How to manage Anxiety?: Hello Everyone... - British Heart Fou...

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How to manage Anxiety?

ClaydonAR profile image
33 Replies

Hello Everyone,

I had a HA at the age of 33 and had Quintuple Bypass surgery following that. This was 2.5 years ago, and I am still struggling to manage my Anxiety. I constantly feel that the next HA or something even worse, is round the corner. I exercise everyday, work Full time, do Mindfulness and am also doing 1:1 counselling. Has anyone managed to find something that they have found to be helpful??

Many Thanks

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ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR
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33 Replies

Hello :-)

I am so sorry you went through such a traumatic event at such a young age

I had anxiety from a child and was 58 before I had my heart attacks followed by a triple Bypass and I totally understand those thoughts you are having as mine are the same even though it is 10 months since I had my surgery but I feel will this ever go away will I ever be able to live again without this dooming feeling and fear regarding my heart

Members are really supportive on here and so many have always said to me you have a brand new heart now look after it and it will serve you well

I try and hold onto that thought as difficult as it is but I see those words do make sense

It sounds like you are keeping fit and doing all you can regarding helping your anxiety and I cannot suggest anything else you can do but you have found this Community and you will get lots of help and support and knowing you are not alone really does help to :-)

Some members that are not anxious will tell you how well they are doing which is great to hear and gives you hope :-)

I am sorry as I am anxious that I cannot give you better advice but others will be able to :-) x

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR in reply to

Hello BeKind28,

Thank you for such a prompt and lovely reply. I have seen you commenting quite often on peoples posts and honestly, it’s people like you that keep this forum as helpful as it is.

And you have chosen a Perfect username for yourself too.

Yes, I see your point about having a new heart and new lease on life and I will try to hold on to that thought as tight as you have been.

And I am sorry that you have lived most of your life with Anxiety. After experiencing it, I know and understand how exhausting it is to live with it and to still continue to somehow have a normal life.

in reply to ClaydonAR

Hello :-)

Thank you so much for such kind words they mean a lot as you know when you are an anxious person or have anxiety it can deflate your self worth with it to so it means a lot to me what you have said in your reply :-)

If it helps my Dad was young like you were when he had a quadruple Bypass and that was years ago when they were not as advance as they are now he did not suffer with anxiety though but he got on with life he had his own businesses he traveled the world he liked good food and drink and he walked went swimming and went golfing and he lived to be 77 and then his heart was still going strong it was cancer that took him

So younger people like you and especially now with their advance ways they can go on to live a normal long and happy life :-)

I have a feeling when you have come to terms with this and for some it does take longer you will be one of those people that goes on to live a long and happy life :-)

Keep doing what you are doing you will get there :-) x

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR

Thanks a lot BeKind28 for sharing your Dad’s story with me. That has given me optimism and huge encouragement to lead a hopeful life with positive attitude. I am sure that he must be proud of you and everything that You have achieved till date, when looking down from the Heaven.

And yes, I do strongly hope that I soon come to term with this, so that I can lead a normal life and inspire others the way you have inspired me today to take control, and be the best version of yourself, no matter what.

I wish you a long and abundant life. Not just for yourself but also possibly for hundreds of others like me, that you will continue to help and provide a reason to smile.

in reply to ClaydonAR

Hello :-)

There are so many positive stories out there it can be a case of people seem to want to tell the negative ones more which a fewer but get more attention for some reason and again when we are anxious we tend to take the negative one's onboard rather than the positive ones

I have been in a fret ever since I had my op and my Doctor said to me your heart will be better than mine now and I said don't be silly and she said I am not so I asked how could it be which she replied because you have brand new clean arteries pumping blood around it and even though I try and look after myself mine won't be as clean as yours all you have to do now is look after them :-)

Another positive thought when those negative one's try and pop in your head you can think of yours are brand new :-)

You can do this I know you can :-)

Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy it :-) x

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR in reply to

BeKind28, you have been lucky to have such an encouraging Dr. Unfortunately, my Cardiologist has been nothing but a disappointment. Some, perhaps because of their personality or who they are and others, due to the time constraints do not provide you with the attention and guidance that you need in such difficult times. We expect our Drs to have answers but they need to take time to first get to know our questions. But what your Dr said could very well be true.

