Getting there

[Imin]

One of the forum’s members posted an update on how they were getting on which I thought was lovely as it showed that they had come a long way with their recovery!

When I look back on the last eight months I too have come a long way...I still have a lot to work on but slowly, slowly catch the monkey and all that! 🐒

So here is my update...I hope somebody reads it and gets a bit of hope from it x

Warning - it’s a long post so you might want to look away now! 😀

I am 46, a mum of two beautiful daughters, wife of a very caring husband and a sister, Aunty and friend. I had a HA and two stents eight months ago after losing both my mum and dad to heart disease and watching my twin brother recover from a HA and two stents when we were 38 and my sister living with angina...strong family history!

I have never smoked or drank alcohol, I’m not overweight and I lead an active life with exercise. On discharge I was told I have no modifiable risk factors so I felt a little out of control. If I had been told to stop smoking, cut out alcohol, lose weight or exercise more then I would have had something to control and act on - to be told to keep doing what you are doing to reduce risk just didn’t make sense to me as I’d had a HA doing what I was doing! I did enjoy cake and coffee with my friends but not everyday, usually for someone’s birthday and I enjoyed the occasional takeaway, biscuit and crisps...I miss crisps the most!

I had cut all ‘treats’ to a dangerous level - I lost weight I could not afford to lose because of a feeling of guilt that eating the odd cake, chocolate, biscuit or crisps had nearly lost my children their mum. I was so scared I would block my arteries further I was avoiding occasions with friends and family as I didn’t want them worrying about me refusing the cake and chocolates. My GP actually told me to try to have the odd treat as life is for enjoying and I was now deemed medically underweight. She told me my body needed some fat to absorb the vitamins and minerals I was eating in bucketloads!!!

I took it too far...I lived on fish, veg, fruit and whole grains. My cardiac nurse kept telling me to eat everything, including treats, in moderation. She told me this while picking a biscuit out of a tin the department had been given as a thank you gift! The trouble is no one has ever given a prescription for what moderation is! 😉

I have now actually enjoyed some birthday cake and even the odd chocolate. I’ve introduced cheese and chicken back into my diet and am getting good fats in with oily fish and eggs. I am back to a healthy weight and trying to get on top of my fears. I run 5k on the treadmill twice a week and do a couple of speed walks with my girls a couple of time’s a week too (while the gym is closed my girls are keeping me company as I was doing two circuit training classes a week)

Like most who visit this forum, my fear is born from not being able to see how my arteries are getting on. I very much hope that there will be scan developed to see how our arteries and stents are getting on without being invasive. I just have to trust the meds and my diet and exercise are doing the trick and, in the words of my cardiologist, significantly reducing the risk of further HA’s and slowing future progression of heart disease.

I can now look forward to enjoying all my days with my family and friends and am thankful for them all.

I hope those who are new to this forum who might be struggling can see that it does get better, both mentally and physically. I did have a few visits to A&E in the early days thinking I was having another HA but they turned out to be panic attacks - talking, counselling, meditation were all alien to me but it turns out that they all really did help me...along with walking in the fresh air!

Wishing anyone new to the forum good luck with their recovery and hoping all who visit here, especially the regulars who have very much helped me along the way are keeping well and staying sane...I mean safe! 😉

[84green]

Thank you Imin for such an honest post. As with all your posts I find it both helpful and informative.

I have not had a HA and am tryouts big to avoid one! Unlike you, I had several modifiable risk factors that I am trying to address. I cannot not imagine how difficult it must feel when there is nothing obvious you can do other than take the medication.

I definitely identify with the constant worry about the state of our arteries - whilst acknowledging that such worry is not good for the state of our arteries!

I think that our brilliant doctors and surgeons have many years of talent and experience that they devote to making us better. Trust them and their advice on lifestyle, medication and, if needed, surgery. Then relax and stay positive. Learn enough about our condition to ask questions and make informed decisions; but not to the extent of trying to interpret information that I’m not qualified to judge properly.

That, for me, is the mindset I am trying to achieve.

[Imin in reply to 84green]

Hi.

That’s good advice to do what you can, then trust the professionals. It is so difficult not to worry but as you say, worrying won’t help the arteries! This is something I need to work on. I find myself needing reassurance often. I am using calming apps and meditation to help me to relax and I find being outside in my garden helps too. Exercise is good for body, mind and soul!

Lovely to hear from you and I hope you are doing ok with the current situation.

Take care x

[84green in reply to Imin]

Imin. Thank you. I should say it is a mindset I aspire to rather than have. Still too negative but every day helps the mind to adapt and accept x

[ben_morris]

Hi lmin

Thanks for your post and giving a great insight on to the worries in the recovery process. I’m 37 and 4 weeks on from my HA. I also can relate to your initial feelings where I don’t want to eat the occasional treat and try desperately to eat healthily all of the time. I am happy with how my diet has dramatically improved since so I think in time I will also try to introduce rare treats. I am currently up to 30 minutes walking most nights but without the access to cardiac rehabilitation i find it difficult to know much to do.

This forum is amazing and reading other people’s experiences is really helpful

Thanks

Ben

[Imin in reply to ben_morris]

Hi Ben.

Sounds like you are doing great with walking 30 minutes each evening...I was told walking was just as beneficial as jogging at cardiac rehab.

I have to admit to a few too many treats these last few weeks as my daughter has taken to baking to keep herself occupied but she is very thoughtful and has looked up low fat, low/no sugar bakes and they always have some sort of fruit in! 😉

I will finish the banana and sultana loaf she has made and I’ve promised myself to get back to the healthier diet.

4 weeks is very early days for your recovery and you may find you have better days than others - allow yourself those not so good days, they help you appreciate the better days! Talk to someone about your worries, it really does help. Fresh air clears your mind more than you know. Do things you enjoy, laugh, cry, be busy, be still, BE YOU! You are still you, you just feel a bit different right now.

Good luck with your recovery and take care x

[stillaboveground]

Hi Imin, I have just done a year after my heart attack and feel I am all mended, just on medication now. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's shining bright, and with the help of your lovely family you will get through this. Good luck with your recovery. Take care, keep safe.

[Imin in reply to stillaboveground]

Hi.

Congratulations...if that’s the right thing to say. It’s lovely to read you are at you year’s anniversary...did you need any stents after your HA?

I’ve got everything crossed that after my year when I can stop the Ticagrelor (some of you may be on the equivalent Clopidogrel) that I will feel better as I have terrible acid reflux/indigestion even though I take Omeprazole (or that’s what the doctors say I’m suffering from as they think it highly unlikely that the chest ache is cardiac related). Let’s hope so anyway.

I wish you well and continued good health...enjoy your milestone.

Take care x

[stillaboveground in reply to Imin]

I was one of the lucky ones and although they told me I had a blockage I didn't need any stents so on medication only. I struggled not able to get up the stairs and I tired very easily at first but it all came together gradually, I was able to go to cardiac rehabilitation, and that helped me no end, being with other people going through the same thing was a very positive feeling for me, I recommend you go if possible after this lock down is lifted. I have since had an operation to have my gall bladder removed this March, so all is okay for me. Hope you soon recover.