End stage heart failure and stage 4 kidney failure

[Frisbee]

Hi I am (along with my family) caring for my mum who has had heart failure for over 10 years now following first heart attack. We know she is now in final stages, has good days and bad. Her depression is proving the hardest thing to deal with, her eyesight is also failing so we are limited to what she can do. She has been mainly housebound since February I guess I am looking for any support from others in similar situations. X

[Karenpr]

Sending hugs. Not really a lot more I can say. I nursed/sat with my parents in their final months and days and know what a struggle it is. Your feelings are all over the place, sorrow and anger. Make sure you have time for yourself as this enables you to have the strength to cope. Both my parents were housebound for months and it is the depression and feeling they have lost their independence and dignity that can cause them to lash out. Being deaf myself I can tell you it is a constant struggle to hear and understand what people are saying, it takes it out of you, to the extent that you give up trying to hear. Just be there, offer comfort and support when you can. Get out photos from the past and happier times and look through them. Have a tea party.

[Frisbee in reply to Karenpr]

Thank you so much for your support. I have been feeling overwhelmed with everything medical so any nice things we could do have been overshadowed. Am going to have an afternoon tea party for her this week am sure it will lift her spirits. X

[Karenpr in reply to Frisbee]

It is the little things, tea parties and photographs that lift everyone’s spirits. Her eye sight might be what is frustrating her, hang in there.

[Karenpr in reply to Frisbee]

Just had a thought if her hearing is okay what about audio books that you could listen to together

[Frisbee in reply to Karenpr]

Hi, have tried audio books but unfortunately she’s struggling to keep up with the stories, her brain is starting to become affected by bad circulation, and it makes her more frustrated. She always loved foreign languages so have a few podcasts that we listen to, but again it’s becoming harder for her to follow. I’m now thinking I might download books that’s she’s already read... might be an idea?

[Karenpr in reply to Frisbee]

Work on the basis she has gone back to toddler stage, so attention span quiet short. Audio books, music (love of music never goes in with dementia in fact music helps with dementia and may therefore help with mum). Swap it round to fill the silence, but let her rest as well.

[Karenpr in reply to Frisbee]

Yep good idea something she knows, or short stories, nothing too complicated and long