. I hope that all goes well for you, please let us know how you get on.
Dear Truffle52Your story, dreadful as it is, brings home powerfully how fragile life can be. And how lives can change in an instant. You also speak clearly about the impact of events on every member of a family.
What you have been through, and are still going through was traumatic in the real sense of the word. What you did for your partner undoubtedly saved his life. What you are experiencing now is a natural reaction to those events. All I can say is talk. Talk to your partner, to your son, to close friends and to your GP and see what help is available for you all, including your son if he wants it.
I am in awe of your actions and your courage and wish you every happiness going forward - you all deserve it. Meanwhile my heart and thoughts go out to you as you all piece together being a different kind of family.
Truffle you have done something amazing. My husband did this for me two weeks ago today but thankfully my heart re-started after 3 minutes or so. Your experience sounds much worse but they’re both traumatic.
I don’t have any useful advice but wanted to send on my awe of what you did. It takes a truly special person to do this and not freeze/lose their cool. Amazing!
Hi Truffle52, First of all I would like to say how amazing you were to get through that horrible emergency with your partner's health and to save his life.I'm sure it was so difficult for you but you managed a task that even professionals find challenging.
I'm sure that your son was quite horrified but also so thankful that Dad could be saved. Your partner is probably also in a state of shock but also adjusting to his changed health situation.
You are all traumatised and you'll need support with that.Have you got those around you that can help? Your GP could refer you for trauma counselling which will help you process what you went through. Try to talk with your son to see how he's feeling. Perhaps another family member or friend could support him too.
With regards to finances etc. try to get support with that.Is there anyone you trust who could find out what you are entitled to? If not, the Citizens Advice bureau could help.
More importantly try to take time just to be with your loved ones and hold them close. Cardiac events are a stark reminder of how fragile life is but you're a winner and life will reach a new normal in time.Take care.
Hi, I am so sorry you & your family have gone through this ordeal but well done you for coping at the time and having the patience of mind to do CPR. A game changer for your partner.Hopefully now all sorts of help, treatment & advice will kick in and you won't find yourself in that situation again. Its a huge trauma for you and your 16yr old, do talk yo yourGP for both of you as well as your partner.
May I suggest you contact the BHF nurses on here who will be able to offer advice & guidance at this difficult time. Sending healing vibes to you all.
Dear Truffle52 I am so sorry you have have such a traumatic thing happen but all the wonderful advice you have been given here I’m sure will help. You did an amazing thing and it’s no wonder you are having an emotional crisis. I’m sure you will be having flashbacks and that will go on for a long time. Your son witnessed it and yes it will affect him but it won’t perhaps all be in a bad way, it will make him realise just how fragile life is and I’m sure bring you all closer together.
Please take all the advice about having some counselling as that will definitely help. Six years ago my husband very suddenly died at home and nothing could be done. I refused counselling but realise now I should have taken it. We had over 40 years together you sound much younger and still have many years ahead, I hope your husband and yourself have a long and happy life. Take care.
Hello Truffle52,
I am so sorry for what you have been through. I too had to do CPR on my husband in January this year. While I waited for the paramedics to arrive being talked through with the lady on the phone. John started to breathe just as they arrived but she said I had to keep going. It’s not like it looks on the tv it’s really hard work.
I found I was reliving the scene I would see myself doing the CPR and know I was getting tired just praying they would get to me quickly.
It takes time to come to terms with what as happened, I spoke to our GP and found that helpful. The practicalities try speaking to citizen advice, don’t know your ages but there is help out there financial and they can point you in the right direction.
You have a teenage son so you need the information about what happened to your husband so you can answer his questions.
I am sending you so much good wishes, remember you are now a member of the heart family here on the forum. We can lend a ear to listen or even a shoulder to lean on if that’s what you need.
Best wishes Pauline
Hello Truffle52, I am not able to add anything else to the fabulous comments and thoughts from the other hearties on the forum. Except to say my thoughts are with you. Please reach out for as much help as you can. That help will also help you all recover from a very traumatic experience. Remember what a fabulous brave lady you are in saving your partners life. Take care, Judi 🙏
Not s urprised you are badly shaken up and worried after that. People who have to do CPR often suffer post traumatic stress. Have a talk to your doctor about that and get some counselling. As for your husband, if he only needed a stent that sounds pretty good but do go with him to his next appointment to hear what's said about his recovery and prospects. You are bound to be thinking about worst case scenario just now but a heart attack, even a MI is not the end. With the right treatment he can make a full recovery. Do talk to your doctor about your worries.
It’s exhausting even when it’s someone else, throws you completely. How are you now you’ve had time to breathe? How is your 16yr holding up?
It helps to write things down, work, health plans, finances etc
It must have been so traumatic for you at the time and also your Son. But thankfully the ambulance didn't take long to arrive and you certainly saved his life. Just hope you can all come to terms with everything and carry on enjoying life. Take care Brian
Hi TRuffle52I think you have saved more than one life.
I too am now goign to make sure me and my family all know how to do CPR.
Time will heal - it's old but it's true.
You might feel like you're taking the first tentative steps into a scary new world, but you will grow in confidence every day. Please do reach out for help when you need.
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