And yes, there are perhaps more positive stories out there and I hope people share more of those but when you are low, I think you only find or focus on the negatives.

I am so glad that I am a member of this forum and that I have had such positive responses to my post. I really hope that some day I will be sharing my positive story and thoughts with other members of this forum.

in reply to ClaydonAR

Hello :-)

If you think about when a car needs a new engine it stops running , they pop a new engine in and it is good as new and runs for years to come :-)

Now they have popped some new arteries to your heart so it is as good as new to :-)

It is only my GP that is really good with me to which I am so grateful

I have had so many especially when I have been in Hospital bad experiences where they have not been as understanding which has had me in tears if I am honest as you feel different enough and anxiety I know cannot be seen so can be difficult to understand yet I always say you do not have to understand it just know that it is hurting that person and listen to them , as sometimes listening goes such a long way :-)

I have read you are in the medical profession ?

I always think everything happens for a reason as the saying goes and even though we may not have wanted it to happen maybe the reason is because we can then help or try to help the next person we meet going through the same

Whatever you do in your job I can imagine you can turn this dreadful experience round and put it to good use as it will have made you so much more understanding having gone through these feelings and trying to overcome them :-) x

Nettekin profile image
Nettekin

Hi ClaydonAR. I was sorry to read of your experiences and at such a young age.I had my ha nearly 3 years ago and I have recovered well physically, but I think I am still in denial. It is as if every time my thoughts stray towards what happened, I put up a brick wall and do not allow myself to fully explore my feelings or even remember the hospital stay and treatment.

I have been starting to look at something called ACT recently, which stands for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It looks promising, but still early days in my research. For me, accepting what happened is probably the key, as it was completely unexpected without warning.

You say you are anxious, but your post came over as being very positive in terms of working and looking after yourself. I hope your therapy will help you. Best wishes x

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR in reply to Nettekin

Hello Nettekin,

Thank you for your reply. And thank you for being brave enough to share your feelings. And yes, acceptance Is the first step to recovery. Some days I feel that I have accepted what has happened with me and other days I feel that I haven’t. As Heyjude has said below, I know that I have PTSD and it took me a while to accept that too. When I had my HA, I was in my way to work when I just collapsed and woke up in hospital 13 days later. It was a shock and I have no memory of those 13 days.

My anxiety is also because I haven’t got a reference point. Because I don’t recall anything, any of the things that I might experience through the day (increased heart beat, an ache or pain in the chest, tender scar or sudden thumping of my heart- even thought momentarily) sets off a chain reaction of emotions, thoughts and physical symptoms. It becomes difficult to determine what is actually true and which symptoms are a result of my increased anxiety as I don’t recall my experience when it happened. So I don’t know what I was feeling at that particular time and how, compared to then are my current symptoms different. Also, it becomes extremely difficult to continue dealing with these inside whilst you are dealing with your patients who are sat in front of you (as anxiety can hit you at any time). I am certainly trying my best to overcome this all and accepting what has happened but as everyone has suggested, I guess I just need to give it some time. I will also try and research into ACT.

Many Thanks

Heyjude31 profile image
Heyjude31

Hello ClaydonAR, you have had some of the best support you can get on this forum from BeKind, she is an example for us all in terms of support, though I don’t think she will admit it! I am so very sorry about your anxiety it is SO difficult to come to terms with at whatever age and for you even more so with your young age. I had 4 x bypass 8 months ago and I too struggle every day with anxiety. Due to chronic nausea and anxiety I was admitted to hospital, also because I had lost a lot of weight and was becoming quite frail. After 2 weeks in hospital and armed with some new medications I came home and am slowly getting better. I never thought that our experience could be described as PTSD as that sounded quite extreme, but since spending time with a counsellor I think it is true. It is undoubtedly a life changing event and above all else we need to be kind to ourselves. We do need to hang onto the fact that as BeKind said we have brand new arteries which may well be healthier than a lot of people! I try to ensure I keep myself busy and distracted either in the garden or with family or reading a good book. As well as doing some exercise and some work. Having looked at your bio I understand you are in the medical profession which I imagine is not always easy, my advice is to be kind to yourself, continue with the counselling, it will get easier in time, which I also have to believe. Someone said to me I need to learn to trust my body again and I think that’s also true it just takes time. Take care and continue to talk and share we are always here for each other. Judi

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR in reply to Heyjude31

Thank you Heyjude for taking time to reply to my post and also for sharing your experience. I am glad to know that there is someone else out there who also agrees that we have PTSD. And yes, even I thought that people who are diagnosed with PTSD have been through way worse than us.

