Feel frustrated- not feeling listened to by gynae. Shoulder tip pain. How do I get medics to listen?

[Jess1981]

I had a blood test arranged as GP wasn't happy happy epu weren't following up this miscarriage.

I mentioned to the nurse I had been having shoulder tip for over a week- with that she inserted a cannula and did want me to leave to leave until the blood tests were done and I'd seen drs.'

The gynae weren't happy I was sat in a bay- I heard them say my mane and shout "where is she " in a angry tone- at that point the nurse shut the door as she noticed my ears had overheard it.

Anyway she didn't seem interested in my shoulder pain completely dismissed my concerns of not passing the pregnancy tissue. I had my cervix closed at the scan and have not bled like they had expected me to. I also relayed how much I cramped and bled with my chemical pregnancies and how I hadn't done with this loss.

She wanted me out the bay- but I stood my ground and said I wanted my blood results before I leave as the nurses wanted there's no bed they would've wasted a bed on me . They were so lovely.

One of the leading nurses saw the gynae not getting it together and leaving me for 4 hours- she seemed more concerned by my shoulder pain than the gynae. The gynae told me she was off to post natal ward- cheers after my 4th pregnancy loss 🥲

My levels is now 10- fold there is only a little bit of pregnancy content left- am I being stupid t try I think that isn't good? I still haven't bled properly.

I feel they didn't listen couldn't be bothered.

So bad the nurse asked if I would mind if she did my discharge- I said I had no issue and actually she was far more on the ball than these 20 something year old young girls who have much to learn!

Will follow up with my Gp unless it gets so bad I have to 999.

[Cinderella5]

Hey Jess, Im so sorry that you havent felt more listened to or reassured. I cant comment on the shoulder tip pain but perhaps regarding not bleeding I can give a tiny piece of reassurance. It's a bit different but when I had our spontaneous loss I didnt bleed much at all. I had a bit of bleeding but not even as much as a period although I did pass a piece of tissue. I had a scan 2 days later as we were due our 1st scan and they had me in anyway. I already knew the pregnancy was gone as I felt different, I just knew. There was nothing on scan not surprisingly but they told me my lining was still thick so to expect bleeding, did my bloods and I went home. I didnt get anymore bleeding. I had my hCG rechecked which confirmed it was on the way down and again my last blood was around 10 at which point they told me to do a pregnancy test to confirm negative a week later. I didnt get anymore bleeding until my next period but I did get a negative pregnancy test. If your hCG goes back to normal it does confirm the pregnancy is no longer there as there is nothing giving out hCG. I remember I stuck a post up and most people had very bad bleeding with their losses so I was in the minority however it can well be that your lining doesnt shed until the following month. Look after yourself lovely, life is being incredibly unkind to you both just now.xxx

[Jess1981 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you for taking the time to secs such a lovely reassuring message of hope. You are always so supportive of others you will be a fantastic mum 🥰 I've compared this loss to my chemical pregnancies which I cramped and bled heavily this one I haven't so it is good to know my body could expel any left over in my next period ☝🏻 Obviously with Amelia very different as I had to be induced as my body hasn't recognised she had died her due date today I've planted gerbaras in pots as I had a dream of hundreds of gerbaras- she had them at her funeral her middle name is Daisy 🙂 definitely feel she wants to grow them my goodness me I normally kill flowers 🤣My mum accidentally typed hyneas instead of gynaes so all all gynaes are now known as hyneas! It's a fetching name 🤣my ex fertility specialist was the only one that listened and cared. I just hope this miscarriage specialist is better than the experience I've had so far with hyneas! I put a complaint against EPU as a consultant asked me in angry way why I was crying?! I've lost 4th pregnancy and I should be grateful for my 2 children after a 7 year struggle and 3 surgeries to have Francesca there is no one more thankful than me. But that still doesn't mean it doesn't hurt I've lost another 2 babies since Amelia. I socked it to her and said if consultants aren't able to offer patients support you should allow partners in that can support them. I didn't mince my words think my filter has gone since I lost my Amelia I don't care what people think! She did apologise went onto to say how awful it was to lose Amelia I said. Don't think you do know how awful.. if it stops another women having that experience it's worth it I couldn't be bothered to hear back I said I didn't have the time or inclination.! I think women deserve much better health care. Rant over sorry.

[Cinderella5 in reply to Jess1981]

Thank you for your kind words Jess! I'm actually quite glad that you have put in a complaint regarding partners not being able too attend appointments. I think its disgraceful the things that some ladies have had to go through on their own and the fact that someone asked you why you were crying is frankly disgusting!! No pregnancy loss is easy, it's the hardest time but I dont think in anyway that you arent grateful for your son and daughter that are here.I think the gerberas that you have planted are a lovely tribute to Amelia Daisy!💖 They are one of my favourite flowers too....great choice for your beautiful little girl. I'm glad you've had a rant, it is very warranted!! Look after yourselves.xxx