I've been home from hospital for a week now after having a heart attack on 16th September and having two stents fitted. Am awaiting a double bypass.
Thought I may have starting feeling a bit less anxious but I haven't. I gave up smoking and haven't smoked for 10'days now. I'm so glad but miss it so much. Trying hard every day to try and get on with life but am feeling so deeply sad, lonely and scared. My daughter and granddaughter live with me and I have some amazing friends and know how loved and lucky I am. But this sadness seems to go so deep. It's almost like mourning....for the life I had before and feel I won't have again. Can't seem to find things to fill the day or keep my mind occupied as all my thoughts keep going back to the day of my heart attack. How do I get beyond what has happened and start to get back to normal?
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EwaUK
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Hi hope you feeling ok most of us on this forum will tell you at first it’s difficult but don’t worry don’t give up think positive and enjoy uself with u granddaughter and daughter who u can talk to and they must be so happy that you r recovering I sometimes still feel sad after four years of ha but there’s nothing we can do just thank god we still
Alive and enjoy wh we have got so try stay happy and healthy and you will find on this forum many friendly people wishing you the best
Slow down. August 2nd 17.55 2029 I had HA. Blue light to Aberdeen Royal Infirmary. Emergency stent and admitted to ward. Because of what they found was in hospital for two weeks being accessed. After consultation had triple bypass 16th October.
So don’t be anxious or sad. I stopped smoking seven months prior to my HA. Aged 62 I feel I have been given a second chance at life. You may not feel like that now but trust me you will. Just put your faith in our fantastic cardio teams and you will come out of this a new person. Normality will be different and a new experience but in my case better.
Be positive and thinking of your family will inspire you to a better outlook
It is really early days since you had your heart attack, it takes time to come to terms with what as happened, your brain is still processing what as happened to your heart. Plus you know you have bypass surgery to have. Not easy.
I had Aortic valve replaced and bypass done and first let me say it’s not as bad as your imagination is making it. When you get your date just post and someone will go through what to expect.
You have done the best thing to help yourself by giving up smoking, that is going to make you feel down, but it’s something that needs to be done.
When you say you feel like your grieving for the life you had, well it is a bit like that, we go along and suddenly the rug is pulled from under our feet and our life changes. Now I am 4 years on from my op and my life is good, not the same as I have medication to take and doctors appointments yearly echocardiogram but I am grateful every day to the medical team that gave me my life back.
Things will improve, just takes a little while. There are lots of us here on the forum who will tell you the same.
Congratulations on quitting smoking, that's an amazing achievement and you should feel very proud of yourself!
With that one, single action you have massively increased your chances for not just many more years, but also many more HEALTHY years. There is no medication or treatment that comes even close to delivering the benefits that you've just achieved through your own determination and will power!
Thank you...just what I needed to hear and I am proud of myself as I never thought I'd see the day when I stopped smoking. Your words have helped enormously x
Thank you. Difficult times and can only hope for the best moving forward. Best wishes to you
Sounds to me like you're suffering from ptsd. I had the same after my heart attack. Give Mind a call, they'll discuss it with you and it'll help. Don't worry, it passes. Your life has changed and your mind takes time catching up. We all think we're invincible until something like this comes along.. 😉
Hello friend, Make a list of things you are grateful for, however small! I believe you are mourning for things you may have been able to do before. Life never stays the same. Things are always changing, but try to embrace the changes and you will see opportunities. Obviously, I don’t know how young you are, but do you have a hobby? Read about other people who have had similar challenges in their lives and how they’ve overcome them. We’re stronger than we think.
I will put myself out here now and tell you I’m a Christian and I believe in the power of prayer. Whoever you believe God to be, pray to Him for strength and endurance. I guarantee if you just TRY, He will lift your burdens so that they will become lighter. Speak to him as if you are speaking to a trusted friend, as he is!
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths”. Proverbs 3: verses 5 and 6.
I have done this and it works.
I hope you don’t mind, but I will say prayers for you and your future operation. With my best best of wishes, Pam Fitzpatrick
I have just turned 69 but have always felt 20 in my head. Always been active and full on but no particular hobbies as such. Reading and music (rock and heavy metal) have always been my passion.
I do have great faith and I'm thankful each and every day that I survived the HA and am able to have further surgery to help me . I know things will improve but it's just the suddenness of it all. Plus having to face my own mortality. Your prayers would be very gratefully received. Thank you
Yes I felt the same after my triple bypass, had the op 6 months ago, and now feeling better, I smoked for many years, and now getting used to it, and you will get your lows as I did, but enjoy your new chance at life.
