Work Stress - so not worth it! Moving on

[Heartlady1]

HI All

For those who know me you will be aware that I was diagnosed with Severe heart failure in 2017 and had a CRTD fitted in September that year, followed by a further 2 ops in March and August 2018 due to issues with my device. I have throughout gone back to work very soon after my ops (after 2 weeks with the first 2 ops - and 6 weeks after third op)

I have continued to deliver all my KPIs for the company and have achieved everything they have asked of me. However last May I asked to go down to a 4 day week to help me to keep well with my condition (advise from my doctor) they didnt want to do this and it took me till Dec 2018 to get agreement (and only after I promised to keep delivering the same numbers but on a shorter week!)

Since this time, its been awful. I have felt pressured to keep delivering a crazy schedule, my boss has massively discriminated against me, telling me I have to do even more work (even though I have no capacity to do any more) he has been rude and has sworn at me, and some of my colleagues have sent me to coventry, as they are jealous of my 4 day week. I put up with all of this as I was worried about getting another job elsewhere with my condition........... until 2 weeks ago when I just collapsed in tears, shaking and not eating or sleeping.

In stepped my Dr and Heart Failure Nurse, who both told me that I was suffering from stress and anxiety caused by these work issues, and my son was very worried about me too and pleaded with me not to go back to this toxic atmosphere.

Well I have now been off work for 2 weeks (my Dr has given me a month off on sick) in that time I have started to feel like me again, I dont get palpatations or chest pains, I am coping really well, and feel happy!!!

I finally realised that NO job is worth the stress, and have realised that this was all designed to drive me out. Luckily I have insurance that offers me legal cover, and I am now working with this team as they have explained I have a very good case for Discrimination and constructive dismissal, so I am going through the process at the moment (not pleasant) but whatever happens I am not going back. I WILL find another job, and I have got my mojo back, and have realised, as my son said, all the stress and bullying could end up causing me further heart damage.

I did not struggle for 2 years to get healthy (my heart feels fab at the moment ) to put up with massive pressures and stress. I will get another job and this time out has really made me re-assess and realise that no one should be treated like this in the workplace. As Gloria says..... I will survive......

[Shoshov]

You go girl. Karmas a bitch heartlady. What goes round comes round. People can be so cruel. You will find a new job where you’ll flourish. Glad your starting to feel like yourself again. I’m luckier than you in that I’m self employed but there are days when I could just walk away. Unfortunately I’m a widow and need to pay my bills. All the very best sweetheart❤️shiona

[Heartlady1 in reply to Shoshov]

Thank you Shiona, and you are so right, and I am happy that I have finally found my bravery to walk away, and just be happy me. Its others sad and narrow minded lives that make people behave as they do. I will leave them to it. As I always say... the best revenge is .......... to be happy

[Shoshov in reply to Heartlady1]

Fabulous. ❤️

[NathanBlau]

Good luck to you - I hope justice prevails. I was lucky in that my job allowed me to go part time on a permanent basis. Thankfully they dont expect me to turn out 5 days work in 2!!

all the best - you deserve it

[Heartlady1 in reply to NathanBlau]

Sounds like you have a good company there

[DavidG1971]

Best of luck. I went back after Angina / 2 stents - to find my dept of 3 down to just me. HR insist it’s not a problem ....long as I ‘prioritise’. Great word for digging corporates out of a mess without having to do anything. Hope it works out for you.

[Heartlady1 in reply to DavidG1971]

Do be careful David, its not fair to add more pressure and work on to you, and, as I have found out, it could be construed as discrimination under the equality act for someone with a long term disability, as they should be making reasonable adjustments for your disability, not piling more work onto you! It may be worth having a chat with ACAS, they were brilliant with me, and made me see that what I was being asked to do was totally unreasonable, and in some parts unlawful too!! Look after yourself first and foremost

[DavidG1971 in reply to Heartlady1]

Doing my best. Unfortunately at 47 and sole wage earner for two teenage children - my options are limited. Once they’re through education (it could be a while), I’m moving to something simpler.

[DaveTR]

It's people that make the difference.

You are doing the right thing in looking after yourself.

