I'm new here - Mixed emotions

[BigPhill]

Morning all. I'm new here.

I personally have not had any heart issues but my mother has had 4 heart attacks since last October, she has not had any surgery or stents due to the blockage being so small.

On the last heart attack 3 weeks ago i received a phone call from my dad advising me to come home as the A&E consultant thought my mum was not going to make it, i live 5 hours away from home. I went home and thankfully my mum survived and is making a very slow recovery again, the consultant did advise that my mum would probably not be able to survive another heart attack. While i was home i was helping my dad out with sorting the house and getting things sorted out so my dad could do things for himself and look after himself.

Since leaving home things for me came crashing down, i broke down with so many emotions mainly fear, anxiety, panic attacks (already diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks but have controlled them with meditation and exercise for the last 5 years).

I always get the fear that when i receive a call from home its going to be bad news. I have been back down to visit my parents and my mum looked so frail and ill. I have started to grasp that even if i lived 10 minutes away there is very limited additional i could do.

I have been extremely emotional over the last 3 weeks and struggling with my emotions, watching things on TV have made me cry, i have been keeping myself busy with working and running and taking the dog out for a walk with my wife and talking to my wife about how i feel and what i going through.

Are there any groups for families of people who have survived a heart attack?

Am i the only one to go through this or has plenty of other people experienced this as well?

[Nathan53]

Hello Bigphill and welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about your Mum's health situation which I realise is made more difficult as you don't live near them. The BHF has a directory of Heart Support groups and can search online by entering 'heart support groups' in the search field on the BHF homepage or you can ring them on 0300 330 3311. I recognise the feeling you mention of being on edge whenever the phone rings as I also experienced this when my Mum was failing 18 months ago. No one can take that feeling away unfortunately. Make sure you maximise your support network your wife friends and family for example. Do you have any family living nearer your parents who can provide additional support to your parents? It's about maximising all avenues of support for your parents while accepting you can't be with them all of the time. Remember your Mum is 'living' with her condition and try and have some quality time when you are able to visit. Limit time spent watching News and sad programmes - It's not feasible or desirable to avoid things because they make you upset but you know what I mean sometimes TV is filled with trauma. Have a good cry if you need to nothing wrong in that your family is so important to you it's natural you are gutted. Consider counselling if things become more difficult for you. Can you make your employer know what is happening so they can understand if you are not on usual form or her time off. All best Phil thinking of you.

[Minniexxx]

Hi, My mum is in a similar stituatio n, we have been told nothing can be done for her weak heart and she will become tired a lethargic as time goes on. You feel helpless but the main thing is keep them happy and enjoy their time, do things with them. Life is too short. Give them strength as it must be terrifying for your mum too. That's the advice I can give being near or far makes no difference but being their for her makes a difference. There is no right answer.