Am very thankful to you, BeKind and Nettekin for responding to my post. It feels good to share your experience with people who have been through something similar and who can understand what we have been or are going through.

Yes, I am a medical professional and I have with my whole heart, always tried my best to give my undivided attention to my patients. Sometimes my assessments have changed into therapy sessions but I am glad that I was or am there to just listen to my patients to see them offload atleast part of the burden that they have been carrying around and dealing with possibly on their own. I strongly believe that in order ti care for somebody else, firstly you got to care for yourself. And that is what at times I struggle with. If I am dealing with my own anxiety in the background, I feel that I am not being fair towards my patients or even my own family and friends. It makes you feel guilty and I think that is what I must first accept. I must accept that it is okay to feel this way and also that I am still trying my best to be the best that I can be. And perhaps that is half the battle won.

I am a Musculoskeletal specialist by the way, so if anyone of you need any suggestions on aches and pains of your joints or muscles, I will be more than happy to offer my insight. Take care.

in reply to Heyjude31

Thank You for your kind words when you mentioned me in your reply :-)

You talk a lot of sense through your own experiences you have and are going through which is now helping others :-) x

Gail1967 profile image
Gail1967

Hi- I thought I was young at 51 to have a bypass but wow in your 30’s I can imagine that leaves lots of questions about why! Have you found out what made the difference to you? Once I understood the why behind mine it made my head more straight - knowledge is power- & then I have been able to research things. It may not work for everyone but having a bit more understanding has helped me.

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR in reply to Gail1967

Thank you for your reply Gail1967. I agree that having more understanding and answers would probably help, and I intend to ask these questions to my Cardiologist during my next appointment.

Carercmb profile image
Carercmb

So very sorry and yes you are doing everything you can with the exercise.“Be kind “on this forum has been a great support and this is maybe what was missing for you.Never underestimate the power of support.

My neighbour who lives alone suffered the same problems 10 years ago, he had no visitors and was totally independent and coped well even servicing his own car at 85! and managing a huge garden .

All I do is offer a chat and a meal which has been done through his window since COVID, at 94 he is better than ever and staying very positive.

Also I have learnt be kind to yourself don’t expect too much , small steps get you where you want to be in the end.All best wishes and good luck .💕

Neil2566 profile image
Neil2566

Hi,

I’m now 56, at 34 I had my HA and 3x CABG.

In the last 22 years the only time I’ve stopped myself doing anything is when I physically couldn’t do it (and that’s not often)

You can’t allow the thoughts of what’s going to happen next to take control, live your life and enjoy it because when you let it control you it’s an existence not life.

If something is going to happen it will, so why wait just carry on.

I had a Cardiac Arrest on April 19 this year, I now have an ICD and intend to carry on as before otherwise what’s the point of being here if you aren’t going to enjoy it.

Take control and enjoy your life.

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR in reply to Neil2566

Thank you for sharing your story and experience Neil. I am so happy and optimistic after reading your story. I have a son who is 3.5 years old and it is his worry that keeps troubling me. I have been more worried about not being there for him, to help him navigate through this world. But the stories shared on this post have definitely helped me a lot. Many thanks.

MountainGoat52 profile image
MountainGoat52

Hi ClaydonAR,

I've not much to add to what others have said, except to say that when I was offered bypass surgery at the age of 65, my surgeon said he didn't expect me to need any further intervention for at least 25 years... and that with me being fairly well aged already! I knew his advice to be true as I have a friend slightly older than myself who had a bypass in his 30s and that was over 40 years ago and he is extremely fit and well. 😀

Since I had my surgery I have quite literally gone onto bigger and better things. I now climb larger mountains, often achieving a couple of Munros in a day... plus the effort to drive about 4 hours each way to get there! I carry amateur radio equipment with me (my other pastime), so my pack is usually around 11kg and it's often a very full day... from 3am to 10pm.

Your worries are entirely understandable and I really hope that you can overcome them. As Neil says, take control and enjoy your life. That philosophy has certainly worked for me.

