Worried for my dad : Hello I am writing... - British Heart Fou...

British Heart Foundation

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Worried for my dad

Jackiemum profile image
15 Replies

Hello I am writing about my dad.He had a heart attack in November and is very lucky to still be here with us. We are very worried about him as he is not leaving the house anymore not visiting family and seems really down and depressed, me and one of my sister's do not live local so we don't get to see him as often as we would like to but my other 2 sisters do go round and make plans with him but then he makes excuses not to go round or for them to go and visit.

We are just really worried and wondering if if there are any groups or people in the area my dad can get in contact with he lives in wigan

Thank you

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Jackiemum profile image
Jackiemum
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15 Replies
skid112 profile image
skid112Heart Star

hi there,

its a very common reaction unfortunately, can you talk to him about his feelings? Its difficult enough as I know, if he can recognise what he is going through thats a good start, your GP may be able to offer some help as well.

Talking about what he went through with people who have experienced the same has been very cathartic for me, this forum is a great place for that, there are facebook groups as well which may be of assistance, will he join here or have access to FB?

teh BHF have a few groups, here bhf.org.uk/heart-health/how...

also try calling their helpline 0300 330 3311

Good luck, I hope he feels better soon

Mark

Jackiemum profile image
Jackiemum in reply to skid112

Thank you any help we can get him is greatly appreciated x

Stent2024 profile image
Stent2024 in reply to Jackiemum

This is a great forum .he sounds as if he’s still in a bit of shock for it all . Hope he picks up . Sending love

Auctioneerjim profile image
Auctioneerjim

Hi I had a heart attack in December and I can tell you that anxiety and depression are common ! It’s very hard to come to terms with because for the first weeks afterward you are convinced you’re going to die no matter what you’re Told ! He needs his family more now than ever and you’re doing the right thing. Does he attend a cardio rehab class ? Check with your local hospital he should have been offered one. Not only will that help with recovery but you meet people in exactly the same situation as you and realise there is life after it ! Good luck

Jackiemum profile image
Jackiemum in reply to Auctioneerjim

That's brilliant thank you I will ring the hospital now and find out he is a very funny bugger and he won't want a fuss but we are really do concerned about him x

Jackiemum profile image
Jackiemum in reply to Auctioneerjim

And I hope you are recovering ok and keeping well

Auctioneerjim profile image
Auctioneerjim in reply to Jackiemum

Thanks I’m doing ok although I still get down in the dumps ! But I’ve met people who had far worse than me and still going strong 2 years later ! Go with him to the Rehab class !

Neekey profile image
Neekey in reply to Auctioneerjim

Well put, I was the same after my November event, the cardiac Nurse who visited me and the cardiac rehab plus my wife were my saviors. You cannot do it alone as its a life change event.

Stent2024 profile image
Stent2024 in reply to Auctioneerjim

I didn’t have HA but had stent fitted last month and I’m still worried the stent is going to block and I’m gonna have HA . I think only people who have experienced cardiac issues will understand the worry if it all . I was assessed by cardiac rehab last week and start classes next month , and that helped . I wish you well on your journey

MitPur profile image
MitPur

It must be tough seeing dad feeling low. I was and still am going through how you are feeling. Cardiac rehab was excellent for my dad, as it helped him come out of the shock of having a triple bypass...followed by a heart failure few months later. It made him feel confident and that he can get stronger. I also give him something to research on that makes him feel useful and provides distraction...e.g short list some houses for me ( though I cant afford one..😊 ). He is also feeling alot happier for days after going to comedy shows.

mewg profile image
mewg

cardiac rehab team are a godsend since my surgery ive had alot of days like ur dad but talking 2 other ppl in the same position has helped me a great deal and walking helps hope he gets better soon get him help b4 he gets 2 bad which is more pressure on his heart

Jwcr profile image
Jwcr

If your local hospital do it, Cardiac Rehab is a must! I had a heart attack & bypass 8 years ago, really really shocked as thought I wasn’t at risk. I now volunteer at our local hospital cardiac rehab program & see and speak to many patients. Quite a lot feel like we do once they’ve had a heart event & it can take time to accept what’s happened. Good luck with your Dad.

Helen_BHF profile image
Helen_BHF

Hi Jackiemum , I would definitely recommend contacting the BHF helpline, as Mark has mentioned. They can give you some more support with this and point you in the right direction to groups in your area: bhf.org.uk/heart-health/how...

They're also more than happy to listen if you just need a chat to de-stress. :)

marian25 profile image
marian25

Reading other members positive experiences in Heart Matters magazine has really helped me. If your dad is not already a member he can join via the link above.

MrMusic profile image
MrMusic

I’m very sorry to hear about your dads mental state... as a 3BP patient 12 weeks post op.. I can understand. I however,have a great supportive wife which I feel is the key ! She doesn’t let me wallow in my fear and anxiety.. although at night when she’s asleep I semi regularly stay up for 2 entire days & nights every 5 nights or so... with feelings of fear of letting go to fall asleep... the best thing you can do in my opinion is to TALK & LISTEN to him very often .. treat him “normally” with extra compassion. Keep his mind busy! Yes it’s harder on you than you think.. but please for his sake make the effort.

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