I found getting used to the medication is difficult, but you will be fine I am sure
It took a long time for me to get my head around what had happened to me . My body had let me down , I had HA and one stent in April this year .
I think you are in total shock still and agree with last post appears to be a bit of ptsd ? I had CBT therapy as I had this the therapist was lovely and know I honestyfeel
Like a different person post HA.
I treasure life now and look forward
But it took me a while to get where I am.
Feel sure you’ll get there ,use this forum it helped me immensely.
Had a stent in main artery ..smoked 40 yrs never thaught I could pack in smoking used to tell myself smoke or die 5mth later no fags ..have ist appointment on Oct 28th ..check stent etc ..
Hi, What you are feeling is normal, you have just had a terrifying event happen to you. My heart attacks were 16 months ago with stents, no open heart surgery thankfully. However I was a complete mess emotionally, physically and mentally, and stopping smoking didn't help, even though it was killing me, not had a cigarette since the day of my heart attacks. I understand how you are feeling, scared, lonely, anxious and your life has changed. Life does change, you have just had a life changing event happen to you, this has happened to your family too. Talk to them, tell them your scared, anxious, they need to know how your feeling. Talk to your GP or cardiac team. This site is a " lifeline", it certainly was for me. Good luck, sure you will be fine, it just takes time to heal, emotionally, physically and mentally, your life will be a bit different but soon you will be thankful you survived, we are the lucky ones! Well done not smoking, although i could enjoy one right now! Takes a long time not to reach for one believe me! Feel free to chat further, take care.xx
I had a blue light trip back in 1996 two jump starts 10 days in ICU only given medication yes you feel sad I did but you found theBHF stay positive and don’t go back to smoking I gave up the day of my HA 25 years later and lots of ups another two HA have just had two stents fitted in the last month but feeling great hang on in there
I was like that in the beginning. I’m four months post heart attack and 2 stents. Now I just try not to think about it and just be grateful for the life I have. I know I can’t change anything with worry and all I’m doing is taking away from the life I could have. I don’t worry about things I used to, like money and people’s opinions. I embrace life. I’ll be that that lady in the middle of the dance floor, that doesn’t give a damn. I take time to tell the people that I love, that I love them and take time to show it. I’ve cut out the negative people in my life that probably contributed to my demise and I feel sooo much better within myself. I’ve accepted that people do die. I can’t run from it, I can’t hide but I will do my best to ensure that it’s later rather than sooner.
Hi, love your post love your attitude, I had open heart surgery 4 years ago, and decided then I had to do everything I could to keep my mended heart as healthy as I could, to live my life as best I could, my cardiologist told me I had to stop putting others first and look to myself. I am grateful every day to the medical team that gave me my life back.
We have come through our heart issues so we make the best we can of the life we have now.
Keep getting stronger and hope your recovery goes really well.
Hi like 080311 I love your attitude. I am 4 months post HA and stent as well and am still coming to terms with it. You have just reiterated everything I have been telling myself in between bouts of emotional crying for no reason (never contemplated ptsd). We need to be thankful we survived and have more time to be with the people we love doing what we love.
You will get used to it as time goes by and eventually get to days when you don’t give it a thought. When I came out of hospital I was determined to get back to normal and that outlook has helped me. Take care good luck and enjoy life 👍
Hello EwaUK and welcome to this amazing site. I had my `heart episode` in April. It took a while to come to terms with this new way of life/thinking. One day at a time is my mantra, just listen to your body. If it says that it needs a rest, do just that. Take care and keep listening to that music. I love to dance (when no one is looking) to 60`s music. x
I was born 47 so like you the 60s were my years my first job was in Liverpool so went to the Caven in lunch hour! Mum thought I ate my lunch in the office!
Hey there, no matter how you are feeling right now you will get through this and probably feel better than ever. I had a quadruple bypass in December of 2019. I felt exactly the same as you are describing. Maybe you have read that close to half of people who have had heart surgery temporarily suffer with depression and or anxiety. You will feel better. Once I started getting back to my normal routine I began to have more periods where I felt normal. After about 3 months my days were much better. Even though I do not like medications, my doctor prescribed a temporary dose of Lexipro and Xanax. I was on the Xanax for about 8 weeks and I have continued with the low dose of Lexipro even though I can probably ween off of it now. These medications really helped while I recovered. Better days are ahead.