With my very best wishes for the future,

Gerald

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR in reply to MountainGoat52

Thank you Gerald for your words of motivation. I do intend to become more active and find a hobby to keep me active and motivated. I do like mountain climbing and hiking, being in nature in general. So I will probably look into doing that more often.

All the best and I hope that you keep on conquering more mountains.

MountainGoat52 profile image
MountainGoat52 in reply to ClaydonAR

I hope that you get back to enjoying the great outdoors. I've just bought a backpacking tent so I will soon be getting even closer to nature! This at the age of 70... must be mad! 😁

Heyjude31 profile image
Heyjude31 in reply to MountainGoat52

Hello GWP1952 I just wanted to say your comment about your Cardiologist not seeing you for 25 years, is a real positive and really helpful, thank you. It certain,y made me feel better today. Judi

MountainGoat52 profile image
MountainGoat52 in reply to Heyjude31

Hi Judi, yes the comment made by the surgeon was indeed very encouraging and this tipped the balance for me to take up the offer of bypass surgery rather than having further stents. I realise that it was a real privilege to receive the offer.

uzininemm profile image
uzininemm

Hello, my experience may not help (sorry if it waste of time) but then again it might.

Since the age of 10 I have suffered from psoriasis and whilst having some good mates and a very supportive family who through the years saw me who I was, others didn't and it led to bullying as a tenager and being treated negatively (for example when swimming and at times at work) when I was older. This certainly had a negative impact on mental health and there were times when I felt pretty worthless. Mindfullness etc. never seemed to suit me(It is only recently I have been able to talk about this).

It wasn't until I was about 20 years after in my thirties when I had a lightbulb moment when I all of a sudden thought hey you might live with me and be part of me but you are not beating me and taking over my life anymore. That was it the magic moment I now live with it, and just treat it as part of me. If anyone isn't happy with how I look then it's there loss not mine.

Sorry to go on, but move forward another 20 or so years, and for the 2 weeks before I got taken into hospital what I thought was my mental health deteriorated, and got the worst anxiety I have ever had.

I was then taken into hospital following a blood test, firstly with extremely high potassium levels, then sepsis and finally heart failure. Even though the doctor told me the first one could have killed me (as could the second) it was the HF which hit me the hardest, however after speaking to a nurse (I will be forever grateful for her advice) and thinking about it I came to the conclusion right I have a second chance I will make the most of however long I have (originally I thought it might be months), and I will set myself some challenges to see how well I can be.

Nearly a year on, the odd blip but no MH/anxiety at all, I am careful of what I eat, monitor my drink, exercise at the gym, but whilst there are things I can't do, there things are enough things to do what I can.

Sorry for the length but I thought it was important to put things into context.

My tips are this -

1) It is part of you but it is not all of you.

2) You have a second chance, make the most of ever day.

3) Use any past problems you may have had and have conquered as a positive going forward.

4) Set your some challenges, they don't have to me big or that far head, (for example improving the distance I walk, a abit longer in the garden etc and some longer term ones, for example what am I going to do in 5 years, my latest is taking out county cricket membership which I am aiming to get value for money by being here in 8 years time).

I wish you well.

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR in reply to uzininemm

Thank you for your reply uzininemm. And your experience has definitely been helpful.I am extremely grateful to you for taking time to write such a detailed response and for your tips.

I am extremely sorry that you had to deal with such people and negative emotions from such a tender age and I am pretty sure that everybody who loves you and cares for you, must be extremely proud of what you have now achieved, who you have now become and the way you are now helping others overcome what you have been through.

Qualipop profile image
Qualipop

I've suffered health anxiety since I was told very brusquely that I could have breast cancer when I was 18. I'll never forgive that GP. IT became so bad that I had a breakdown almost 30 years ago. Now it's still there lurking in the background but I'm now in control, not the anxiety. ( well most of the time. The ONLY Thing that helped me was being taught self hypnosis together with a relaxation technique. When I feel it starting or recognise the start of a panic attack, I stop what I'm doing and take control then do the relaxation exercises which are basically start at your feet, tighten them then relax them, move slowly up your body tightening and relaxing each part not forgetting your face and head. Try to find someone who is good at that kind of hypnotherapy. It may be difficult. I went to a GP who had supposedly trained and he was utterly useless . I have always refused tablets because I want to be in control not some chemical. It does still beat me occasionally but it's very rare. Try to work out what the trigger was for your anxiety. It could go back long before your bypass. Then put that into perspective.

