My partner has been told he will need to have AVR within (we think) the next 6 months. I have looked online and not found much information for partners/carers on how to care for their partner during and after the operation. We live about 100 miles away from the hospital where the op will take place and have school-age children to juggle too. How do people tend to manage with hospital stays etc in this situation? I work full time and although I think my employer will be reasonable about taking time off to care for him I have no idea what to say to them about how much time I will need. I'd also be really grateful for any tips on how to make him comfortable at home after the op. Just any advice really on what helps - and what doesn't! Sorry for the essay. I'm just trying to get my head around it all at the moment. Thanks in advance!
Written by
Nerissa1
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Hi, I’ve had two AVRs, the most recent one was last November. Your partner will probably be in hospital for 5-7 days. From my experience I went in the day before my op, spent a day in ICU and then moved to the ward. They had me out of bed the day after surgery and then the physio had me walking about. They like to get you up and moving as quickly as possible.
One important thing is to make sure he takes the painkillers and to ask for more if he needs them, as if he’s in pain he won’t want to move. Have a rolled up towel to hand, if you cough or sneeze without clutching it to your chest it hurts like hell!!! To start with my tastebuds were affected and everything was tasteless and memory and concentration was poor, but that’s quite normal after having general anaesthetic.
The hospital will want him to have someone with him for the first week he gets home. My husband took a week off after both ops, but then went back to work. The BHF booklets are very good at explaining what will happen and the do’s and don’ts after surgery. The hardest thing when you get home is getting comfortable to sleep. The first time I used a rolled up duvet to prop up the top half of my body, like a hospital bed, but last time I got a bolster pillow, a triangular one is just as good. I took naps during the day as needed.
Start walking, but don’t overdo it - remember you’ve got to get back home. The first week my husband went with me and we started just going to the end of the close and back and gradually increased the distance. He should get invited to rehab classes and apparently they are very good, but I didn’t get invited so coped on my own.
I was driving after 6 weeks and back at work after 12 weeks.
Hope this helps and I’m sure there will be others along with their experience and advice. If you need any more help, just ask.
Yes, constantly nodding off the first couple of weeks. I think it was a mixture of not getting much sleep in hospital (they wake you up to do the obs!!!!) and then struggling to get comfy in bed to start with once home. I found nice I could sleep on my side I was more comfy hugging something to my chest as it stopped the top shoulder scrunching my chest - I actually use a teddy bear but appreciate your partner may not want to do that 🤪 a pillow or rolled up towel works just as well.
Not much to add - I am eight weeks post quadruple. He will be very tired the first week home. Although it is partially the surgery and (usually) additional medication you just cannot get a decent night's sleep in hospital. It seemed every time I dropped off I was woken for observations. Despite identity bracelets on each wrist procedures decree that you have to be asked your name and date of birth. I have to admit one night I said "James Bond"! On the first night out I slept eleven hours straight through!
To support me in bed I had an adjustable backrest ( amazon.co.uk/NRS-Healthcare... that I gradually dropped back over six weeks. If you have a low level bathroom suite a raised toilet seat may be helpful.
I have recently had a valve replacement. It was done in Bristol and I live in Wales so distance was a problem. My husband stayed up in an hotel for the 8 nights I was in hospital. We have no young children so it worked for us. He had the week I was in hospital and 2 weeks after off work to look after me as there was no one else who could pop in.
Tell him to practice getting up from bed and sitting positions using no arms just his legs.
Sort how he is going to sleep when home and try pillows now not wait until he is home.
Also if your toilet is downstairs think about toilet needs in the night.
Loose comfortable clothing is better than tight tops and Jeans.
Good luck and tell your husband it is not as bad as we think and a positive mind helps but to be realistic with recovery.
I did a lot of practice getting out of chairs with my arms crossed, and other exercises, to build up my core strength. The problem I found was that initially (four/five days) I was very weak and that the armchair by the bed has a seat height too low for someone 6'+!
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