Thanks for your positive reply. I had heard about depression after heart problems but suppose you never think it's going to happen to you. Trying hard to be up beat and positive but failing at the moment. Having said that this is an awesome site with so much help and advice that I know I will come through this in the end
This site really helped me in the months after my surgery. I was so anxious about everything going on with my body. I had fluid on my lung, ckcig in my clicking in my sternum and the fear that atrial fibrillation did I experienced after the surgery would come back. It was all overwhelming. Once time passed and I could see that I was going to be okay I think I let a lot of the stress go. You will be fine just float through this difficult period.
Nearly 7 months post HA and I still think about it daily, I grieve for the seemingly carefree life I had before. I am fortunate that I have recovered well, but I live in fear of a premature end to my life (I’m 43). Maybe fear is too strong a word, but there is certainly always a dark thought there that wasn’t there before. There are good days and not so good, but the harder you try and the better you start to feel the easier it gets to looks forward. The good thing is that the stuff we should all be doing, eating well and exercising, have a really positive effect on our mental health. Massive well done on stopping smoking, it will be hard but keep off the fags. Very early days yet, be positive about the fact you are still here and being treated... that seems to be the first and biggest hurdle in heart disease!
Thank you for your reply. Seem that have good positive days and bad days. Cried on and off most of the day yesterday but didn't know why. Felt so much better later in the evening and much more positive today. Swings and roundabouts I expect. Am doing everything I've been advised to do and hopefully will be in a more positive frame of mind before my bypass surgery.
These feelings are normal and common to most of us in the first months after a heart attack. For 30+ years I had been eating a Mediterranean diet, exercising daily and drinking moderately, at weekends only. I've never smoked. When I had a heart attack almost 2 years ago I was totally in denial. There was nothing I could change in my lifestyle so I felt totally out of control. There are things you can change so you are more in control. Then came the shock and anxiety. Every twinge in any part of my body sent my anxiety sky high, convinced I was going to have another H. A. With the help of the brilliant cardiac nurses and C.B.T. ( on the N.H.S.) I gradually calmed down. My son was a fantastic support but he was as shocked as I was, as were my friends and sisters. After all if I could have a heart attack so could anyone!! However, on the 2nd anniversary in a couple of weeks I know that I will be more anxious than usual. You will calm down but be reassured you're totally normal.
Thank you for your reply. I had thought that heart attacks were either hereditary heart problems or bad life style. Have already learnt so much on here. Thank you for your kind words and advice. Best wishes to you
Hi I was taken to hospital last February with a heart attack, while in hospital I suffered two cardiac arrests so left hospital with two stent's and a pacemaker, although glad to be home felt very scared and alone even though I had my wife with me and regular visits from my daughter and grandchildren, before leaving hospital a cardiology nurse spoke to me she said that i would get these feelings and not to be afraid to seek help if I was not coping it was nothing to be ashamed of as your body had gone through a massive change, when I went for my first pacemaker check I spoke to the nurse who got someone to come and speak to me I told her how I was feeling and what my concerns were and she reassured me that it was completely normal and to concentrate on my family and do the things I would normally do, make sure to take all my medication and not be afraid to speak to my GP about any concerns that I have and if i get any pains get them checked even if i think I am wasting people's time, even today I still get bout's of what the hell happened why me then I look at the photos of my family and think how lucky I am to be able to see them grow and start school.so please speak to someone and tell them how you are feeling there is no shame admitting you need a bit of help
Thank you for your up beat positive reply. It's early days for me so can see I will have ups and down but the downs seem to be so bad. But at least it's not just me and can see it's a natural reaction to what has happened. It's such a help being able to talk about my worries on here as I dont find it easy to talk to close family about my fears. Hopefully in time I'll develop a much more positive attitude and I'm so grateful at the moment that I have come this far.
The downs are bad but they will get less until eventually you probably won't be having any. It's really early days for you . I found this forum really supportive and informative.
Hi Ewauk. Have severe aortic stenosis and am in process of pre-op tests. Like you I get down(especially at night) this site has been a god send. I know it’s worrying but if we all stick together it will be much easier. Being scared and anxious is natural. X
Thank you for your reply. This site certainly has helped and it's so good to know that people actually take the time to read a post and reply with kind thoughts and good advice. Good luck with your forthcoming operation. Sending healing thoughts and very best wishes
Thank you for your kind and uplifting words. It's a scary time and yes I need to take small steps and try hard to be positive but find it extremely difficult at times. It's fear of the unknown I suppose. It's the tears that come from nowhere that upset me the most but I know it will take time to adjust to a slightly different way of life.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad, I’m incredibly lucky I’ve never had a heart attack and can only imagine how you must be feeling.
