Do I really want a second baby at 40/41?

[Mrs_MT]

Our story is a bit of a complex one. We need to do IVF in order to conceive. We were very lucky as we had our daughter from our first round when I was 37. But for our second, we have had 3 failed rounds so far.

Im now 40 and I wonder if I should keep trying. If we keep trying and are successful on our next round, I’ll be 41 by the time I give birth.

I worry about the following:

- risks to me and baby

- my body feeling old and how will it recover

- the mental space needed to manage a baby and a 3.5 year old

- the sleep deprivation

I guess I’d really like to hear from mothers who have had a second baby at 40/41 and your experience.

[Kaylon]

Hiya, I had my first at 39 and my second at 41. They were from the same batch when I was 38. It was hard with both because my first was a really difficult baby and absolutely awful sleeper whereas my second was easier in every way but looking after a newborn and a 2 year old wasn't easy. Maybe I would have had more energy 10 years ago but I didn't have that option. I think we all make do with what we're given. Pregnancy wise I had 2 easy pregnancies. I was a bit more tired second time round because you don't have the luxury of resting lots while looking after a toddler. But my husband helped wherever he could. I am a little heavier now than I was after my first but not by loads. I am overall a bit saggier and defo have more grey hairs but all worth it I would say. We're actually thinking of having a third but I know that would be really difficult. I'm 42 and the statistics are not great (we also need IVF). Still we may try. No more frosties so have to start fresh. I would say go for it. You'll regret it if you don't. I don't think there's too much of a difference from 37 to 41 although the hospitals treat you a bit differently! Good luck x