How do you cope when you are truly alone. My parents just tell me to stay positive, like that will magic away day to day struggles. My friends, they're around to hang out on the good days, but when I need a helping hand on a bad day, they're to busy to even talk, let alone help out.
Ive talked, explained everything, over and over. And still, just get told, a positive attitude will make everything better.
NO IT WON'T.
I have heart failure. Possible coronary artery disease. A mechanical heart valve. And the world, and those in mine, expect my life to be normal. 10 years ago, I was active, always working on a project, making others lives better, helping where ever I could. Today, I become exhausted just from walking to the shop. My daughters education is now suffering because shes not at school, and I just dont have the physical or mental energy to educate her myself.
Hospital appointments and childcare. There is another issue. I've taken to just dropping my daughter off at her dads, no warning, on appointment days. Because in the past when I've asked him to have her, hes suddenly unavailable.
There is no support for me..especially currently with covid around. I'm supposed to go for a 2nd attempt at an angioplasty at some point. If I can get childcare.
I am thankful I found this forum. I apologise if my rant if a bit jumbled. I just needed to vent somewhere where someone might understand.
Stay safe x
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LissyEl
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Fully with you. I am also a single parent. My Boys don't even see their dad his choice. He has no idea that I am having issues with my dodgy ticker(HF/LVSD/LBBB) Lucky for me one of my boys is in his twenties So he can look after the younger one if I need to go in, not right but it is what it is and we are the Three Musketeers..
My advice would be to contact the school and explain what your situation is. My son's school have been so understanding. As they realise we are more valuable to our children then times tables. Message me anytime on here or PM.
I wish i had a magic wand to lend to you, or even the right words.
I had a mechanical valve 7 weeks ago. Ever since then i have wondered how anyone on their own could possibly cope. I came home to ideal circumstances and i am shocked at how little i can do to ease the burden on my wife. You need a home help for eight hours a day, but i doubt you can even dream about that. Due to corona, everything is closed. No support, no rehab, no follow up.
Yes, being positive would help, but that assumes reasonable circumstances surround you.
You must be so tired. I sleep several times during the day, and i get a good nights sleep.
What a shame that neither friends nor family are there for you.
Always happy to hear you rant. At least fellow hearties grasp at what is going on.
I'm so sorry you feel so alone, this is a time when you need support and you're not getting it and that's just not fair. I have different issues to you but please know that myself and many others are here whenever you need to talk, vent whatever.
I've only been on this forum 6 weeks but it's been invaluable. Especially when we are not being seen due to virus. My follow up should have been 6 weeks after my heart attack and will be end of October which will be 6 months so have felt alone too.
Use us and the cardiac rehab team. Maybe tell your parents how you feel. Your friends is your call as only you know how they'll react.
I’m sorry to her of your troubles there is not a lot I can do to help physically but a couple of thing I would say is them so called friends you are too busy to listen to you ARE NOT FRIENDS at all
It’s all very well saying stay positive but it doesn’t help. Can you not talk to some one at the hospital they might be able to point you to some form of help
In the mean time please rant and rave and anything else you won’t to do on here I’ll certainly listen to you as will others. I’m so sorry I can’t offer you some support
Don't apologise Lissy your life sucks right now and i am sorry you don't have much needed support and a shoulder to cry on. If your family and friends can't be there for you then use this site, try prayer and someone you barely know for some friendship. Not everyone wears a sign they are struggling but believe me you are not alone.
Hi lissy it all sounds so overwhelming for you - I’m fortunate in support I have and I am
Struggling . Any single mother is a fighter and you sound no different - I’m sure the love of your kids is what drives you - I hope you can find more of that determination. Well done on your triumphs up until now - sounds to me you have inner strength that will see you through.
Hi Lissy, Sorry, I am afraid I don't have much in the way of answers, but all I can say is this support group have been here for me whenever I have needed a shoulder to cry on, and we don't mind if you have a rant occasionally we all need to let of steam every now and then. Perhaps there is a support group that could help you other than this site, other people on here could perhaps point you in the right direction. Please take care, and drop those so called friends, as Dave says they are not friends. Sending love to you and your daughter.
It's not always easy to stay positive. Are your parents local to you as you can now 'join' with another family so they could help. As previously said by daveofpensby , if your so called friends can't even listen to you then they're definitely not your friends so don't waste your time on them. You need to speak with your GP and have a medication review in case that is affecting your feelings/tiredness and they should also be able to point you in the right direction for help with childcare. Do you have any siblings that could help you? I expect you've already thought of all these things but sometimes, when we feel overloaded, they're not easy to act on. If you need to go into hospital then that's what you must do or things may become worse. Keep in touch xx
Totally understand you have every right to rant. But the way I got through my problems was to think positive. I know everyone says that but it truly works. What I do when I feel negative. I try and reverse my feelings. For example. I take a lot of medication on a daily basis which I resent but I learnt to change my thinking
And turned my thoughts to the medication actually being my heroes as they are keeping me alive. Just try the reverse phycology method. It really does help it doesn’t make it all go away but it will definately help you. I hope things work out for you
Hi Lissy, like you I felt alone, not as you a single parent but an old timer, well into my 70, after being discharged from hospital there is nothing to grab hold of for support, fortunately my therapist put me onto this forum and I discovered I am not alone there are people out there who know how I feel and what words of encouragement I need to hear, so don’t ever ever think you are on your own in this , we all have one thing in common, we know how you feel and we’re all here to support you.
Be safe
Hi LissyEl
You poor thing, it’s awful yo feel alone especially when you have someone depending on you to be strong
Have you looked at support groups like Gingerbread or if there is a local Sure Start Centre. What about your GP they should be able to point you in the right direction for support
Why 2nd attempt?? What happened??
Yes you have to be positive and stay strong but sometimes you just need a big hug 🤗
I find talking here is good, nobody knows me, but that is okay
Don’t be hard on yourself these are strange times with lockdown
Hi , I became a single parent to a 9 year old 10 years ago due to the death of my husband. The closest family live 200 miles away and all grandparents had passed. Support came from sources not expected. Friends largely just wanted the old me. School was very supportive and largely parents of my daughters friends. Two sets of parents throughout the last 10 years have been a life line. Even when I was recently emergency admitted to hospital it was these lovely people who still supported my now 19 year old daughter. Be open with daughters associates but not in a negative way and hopefully support will slowly develop. Best wishes cope with one issue at a time ( baby steps) if you continue to be overwhelmed by the total situation you will not see the good. 10 years of struggle and uncertainty I now have a beautiful strong loving daughter and we have an amazing relationship. All who know her describe her as probably the most compassionate understanding person they know. You can have a good life look for the little highlights every day.
I’m in a different position from you but I can relate to the ‘everyone’s here to help’ until you really need it and I hate to ask for it either, that’s a pride/stubborn side to me.
Please message anytime to have a chat, talk things through, I really don’t like knowing you’re feeling this way and feel there’s no where out.
You’re going through such a tough time at the moment I’m sure things will get better.
Very upsetting when your friends become ‘unavailable’ when you need them.
I can only help you by being here for you whenever you need to talk about anything really, just to let off steam, this stress isn’t helping any I’m sure.
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