[Heartlady1 in reply to DaveTR]

Thanks Dave, you are so right, shame it took me a while to realise, but now I have no looking back, onwards and upwards,

[IanMK]

Absolutely. Your health comes first. But be careful that your legal action doesn’t become another source of stress. Sometimes it’s best to be pragmatic, if you can; just walk away and don’t look back.

I, too, developed heart failure in 2017 and I attributed it to 10 years of stress at work. I didn’t make a challenge because I realised that the slightest anxiety worsened my arrhythmia. Unfair maybe, but at 64 I’ve learnt that life isn’t fair.

[Heartlady1 in reply to IanMK]

Hi Ian, yes you are right and I have said if it becomes distressing I will just walk away. However my legal team are telling me that they will handle all negotiations/ court if it goes there, but I just want to be happy in a nice job, where I would work hard and be valued, not victimised ! so will see how it goes, but have definitely realised whatever happens I cant now go back. As you say health first

[IanMK in reply to Heartlady1]

My symptoms deteriorated just talking about my problems. I'm in a union and thought that they might do the talking for me, but no. My weakness was in being persistent, so the stress continued for a long time. It wasn't in my psyche to give up. I'm now planning to retire early instead

[Clarky61012]

I feel so angry for you! You've done the right thing though, most jobs would replace us in a week if we left and yet we put our lives (literally in some cases) on the line for them. I'm juggling work the best I can while waiting for a stent to be put in and it's just another layer of stress to an already stressful situation. I wish you all the best for the future x

[Heartlady1 in reply to Clarky61012]

Thanks Clarky61012, for too long I took all the c*** as I was so worried about getting another job, and it was my son who finally said, mum you will get another job but even if you didnt, this is making you ill! Its so awful how other human beings can be to someone who has a condition like ours, and I dont even know if they will pay me tomorrow (Gulp) but I have such a sense of freedom and feel empowered that I have stopped letting them get to me, and I do believe in fate, as well as the best revenge is to be happy.

I just thought as well if anyone else is being discriminated against, as I have, my post might make them realise that they CAN do something about it. Even if that first step is to call ACAS and get their advice (they were brilliant) and its always worth paying an extra £2 a month on your home insurance to get that legal cover too!! I may have a wonky heart but I do have a savvy brain,

[jimmyq]

No job is worth all the stress. Well done!

[Heartlady1 in reply to jimmyq]

Thanks Jimmy, thats exactly what my son said. I am just so glad I am finally doing something about it, and moving on. I have had some massive support from my family and friends, its been absolutely fabulous, and yes I should have done this sooner, but just glad I am standing up for myself now. and thanks to everyone on here too for all your support, I just hope anyone else that may be in a similar situation can also get out as soon as they can.

[jimmyq in reply to Heartlady1]

I was in the opposite situation. I loved my job and it wasn't stressful but it put my BP through the roof. My doctor insisted that I pack it in so I took early retirement.

[Milkfairy Heart Star]

I took early ill health retirement from my much loved 30 year career.

I had pressure applied on me to make me go by my manager she was awful.

When I got the higher teir of permanent incapacity all the managers were stunned saying ' oh this heart condition of yours is serious then'

I wish you luck and good for you for advocating for yourself I hope you find a resolution to your problems.

You and your health are far more important than staying in such a toxic environment that your employers seem to have created.

After the dust settled I knew that early retirement was actually the best decision I made it removed a very large source of stress from my life.

Just turn up the volume on Gloria Gaynors song I WILL SURVIVE because you are so worth it!

[Heartlady1 in reply to Milkfairy]

Aw thanks Milkfairy, unfortunately I dont have enough pension to take early retirement as I am only 57 (however I have taken some of my pension out to pay off my mortgage) so I am in a great position and just need a little job (4 days a week max) to allow me to pay bills and keep having fun. Its so sad that people dont take our heart issues seriously. I have even brought in the letter from my consultant that states "this lady has severe Heart failure" they also know that I have been through 3 ops in 12 months, but still they push me to do more.

I am glad you were able to get out and I would advise anyone who can, to go part time or go for that early retirement. We deserve it, the volume is being turned up right now lol

[Milkfairy Heart Star in reply to Heartlady1]

The irony was that I was employed by the NHS so whilst I do receive a small pension the NHS did not look after me well as an employee.

Do check your National insurance contributions. By retiring early I am 2 years short of being eligible for the full state pension but I have got 10 years to find the money to make this up.