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR in reply to Qualipop

Thank you for your reply Qualipop and I am sorry that you had to deal with such an awful GP. I am glad that you found something that has helped you over the years and the reason for my post as to understand what different things people have tried for their anxiety and what has been helpful. I know that every person is different and will have different reasons to different therapies, modalities or treatments but I just wanted to know what was out there for me to try. I will certainly research into what you have told me

Handel profile image
Handel

Hello ClaydonAR. You've had some really helpful replies from the lovely people in this community. I joined the forum about 4 years ago when my husband was seriously ill with his heart. He had a quadruple bypass but was twice your age when his heart was sorted out.

He hasn't looked back since and I can say it changed his life for the better.

I don't know where I would have been without support from Health Unlocked.

I think feeling you have support and can post questions about how you are feeling at any time will help enormously. It's sometimes nice in a weird way to know other people are going through or have been through the same experiences.

I'll resist talking of my chronic joint and muscle pain now you've told us you're a musculoskeletal specialist!!!!!

All the very best to you. Jan xxxxx

ClaydonAR profile image
ClaydonAR in reply to Handel

Hello Jan/Handel. Thanks for your response. I am glad that your husband’s surgery has helped him so much (ofcourse it would have been better if he hadn’t had the HA in the first place).

I completely agree that this forum and its people have been really kind and helpful. The experiences and stories that everyone has shared have uplifted my spirit and has provided me with great optimism.

Also, I don’t mind you asking me any question about your joint and muscle pain. I will try to guide you the best way possible.

Handel profile image
Handel in reply to ClaydonAR

Hi ClaydonAR,Yes, I agree. The people on this forum are so kind and helpful.

As for my chronic pain - well, I've had this for about 18 years following C3/4 spine surgery. Regrettably, cancer was found during surgery so I was unable to have physio because of chemo and radiotherapy!! I'm still here and thankful for that so I can live with the pain, annoying as it is!!

I'm so glad you've found this forum and in time, you'll be able to post and help others.

Love and hugs. Jan xx

Togden87 profile image
Togden87

Hi Claydon,I’m sorry to that you’ve had to go through this. I’ve only just found this forum as I had a 3 heart attacks one night after rugby training last year at 34. I’ve just been to my second rehab session and been told I may have PTSD after having a little breakdown while speaking with the nurse. It’s hard trying to find information on people around our age that this has happened to.

Ascb profile image
Ascb

I am sorry you've experienced this. Just wanted to ensure that you know that you can get free mental health care through your local IAPT service. If you refer yourself, at your assessment ask to be seen by a therapist who is trained in Long Term Conditions. This is based very much on the therapy that has already been mentioned - ACT. Also the acceptance part of ACT isn't about a kind of shrugging shoulders but an acceptance that what you're experiencing, anxiety, is a completely normal human response to what you've been through. The Commitment part of ACT is committing to act in ways that enhance your life even though anxiety is present. I'd really encourage you to see someone trained in this approach.

I send all best wishes to you and your family.

gazzalowe profile image
gazzalowe

I would suggest meditation for 15 minutes twice a day would make a huge improvement. Search for Dr. Herbert Benson, The Relaxation Response.You can learn this in 10 minutes and it works. The evidence is SOLID....your body and mind take a mini-vacation twice a day.

The only 2 things you can do wrong is to force yourself to have a "good " meditation and not meditate at all.

This is not new-age nonsense....research Benson....scientific facts

Please take this suggestion seriously. I have done this meditation twice a day for over 30 years.

heart_surgery profile image
heart_surgery

I had an ascending aorta aneurysm for years and last year around August I had my aorta cut out and replaced with a dacron implant by Mario Petrou. Every day I think about the seam between the plastic tube implant and my aorta failing or leaking or ripping open and I imagine a catastrophic end, it's impossible for organic material to bond to synthetic material so that will never heal together. I am overwhelmed with anxiety sometimes especially when I get renewed chest pain. I am having a lot of trouble dealing with the anxiety. I have visions of what they did to get into my body, Ihave trouble dealing with that.

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