You’re pretty amazing giving up smoking while you’re under all the stress, well done, that’s something to be proud of by itself.
You’ve got a beautiful daughter and granddaughter who I’m sure love you very much. My condition has changed my life and in many ways I miss what I could do and not having pain and breathless, I think most people on this forum has felt like that at some point.
I know talking to family and friends can be really hard and talking to people you don’t know is easier, so I’m sure you’ll find talking on here a big help, there’s always someone here to talk to, day or night, if no answer straight away, there will be, this is a very friendly welcoming forum, I can honestly say I would’ve struggled so much without the support and kindness I’ve found on here.
Thank you for your reply. It's a great help to know that there is someone available to listen to my fears and worries. My daughter told me about this forum while I was still in hospital and it really has been wonderful to find so much kindness and support so quickly.
Thank you for your words of comfort and support, they really are appreciated
Hello I completely know how your feeling I went through the exact same feelings when I had a heart episode in July, just know that you are not alone in feeling like this take one day at a time do some of the things you love and enjoy, and those anxious feelings will slowly slip away I’m always here for a chat anytime just send me a message I find it helps Chatting to other people and sharing our experiences you can make some great friends here message me for a chat anytime 😁
Thank you so much Kirsty. It has helped knowing I can go on here and get help advice and kindness. Knowing I have bypass surgery to face is making me extra anxious even though I know people who have been through it and have a new lease of life. One day at a time as you rightly say 😊
Hi nigel here, it takes time sad but true I felt exactly the same.i put it down to survivors guilt ,I was very lucky to survive.like you my life has totally changed dont like it but at least I still have my wife.i tried talking joined Support groups rehab gyms.it was fine when I was there but on my own my brain went into overdrive,nearly drove me insane.i started listening to relaxation apps on my mobile.one in particular is a guy called andrew Johnston, his scottish voice is so soothing lay on the bed put him on your phone,I guarantee you will relax and drift off.also watched things on my netflix that my daughter subscribed too on my phone.5 years on I still get down and sad but you have to battle with your brain,dont let it win.little walks gardening no digging ,I read did adult colouring books just have to take your mind off the bad thoughts.trust me I'm living proof only you can beat this,I tell myself I survived for a reason.good luck nigel.
Thank you so much for your advice and kind words. Have taken on board all that you have suggested and what other people on here have suggested and will certainly try a few of these things, especially the relaxation tapes. You have a positive attitude and I can see that helps. Trying hard to come to terms with what has happened and know how lucky I am to have survived.
Hi. Only just read your post. You have received so much great advice from the lovely helpful people on here. I had a HA with a cardiac arrest in the ambulance on the way to hospital on 13 march this yr. Like you I was a smoker. Whilst in ICU they started me on nicotine patches. Now 7 months later I am over the cravings and I can honestly say I will never smoke again as I'm too frightened.It's not always been easy and recovery following such a traumatic event has been physically great but mentally I still struggle. Reach out and get help if you need it. I hope you're getting help with nicotine replacement. Good luck on your journey and remember to always be kind to yourself ❤️
Thank you so much for your kind and helpful reply. Think I will be anxious and scared until I'm actually through bypass surgery. I don't have a date yet. Trying very hard to be positive and so grateful I made it through this far. Still have days when I'm either very angry or cry for hours but I do understand this is normal.
All of those emotions are perfectly normal. Of course giving up smoking adds to the mixed emotions but trust me it gets easier so please don't light up a ciggie. Just stay kind to yourself. Keep in touch. All the best EwaUK x
Evening. Sounds very familiar. Ex smoker here. Feel like I'm in mourning. Have dependables I worry about. It's very hard to do what you are doing. Your doing it though. Keep going. Be kind to yourself. One day at a time. If your struggling come and tell us. Bet your not the only one who is. A problem shared is a problem halved.
Nothing to focus on. Don't do anything. Need something to focus on? Make a brew. Try using your senses to ground yourself. For example, touch.
Touch something. Feel it. Is it rough. Is it smooth. Is it soft. Is it hard. Is it hot. Is it cold.
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Struggling!! 
Invited for my unmentionable this week, feeling unexpectedly anxious, advice needed!
Feeling so scared
OK now I'm scared!!!!
STILL HERE!
