The blues

[sasquot1]

After a HA and a stent, I went to rehab a few tests showed all looks good yet I feel so down in dumps and have no interest in anything. Is this normal ?

[NorthantsSteve]

Hi sasquot. That’s totally normal in my experience. I had a few blue spells (and still do) but I feel much better now. It’s really annoying when you should be feeling great that you’ve swerved the big one but you feel miserable. It did take some time (coming up to my third HA birthday in November) but the fewer meds I took, the more weight I lost and exercise I did the better I felt. If it’s really getting you down you could ask your cardio rehab team or your doc for a counselling referral. I’ve had friends who’ve been and they say have said it really does work. Hope it works out for you. Take care.

[sasquot1 in reply to NorthantsSteve]

Thankyou for your reply I know time is a healer x

[SpiritoftheFloyd]

Hi sasquot1

What you're going through is totally normal.

I suspect that everyone on this forum has been there. It's hard sometimes coming to terms with what has happened. It will take time but you are recovering, day by day.

Hard as it is, try to put it in perspective, you're still here, you have survived, things will get better, it just takes some time .. If you are really struggling with it all, talk to your GP for a counselling referral

[sasquot1 in reply to SpiritoftheFloyd]

Thank you have to say this forum is certainly a life line helps to think I’m not alone and can seek advice from people who get it x

[sasquot1]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply it’s been a huge shock and at 47 it wasn’t something I was expecting. I know I need to lose weight and exercise more and I’ve slrwady attended my first rehab - I’m hoping that this is a second chance to try and put things right. I think I’m just very reluctant to do anything in case it happens again. I know things need to change I just hope I have the willpower. I think if my blues don’t left perhaps a chat with my GP might be a good idea.

As I sit here I still find it hard to admit to myself that I have had a HA!! I know it’s still very early days ( only 5 weeks ago)

Thanks again for your reply x

[NorthantsSteve in reply to sasquot1]

Talk to the nurses at rehab and tell them how you feel. There’ll be someone there who can help. It is very early days for you so don’t be too hard on yourself. Cardio rehab is brilliant. It will make the world of difference. And the evidence shows that by going you’ll do better than those who don’t go. I was older than you when I had mine (55) but it was certainly a shocker. At least you know what’s wrong and can do something about it, rather than being poorly and not knowing.

Never thought of myself as a trendsetter. There’s a first for everything.

[Milkfairy Heart Star]

The Portuguese have the word saudade.

It means the wistful longing of your life as lived before and the mourning of the life you thought you were going to have.

Somehow with time and being compassionate and kind to yourself you find a new way. The what 'ifs ' become less important and you savour being alive learning to see the world through a different lens.

I agree with SpiritoftheFloyd perhaps go and see your GP to see if other support such as talking therapies are available.

[Scout2017]

Hi there - of course you feel down, a ****** thing happened to you. It gets better, this forum helps a lot. All the best.

[Andyman]

I had to ask for Counselling in the end. I had become shouty at work when frustrated and had a sense of being a victim and was anxious and depressed most of the time. I got a counselor and she let me talk it out. I had 8 sessions of 1 hour and she really hardly ever said very much I just let it all out but what she did say really helped me go forward and lose that victim thing I was carrying around. She led me to Mindfulness which has helped me cope on a daily basis and now I am so much stronger. Am I back to the old me. No and I don't want to be the old me. It was the old me that nearly killed me. The new me is a nicer person who has compassion and determination and happy. Really don't suffer just ask your GP for help.

[Sunnie2day in reply to Andyman]

I found cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) worked best for me - lol, tried mindfulness and all I could be mindful of was how angry I was I'd somehow let a lifelong heart condition become several heart conditions.

I honestly did think it was 'all my fault' when the truth was quite the opposite. CBT helped me realise some things really do 'just happen' no matter what I tried to do as mitigation. I have heard good things about mindfulness and frankly envy those who can use it - well done for making it work well for you.

