Fluffybee

[Fluffybee]

I’m in an awkward position, my step mum has died after having a stroke.

With my heart condition and the corona virus I don’t know if it would be ok to go to the crematorium and wear PPE or sadly not go, as it’s a close family member I’m torn, difficult decision either way.

Social distancing will be in place then it’s straight home afterwards.

Thanks for any thoughts on this, not sure this is the sort of thing to put on here but but having heart disease just diagnosed not sure how vulnerable I am.

[Rose54]

Hi

Sorry to hear you have lost your step Mum my thoughts are with you and your family .

If you where close I would go as long as your not in the Shielding group

Hope you have your own transport

Just remember social distancing and take hand gel with you .

Most people are not bothering with a wake at present but having a memorial service later .

Best Wishes

[Fluffybee in reply to Rose54]

Thank you for giving advice,

After what you said I think I’ll not go to the funeral.

The family are having a special occasion to scatter her ashes a bit later so think I’ll go to that as it will be outside and a bit later when hopefully it will be safer.

Speak soon

[Hidden]

So sad for you.

Just my view - a funeral etc seems really vital & it initially made me miserable I couldn’t go to one for my mum.

But in the end, it turned out to not be that important. The grief over her passing was the main emotion, that’s what the sadness was really about of course, it wasn’t about ‘funeral or not’. Once I accepted that, I was able to send my goodbye thoughts & wishes in my own way. I was also able to commemorate her & re-bond with family in different ways, maybe even more meaningful.

Outside is a powerful healer - scattering her ashes on a beach for us. And at the time of her (unattended) cremation, I lit a candle and ‘talked’ with her, in my mind. I imagined I was seeing her off on a long boat journey, reminiscing about good times & wishing her well .

Rest in peace. Both your step mum, and you. Stay safe.

[Fluffybee in reply to Hidden]

Hi thank you for answering.

Firstly I’m so sorry you’ve lost your mum, it’s such an awful time

It’s especially sad as my Dad doesn’t know she’d died as he has really bad dementia and doesn’t understand.

I lost my mum at 14, even though it was a long time ago I understand what you’re going through.

I’m going to light a candle for my step mum in her memory and have my own special times we had together. It’s a really lovely idea, thank you for that

We’re going to scatter her ashes when things are back to normal so I can go to that with everyone.

Look after yourself and stay safe 🤗

[Hidden in reply to Fluffybee]

Can't take credit for the candle ! My best friend bought me a 'Remembrance Candle' when I told her - it was her beautiful idea.

And thanks for your thoughts. Time does help us move on with living & hope.