Hi all.. i had a cardiac arrest last week. I had 2 guys give me cpr while the ambulance arrived. I live about 10mins from the hospital. I was in an induced coma for a couple of days.. then i woke up but had to write everything down that i wanted to remember in 10mins. after about a week I've been moved to a larger hospital to have all the tests and a defibrillator put in.
I don't really understand why I'm, overall, now feeling ok? I am needing to check my mempry book less to remind myself of things. i am able to walk, talk, make jokes, starting to remember things like passwords.
I feel really lucky but also very very confused.. why am i ok when so many other people die.
I feel guilty for being ok
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Somehowhere
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I've apologised to techs, nurses, and consultants for 'taking up their time' and they always say the same thing - '...you wouldn't be here if you weren't in need of our services.' Still, I feel no little 'guilt' at being as well as I feel when I know people with my conditions have died or been rendered severely disabled.
Some call it 'survivor guilt' and it has a very real affect on recovery. If you choose to Google, be wary of clicking on results to sites other than credible ones like BHF, NHS, and some American sites like the Mayo Clinic, Cleveland Clinic, and American Heart Foundation - all of those sites have pages and downloads with useful tips on handling the different ways heart conditions including cardiac arrest (CA) can bring on emotional responses like 'survivor guilt'.
See if the hospital you're now in has any counselling available to patients, it really does help to talk to someone especially in these early days of your CA recovery period.
Hi Somehowhere. Sounds like you’re making brilliant progress. And as others have said dodging the big one does mess with your mind. If you find it distresses you please do talk to your cardio nurse or your doctor as they can refer you to a counsellor. I had a heart attack (not CA) so we’re in different branches of the same club! Others have said that this forum and the sudden cardiac arrest forum help. suddencardiacarrestuk.org
I had a heart attack last December, blue lighted t hospital, just about to have stent fitted and went into cardiac arrest - took 3 minutes of CPR and defibrillator to re-start my heart, stented and then put into induced coma for 18 hours. (I had all this explained to me by Ashley my nurse in ICU room).
The next day I had a collection of doctors gathered around my bed, asking me random questions - what they were doing was testing to see how my memory was to see if I had any brain damage.
Diagnosed with an EF of 30% so heart failure.
Fast forward 11 months, had ICD fitted in August, discharged from the care of consultant, EF has improved to 40-45%, feel brilliant, better than I've felt in years.
I've read quite a bit about cardiac arrest, and the stats really are terrifying as regards the chances of surviving the event.
I know I'm very very lucky to be here. I'm also aware of survivor guilt, a good friend of mine died in Dec 2017 from cardiac arrest, his wife called to see me two months after my trip to hospital, I don't know whether I had an episode of survivor guilt, but it was a difficult meeting, I felt awkward with the fact that I was here but Tony wasn't.
How are we here when so many don't make it? I don't know, I'm not religious so don't see some sort of divine intervention, I think it's a case of good medical intervention, and probably luck - the luck of the draw.
I know it's difficult to get your head around everything that has happened, but you don't need to feel guilty, we all have a right to be here.
Hello and welcome to the forum! My late father was in the war and a number of his comrades were killed or seriously injured. In those days PTSD and "survivor guilt" did not come into the equation. I know some of his friends dwelt on it but he, and others, just thought themselves lucky. Try and think "It was my lucky day" but if the feelings continue ask for counselling. Are you being referred for rehab. This is helpful in regaining confidence and fitness, and there is often support attached.
Hi I was in coma for nearly 2 weeks following cardiac arrest, couldn't talk , write etc but you do get better with time. You have to consider yourself one of the lucky ones don't feel guilty, good luck
Well @somehowhere, I’m in the same boat roughly. I had a similar experience back in June & I had an ICD fitted which has saved my life twice since. If I could tell you I felt like a fraud being in hospital I’d be underselling it.
Now I’m not a medical doctor, I can only type from my own experience of having a long QT identified in June. Unbeknownst to me the consultant had a pet theory of channelopathy. When I slept through the 3rd arrest they finally put me on amiodarone. Not had a problem since, despite having a bicuspid aortic heart valve. Good luck to you but I think you’ll be ok soon. Ask about channelopathy. It’s not exactly common & maybe read this;
No need to feel guilty @somehowhere, not at all. You had a problem & people came to fix you. I tell you they’ll be so happy you’re still around to talk to them. I know I am.
How Somehowhere! Sounds like you are doing very well and as everyone has said, please try not to feel guilty. Be glad you are ok and still here. I had a CA 15 yrs ago and whilst it took me a little longer to stop being "loopy" (as my wife put it!), than you seem to have done, I have luckily gone from strength to strength since. Also had an ICD fitted, so built in protection herein! The memory issues were strange though...thank goodness for post-it notes! I found that short term I was clueless, longer term I had a strange loss of chunks of my past. I used to describe it as being like losing every Tuesday but not realising that Tuesday was missing.
CA's are weird because if for you, like me, it came literally out of the blue (I was 45) you suddenly and unexpectedly enter a whole new world. I was saved by a guy who gave me CPR for 17 minutes until the ambulance arrived. I still see him each year to say thanks but nothing one can say or do quite makes up for what they did for you. I spent some time whilst getting back to full strength wondering "how come?" and having a few " meaning of life" conversations. It does make you think about these things. Be glad to taste life, take care and have a lovely Christmas!
Hi Somewhere, I went through a whole range of emotions guilt being one of them. After about 6 weeks I became very depressed and then felt guilty for being so miserable. You will get over all these feelings and talking will help. I had a great rehab team and also talking to people who'd been through it was a turning point for me. It's six months for me now and I enjoy every day of my life, be strong you will get there x
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