What Would You Do?

[Ebo50]

My hubby Jason had a heart attack on June 3rd.

There's a slim possibility it was caused by a condition called thrombocytopenia, which can caused internal bleeds.

He'd been seeing his GP about it for months, but they were scratching their heads about what its was. They only ever prescribed him steroid cream, and never saw him face-to-face due to Covid19.

He was diagnosed with it while on the coronary care unit having his stents fitted.

I'm pretty annoyed about it, and in normal circumstances would raise merry hell with the GP. But as much as I want to blame someone for what has happened, I wonder if it's the right thing to do especially as I need to help build a stress free environment for Jason so he can get strong again.

The other complication we have is I've now been offered an op on my spine and neck. I have spinal stenosis.

How on earth can I say yes at a time when Jason needs me to much? It's pure luck I was here on the day he had his heart attack. If it happened again, and I was out. I'm not sure he could summon help.

I would be really interested to know what you think?

Lots of love

Jason Nicholls

[Shar28]

Hello and welcome to the forum. You’ve both had a emotional big shock and it takes time to get your heads around what’s happened, what’s happening now and for life to settle down again. My husband has a heart condition and I understand what it’s like to worry about him and be concerned about him being alone and the possibility of something happening. But it’s something that we have to get our heads around because we can’t wrap our loved ones up in cotton wool or a safety bubble. We somehow have to get on with life, whatever it chucks at us.

I assume Jason is back home and doing what he needs to/what he feels he can to look after himself? And you’re doing what you need to to look after yourself too? You’re as important as each other and if you don’t look after yourself how can you look after him?

As for your dilemma about your surgery, talk to the consultant if you can. Ring his/her secretary and explain the situation and ask their advice concerning your condition - for instance what are the risks of you delaying surgery? When would you possibly have surgery if you delay it now? After all, if you need it then you need it.

From your photo, you have family. Can they muck in to help? Letting go and trusting others no matter how close they are can be hard but sometimes it’s just necessary.

I’m sorry for the long reply and hope I’m not coming across as being harsh in any way. I’m sure others will be along with their support too. In the meantime, all the best to you, Jason and your family.

[sturon]

Hi.

This is such a worrying time for Jason and you. I try not to give advise as it is always up to the individual to make the decision in the end. That said here are a few ideas.

First about Jason. Your GP has been working in a strange and very unfamiliar way for a few months now. Trying to make diagnosis over the phone is never easy. So ask yourself what can you get out of this that will be positive? Perhaps ask for a telephone appointment with the GP and discuss the diagnosis and what treatment Jason may need in the future. Try to use this as a learning experience for the GP. Ask them, now they know the diagnosis, could they have done anything differently? Use the time to try to build a positive relationship with the GP. If you can try to look at the long game as Jason will need support from the GP in future.

Now you. You need the spine sorting so stop and think about yourself and what your life may be like if you put the surgery off. You may be unable to look after Jason for a few days, but without the surgery you may deteriorate and be unable to look after him in the long-term. So again think about the big picture and your lives together in the years ahead.

Get support from friends around you, that's what they are there for. When my husband was ill and had to have an ICD implanted I turned to friends for their advise and support, but I still felt alone at times which is why we are on this forum.

I hope this is of some help. This forum is a useful tool but in the end it's up to the two of you to work out what's best for you both.

Take care and good luck.

Ron.

[Ebo50 in reply to sturon]

I really appreciate this Ron and the time you took to share your thoughts with me, it’s very kind. I actually agree with you. When I step away from my rage and anxiety your suggestions are spot on. Much love, Jason

[stillaboveground]

Hi Ebo50, Jason needs your help now, but your health is just as important, you look to have a a happy family looking at the picture you posted, perhaps they could help you so you could have your treatment without all of the worry of Jasons health, both of you worrying about each other is not going to help either of you get better. Talk to your family, share your feelings with them, maybe between you, you can come up with some answers. Since the virus shut down a lot of hospital departments there could be long waiting times for any treatment required, if you delay your treatment now how long could it be before you could be treated. Good luck, take care and keep safe.

[Qualipop]

I completly understand yoru annoyance with the GP. For almost 12 months mine insisted my blocked artery which caused a heart attack was simply my spinal problems ( I also have stenosis). Another spent 10 years treating my severe pain without diagnosing even though I knew what it was. I got the biggest grovelling apology for not believing me. I suspect even if they'd see n him they would still have struggled. Even the best GP can get stumped. However even now you can get a face to face appointment if you insist. I had one 2 weeks ago. I would ask for a phone consult with your GP and talk it through with him and tell him nicely that you feel upset your husband was never seen in person. Ask now what the future holds and get his advice on your operation too. How well an you help your husband if you don't have it done? What would happen if you ask for it to be delayed? Maybe speak to your consultant and tell him the situation.

[Ianc2]

Find out the name if the best specialist in this area and pay for a consultation. GP's are tripwires that hopefully refer you to the real experts. About £150 -£200 should get some very useful information.