Mum's Quadruple heart bypass surgery

[Squiggle1]

Hi, I'm new her my mum had quadruple heart bypass surgery just over 2 months ago. Seems to be healing well, though there is just 1 length of her lower leg that is slow to heal, and she's still having nurses in every other day to change dressings, and been referred to vascular team at hospital. She has kidney disease, tho the test the other day said their function was better than they had been in a long time, which is good. She also has diabetes type 2, no insulin, just taking reading 2x a day. She seems to be coming on OK, tho bouts of depressive mood swings, which she is getting counciling for starting next week. So she seems to be getting all help needed so far. I just wanted to ask about my dad, as he is caring for her, with my support, but tho he won't admid it I think he is struggling to adjust to changes at home/running his business. What support can he get? They are both in their 70 s. I think he was hoping she would be more back to her old self, but taking longer than he expected I think, possible due to mental size and this leg not healing as well. Even if it's someone to talk to or give him ideas on how to cope better. Any advise please greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[Chappychap]

The advice normally given to bypass patients is that it's commonly the case to return to work after eight weeks for office based jobs, and after twelve weeks for more physical jobs.

This often leads people to conclude that they'll be fully recovered (ie completely back to their old self) after no more than twelve weeks.

In reality a full recovery can actually take twelve months rather than twelve weeks. For muscles and tendons to completely heal, for scarring to settle down, and for confidence to be rebuilt.

[Nanny72]

I had my heart surgery at 72 last year and my 78 year old husband had his work cut out with me.

He kept turning help down and insisting he could manage which put more stress on me because I worried about him.

I hope the counselling helps your mum, I went once but it wasn't for me.

Your dad will need support but will probably try to manage it all.

We found no support for partners at all, not even when he had to have complicated hand surgery eight weeks after my heart surgery.

Your mums mood swings will get better. I had a short course (six months) of antidepressants but once I was able to resume normal life things got better.

I have a dog and had to rely on friends to walk him but went with them.

Your dad being of the older generation will feel, like my husband, that he should be able to cope.

He has had the stress of his wife having major surgery and men always have to keep a stiff upper lip.

Sometime afterwards my husband said all he wanted was someone to give him a hug and tell him it would be alright.

Support your parents and give them love.

Doing little things like a bit of shopping, vacuuming or washing up sometimes.

My daughter and eldest grandchildren were brilliant but they also had busy lives.

Don't forget you need time too.

I looked after my mum after her heart surgery and I was in my fifties then, at the same time my granddaughter was having heart surgery remember you can't do it all.

Is your mum going to cardiac rehab? A lot of partners go along to that too.

Love to you all.