Teenager anxiety about a very sick parent

[Mowzer1]

My husband is in the end stage of heart failure. He has had five recent hospital admissions and he is now very weak. Equipment and carers are coming in to our home to help. I have two teenage sons and they are struggling with the whole situation. They are frightened Dad won't come back from this. They don't want to talk to me but I know they are really anxious and are turning it inwards. i will talk to the school pastoral team when term starts but are there any suggestions about who can help them.

[skid112 Heart Star]

Hi there, really sorry to hear this, you could try the bhf helpline, or maybe the hospital he had been attending have access to some counselling

[Zena166]

Hi Mowzer. Sorry to hear about your husband. Also about the anxiety of your sons. What about young minds? It’s a charity for young people link here

youngminds.org.uk/what-we-do/

Also here is a link to mind resources for young people

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

You may want to check them out to see what is best for their needs. Also maybe speak to your GP who will be able to offer support as well.

I hope these help. Also don’t forget you need support as well.

I wish you and your family all the best. Sending love and hugs best wishes Zena x

[Mowzer1 in reply to Zena166]

Thank you Zena.Helfpful advice.

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

Teenagers and younger children are often stronger than we think. What they do need is for things to be explained fully to them with a degree of care. Could your GP do this or would he be too blunt? Often it is fear of the unknown that is more scary than the facts. Friends had a similar situation to this over a decade ago. Their teenagers got really involved in the care (not personal) as things progressed. Good luck.

[Mowzer1 in reply to MichaelJH]

Thank you.

[scottish1]

It is hard on the kids, I know mine get very anxious when any of us are ill. I can only suggest being as honest as possible with them without freaking them out. Maybe get the heart failure nurse to chat with them and let them know what best to do to help. They may be scared of saying or doing the wrong things too. It is so hard when you cant tell them everything will be fine. You may be able to get some social work help for your sons too to give some emotional support and respite away from the situation. Don't be scared to ask for help.

[Mowzer1 in reply to scottish1]

Thank you.

[Ashleigh_BHF]

Hi Mowzer1

It would probably be really beneficial to them to chat to someone qualified in supporting young adults through situations like yours. A good tip from scottish1 would be to ask your husbands heart failure nurse if they refer any family members to a specific counsellor? Or if you wanted to talk to a cardiac nurse, call us on 0300 330 3311 and we can help you find a counsellor who may be able to help support your family.

It must be such a hard time for you all. Counselling may give them an opportunity to talk about their fears away from you and your husband, as they may not want to burden with their worries. We're always here to listen if you ever want to give us a call.

Ashleigh

[Mowzer1 in reply to Ashleigh_BHF]

I will talk to our cardiac nurse. She has been very helpful over the last few months and I think she may really help.