[Hidden]

The way I look at it is, irrespective of the arguments about cholesterol/saturated fat/carbohydrates, the fact is that you have probably contributed to or even caused the problem that could very easily have killed you. Many people years ago who had a HA, would then have been facing a miserable life waiting for the next one to finish them off, but that bit of scaffolding that has been bunged into you artery has literally thrown you a lifeline. Now, you have to do your bit to ensure things don't deteriorate further, and indeed hopefully will improve. Of course we get anxious, but you need to focus your attention on embarking on as healthy diet as possible, losing that weight, and getting into a regular routine of exercise. It doesn't matter how little to begin with, as long as you build it up as much as you can. A lot of people who have had a HA may never have done any real exercise since they left school! With a change in lifestyle you can have a great second chance at life - just remember for every one of us on here there will be countless others who are no longer with us. Throw yourself into finding out what sort of diet you should be eating - there is plenty of information on here, and maybe even decide to get on the path to doing a Parkrun one day in the future, you can do it if you really want to rid yourself of the nagging doubts. You are in the fortunate position that your future is probably in your own hands, many people going about their business this very day will not be so lucky, it makes you think! Good luck.

[Khonkaen]

Had that too, but doesn't last, but you do need motivation. The bad days come and go too, you need to think about what you did wrong to arrive where you are and then correct those things, modify your diet, cut out things that get you stressed and exercise. Threat of this as a "project" for chapter II of your life, this is a fight worth winning, a second chance that is not to be missed.

If you have a good partner get him/her on your side, a kick up the backside at times, if not get a dog perhaps. You will soon get into it and the people on this forum, we are all in the same boat all have ideas. Choose the approach that suits you, but do choose and then get on and do it.

I write this stuff and it motivates me, so had my big vegan breakfast and off on my 2km walk.

Bonne Chance!

[Debee28]

Hi sasquot1

I'm 47 and had my HA 5 weeks ago, so guess we are buddies! I'm currently waiting for my second stent and getting used to the meds and slow recovery. I've found this forum really helpful and supportive and have found answers to my worries and concerns!

[sasquot1 in reply to Debee28]

Thankyou for your reply Debee28 all the messages have given me hope

Good luck with your second stent xx

[Myaphrodisiac]

Wonderful, I needed to hear this today! Thank you 😊

[Myaphrodisiac]

As you can see from these replies, all perfectly normal. Thank you for posting, I too have been having some ‘blue’ days. Best wishes to you x

[Foley1]

I'm not sure if this will be of any help I had my heart event in my early 30's. I came out of hospital and felt abandoned. As others have said it's easy to let the event define you and I feared I now had a label. 'Heart problem'. This label would see the end of my career, make me unemployable etc., etc.

I got a phone call inviting me to phase three rehab classes and suddenly I wasn't alone. These classes included exercise and the opertunity to 'get back to normal' in a safe environment. It also gave me a social group (though most were much older than myself).

This led to me getting involved with creating a phase four in our area so once the NHS gave us the news that all was well we continued to meet. We have a fully trained instructors and have developed the social side to include our friends and family (if they want too) in non heart related activities. The groups give the support of people in a similar position, mean someone contacts you if you go missing from the classes and there is always an ear over a coffee or tea after the class. If you haven't found this support in your area it's worth giving it a go. 18 months after my heart surgery, having been told I was back to 'normal' I gave birth to my daughter, I proved I was OK (may be a bit drastic) but having been misdiagnosed before hand and being told that my son would remain an only child, I was going to grab every bit of normality I could. I also progressed my career beyond my wildest dreams. I guess I'm saying we can put our own boundaries and give up, but I got a phone call that gave me a chance to dispel all my fears and slowly fight back and grab everything I assumed I had lost by having heart surgery and becoming a redundant person.

Good luck, I'm sure you will find your way through this. We are complex creatures but you just need the right trigger to start the rest of your life.