Looking for some advice please. My younger brother (56) is going in for a bypass on 25th of May. Following discharge he will be coming to stay with me until he has recovered enough to drive/return to work etc.
I live 120 miles from him so he will be brought by car by his daughter.
Do you guys who have been through this know if that’s ok?
My brother is normally very fit and healthy. Not overweight at all, never smoked, played football 1-2 times a week until a couple of years ago and still plays golf up to 4 times week.
I’m not sure what to expect when he’s here with me. Will he need nurses to come to him?
Resting well, eating healthily and being in an atmosphere conducive to rest and recovery are the obvious ones but I’m wondering about the more practical issues that I may need to be aware of.
This has all happened quite quickly, following a pain in his shoulder which didn’t go away.
Thank you in advance.
Best regards
Lorraine
Written by
Godfrey1
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Hi Godfrey, firstly a towel or padding for the drive, the seatbelt will go directly over the wound. He will also need this to help when he coughs and sneezes as trust me that bloody hurts
He shouldn't need nurses, he will probably suffer insomnia and have difficulty in sleeping for long periods, it's uncomfortable to lie down and will need propping up somewhat in bed. Lots of naps initially though encourage him to get up and walk around, that helps blood flow to both heart and stimulates vessel growth in the leg that the artery has been removed from. Get him also doing his deep breathing, the lungs are deflated as part of the procedure, the more he breathes and the deeper he breathes the better.
I found showering tiring, awkward for you maybe but the arm lifting to wash your own hair is very difficult at first.
Keeping the wound clean and freshly dressed is important too, no soap on it just water, he should come armed with booklets, leaflets and advice.
I don't know what your relationship is like but encourage him to talk, it's a major op and sounds like a huge surprise, it's very easy to become insular and depression follows in a lot of people.
Walking, outdoors set some targets, 250 metres first week, build it up, fresh air exercise, as long as it's not too hot, is really good for the body and mind. After six weeks he will or should be invited to rehab, brilliant place , will give him confidence and introduce him again to his body and how it can and will cope.
Pain, take the damn pain medication, he needs rest and you don't get that when you hurt.
Others will be along with more tips,
If in doubt go to a&e that is written in stone, they are the experts. Good luck
Thanks Mark, that’s great advice. Getting him to talk shouldn’t be a problem, I can’t shut him up usually😀
I am very close to him and really want to do whatever it takes to make him well again. He has a partner but she has to work as it’s her business whereas I can rearrange my working hours to make sure he’s not home alone. Hence his relocation for recovery.
I’m happy to clean his wound and as I know my brother won’t let me help him in the shower I’m sure my husband will do that if needed.
Great information, it helps me start to get my head around what is coming. I’m very grateful.
Regarding sleeping he may find a bolster pillow or a v-shaped pillow would help in bed, helps you get in a comfortable position to sleep, even a rolled up duvet would help, I used that after my first heart op.
I can reiterate Mark’s comment about the painkillers. This is no time for heroics. Definitely take them at bedtime and when he gets up in the morning and also keep them to hand in the night. From my experience if he’s in pain he won’t want to move and he won’t sleep very well. After a couple of weeks at home I was able to reduce the number of painkillers I took during the day but still took the ones at bedtime and in the morning.
He mustn’t lift anything heavy, including a kettle, saucepans tc for the first few weeks. To start with he will need to get up from sitting using his legs not his arms, he won’t need reminding of that, it hurts!
He needs to do things for himself but not overdoing things, it’s very easy to think you can do more than you can and then suffer for it. Like Mark said, walking is good for him but he needs to build it up gradually, especially if there is a leg wound. The first few times it is a good idea for someone to go with him.
Hope his op and recovery goes well, it sounds like he’ll be in good hands
Thanks Wendy, again really useful advice. I will invest in a V shaped pillow for him. He went through denial at first and was quite reckless. That has passed now and he’s being a bit more sensible with his activities. I know he will bounce back quickly but I also appreciate the seriousness of the operation and really want to be as informed as I can be to assist him.
Personally I’m a great believer in fresh air and exercise so some gentle strolls as and when he’s up to it will be a regular feature in the day.
Fortunately he’s an avid reader and film buff so it shouldn’t be too difficult to keep him occupied when he’s up to it.
The tips for keeping painkillers topped up are also welcomed. Deciding he doesn’t need them is just the sort of thing he would do, I will be vigilant 😀
I really appreciate you guys taking the time to help me with this. Thank you.
Glad it helps. He might struggle with reading to start with as the anaesthetic has several temporary side effects, including memory problems (not drastic ones), loss of concentration - I could read a couple of pages and then forget what I’d just read, or watch a film and not be able to follow it, also his tastebuds will probably be affected for a while, initially everything was tasteless, although it’s okay now I still can’t eat what used to be my favourite cookies ☹️.
You’ll know if he’s not taking his painkillers in the early days cos it will hurt like hell to move!
