Anxiety and Sex

[livstudent]

Hi there,

I'm just writing for some clarification.

I suffer with anxiety, particularly over sex/the risk of getting pregnant. To calm myself I make sure I always take my minipill at the same time every day and use condoms.

When I was having sex with my boyfriend recently, after he pulled out I noticed the condom was still on but had gone up his shaft slightly (was hanging off the end of his penis a bit). This has completely made my anxiety flare up again and I can't sleep for worrying.

Can someone please tell me I'm being irrational! I hate this feeling but all I'm doing is worrying even though I'm on the condom and the pill. I'm also worried that a condom may have broken before and that neither of us have noticed.

Thank you x

[Charalou]

I wouldn't worry. As long as you are taking the pill it should cover you. X

[markh57]

The condom often rides up as the man pulls out after sex. Provided it doesn't come off it wont be a problem.

To prevent this ask your boyfriend to use his fingers to hold the edge of the condom as he pulls out. He can stop it slipping.

I do hope this will help with your anxiety so you can relax and enjoy sex with your BF

[livstudent in reply to markh57]

Thank you so much. It hasn't ever come completely off, only ridden up slightly. He is very careful putting it on/checking it is has snapped etc. So I'm sure I'm just worrying over nothing, especially as I use the pill in addition. Nice to hear a male perspective

[laceywhiplash]

It is always a wory for us ladies if we have protected ourselves well enough, as there is a major consequence to follow if we haven’t. It does sound like your anxiety is making you fixate on it a little too much though when you are already using two kinds of contraception, and being super careful with those too.

Perhaps you may find getting an implant or a coil fitted may also help. You can also keep a check on your natural cycle so you can be aware of when you are most fertile.

You may find it useful to explore where this anxiety comes from too. When did it start? Was there something in particular? It would make your life easier if you find the root of the problem so you can put in coping strategies in place and calm you down. There can be many triggers, but it’s about what triggers set you off and then you can get on top of how to overcome it. It would be a shame to keep this with you for years to come.

Just take a deep breath and enjoy sex with your boyfriend. You are covered, so don’t let your head demons get the better of you.