Yes I will take the best care of him for sure but once he’s well again I will be making up for lost time. I’m sure we will return to our usual relationship when we don’t always see eye to eye 😜
I think you will be pleasantly surprised by his recovery. I was fiercely independent after as it wasn't going to beat me. I even took the bus back to hospital two days after being discharged to get my warfarin levels checked. He won't be able to lift anything heavy. A half filled kettle will take two hands. Showers and toilets he should be ok with. ( Might be worth leaving the bathroom door unlocked) and the big one for me was sleep. I found "v" shape pillows a must for sleeping. Good luck with his recovery
Thanks Phil, bathroom unlocked is another good idea. I expect to be making the tea for the duration, sure there are certain aspects he will milk😂
I’m not sure yet of what I will need to do regarding blood tests etc. Fortunately I think we have the best GP surgery in England so I’m sure they will happily assist. We’re very lucky in that respect.
Really appreciate your reply, I’m starting to get a picture of what’s in store.
I will ask him to join this forum as I’m sure he has lots of questions for you lovely people who have got the tea shirt already!
V shaped pillow is on my list of things to get, along with a box of surgical gloves 😜
When he is coming out of hospital his driver could put a pillow or thick cushion between him and the seat belt. She should drive as gently as possible too. It took me months just to get over the anaesthetic. 6 months after the surgery we flew to Spain on holiday and a week later to USA, with my GP's permission.
I found that doing anything for the first time after the surgery was tiring, I had to get used to doing things all over again. Even visiting people or being visited. Going shopping, housework - exhausting until I got used to doing them again. I slept a lot that first 6 months.
I had a multiple bypass in February, fantastic result. Everything that has been mentioned so far rings true with me. Someone said about keeping on top of the pain relief, I can relate to this, my fault. Probably the main thing from me that I haven't seen mentioned is to take Sena. He doesn't want "toilet" problems when in recovery, believe me!!
Hi Godrey1, everything that has been said here is great, I am 8 weeks post bypass and was doing cooking; making tea and small things about two weeks after. I had to visit my GP to get my BP checked early on so I don't know how that will work for you with him being so far from home, maybe temp register with your GP. My drain wounds were a little tricky to heal and I had to visit the surgery nurse a few times over a month period to get dressing changes. If he was active before, as I was, he will be keen to get out and about. I was walking for half an hour on the flat about two days after coming out of hospital, after six weeks I was walking nearly 3 miles a day. I agree the sleeping bit was uncomfortable, I slept on my back for a while and then found one side better than the other. I guess it depends on how long he will be with you. I have just started cardio rehab for six weeks that includes exercise and education. He may have to wait until he gets home for this. The DVLA states four weeks for driving after bypass. I waited 6 weeks. Where they took the grafts from, my chest, was a bit sore with the steering but I was pleased to get out and about, with my partner riding shotgun. I now drive on my own no problem. Good luck and I am sure with a caring and supportive sister he will be up and about in no time. Take care x
I just wanted to say that the responses to you from the others on this forum are absolutely fantastic ! What it boils down to is positivity , a little bit of give and take and the old adage of time( how ever long) being a great healer.
The only tiniest thing I'd mention is before that long journey home,to take some pain killers about 1/2 hour before he leaves ( although I'm sure your sister will avoid road bumps,not of them are visible plus he might be able to have a little doze.)
I would suggest stopping for a leg stretch/coffee stop etc would be an idea too- especially if it's hot. Dehydration is bad at the best of times,but post cardiac surgery it makes people feel terrible!,so goes without saying to have drinks on board too.
You /he are more than welcome to ring our heart helpline on 0300-330-3311 either before or after. There is someone to talk to Monday- Friday from 9-5.
It is more than 4 years since I had my bypass so things may have changed and my comments might be out-of-date, but I am not going to let that stop me!
One thing I definitely needed help with was the dreaded elasticated stockings. Even with the plastic bag over the foot trick there was no way I could have put on the stockings without help. If stockings are still used it will be your main job after his morning shower to help put them on.
Also, in hindsight, I might have been more comfortable not going to bed for the first few nights. I struggled to get into and out of bed and find a comfortable position to allow a worthwhile sleep. Having to keep getting up because of the 'water tablets' didn't help either. Speaking to chaps at the rehab sessions, a few said they had managed to get more sleep by sitting in a comfortable armchair instead of getting into bed.
My wife and I walked every day but I didn't set targets. I let my body tell me when it was sensible to turn round and go home. Rehab was excellent and I then found a private one to continue going to. Four years later I am still going to it!
Be aware that everyone is different and it is important to not try to keep up with the progress of others who have had the op. I am back to the same golf handicap I had before the op - but that is mainly because I was rubbish before, and still rubbish new!
Thanks everyone, your help on this is invaluable. I think even though I know he will be quite poorly, it’s better for me to half expect it before the event rather than be shocked at how he is recovering.
I think the advice re meds is crucial because not taking them is just what he would do. I will be vigilant !
Thanks for the phone number Phillipa, I may need that in the coming weeks.
I’m very grateful to you all for your advice. Seems like only nice people have a bypass😀
Lorraine
Ps d4dave, my brother is a golf fanatic so hopefully his desire for ‘a knock’ will spure him on. 😀
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