One of the mums I chat to at nursery has just told me she’s pregnant. Why do these announcements still bloody hurt?!
Just feel down in the dumps about it all now (current news and uncertainty also doesn’t help). We are currently trying naturally (only since August) and obviously can’t even consider going back to the clinic yet with everything that’s going on.
I feel like I’m being ungrateful and selfish to feel like this as we have our beautiful Florence but I so desperately want her to be a big sister and I don’t feel our family is complete yet.
Sorry for moaning but you all understand what it’s like. Just hate that fertility controls your life and really didn’t think I would keep feeling like this 😢 xx
Ahhh I totally understand what you mean. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to be sat here with my four week old twins (3rd full round of IVF) but I sat in a group of girls from my antenatal classes last week where they were talking about when they were going to have their second. As if it’s that easy to just decide when!
Then the stories started of how quickly they got pregnant with this one or that it was a surprise and I could feel those old all too familiar feelings bubbling up again.
Infertility for a lot of us was/is a long enduring agony that will leave scars so Im not sure we’ll ever escape those initial painful pangs in situations like that.
However, I am genuinely proud of all I overcame to get here and how much these two miracles were wanted and are loved, so I always openly tell my story and maybe get a little understanding from others who didn’t know that pain existed.
I really hope you get another miracle to complete your family so you can begin to heal those scars. I can imagine how hard it must be to find yourself back with those familiar feelings of desperation while trying for your second.
Thank you. It’s nice to talk to people who understand. I’m so so grateful for my daughter and love her to bits. I just would love her to have a sibling. I think also with this virus then there is no way we can even contact the clinic but it’s the not knowing when we can either. Very frustrating xx
Of course you are thankful for your Florence but it doesn't mean you can't grieve for what you lost out on and it hurts seeing growing families when you have been through infertility.
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Thank you. It’s good to talk to people who understand 💕 x
Pregnancy announcements are really tough. Just because you have your daughter doesn’t mean it’s less painful. When you want a baby it’s devastating when it’s not happening. I had secondary infertility- I have a grown up son but was struggling to have a child with my hubby it made it all the worse as he had no children. I also felt guilt for having a child already. I also would like to have another baby so would hubby which sounds terrible & greedy but I’d love my daughter to have a sibling close in age ( my sons 21!) We said we will try again & if it happens wonderful but if not we have to be thankful for Francesca as she’s a bit of a miracle with my endo or age unlikely to happen. I hope it happens soon for you xxx
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Thank you. Think it’s the unknown whether we can have another and knowing we aren’t finished but may not have a choice in this matter. I just don’t feel at peace. We don’t have very many family members so would hate if she’s got no one when she grows up. I didn’t think I would get so hung up on it but every pregnancy announcement makes me want it more.
Hope we get our wish 💕 xx
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That’s the worst part of infertility the uncertainty of it all. And the waiting! Of course it hurts it resonates so deeply in you. You also want it for your little girl. I totally get it. I feel bad for our daughter that she will be a only child friends & family are like she’ll be fine have her own friends etc but it’s not the same is it. I don’t how you’d feel maybe have a break from trying if it’s getting too much. I had “forced “ breaks with trying due to surgeries & although it was difficult the last thing I felt like it did me good I didn’t see how much it was getting me down. Do whatever feels right for you xxx
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Yeah I was thinking of a break but I don’t know if that’s easy to do if it’s not “forced”. It will probably be even harder soon as there will probably be a baby boom if we have to isolate xx
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Point is having a baby in itself after infertility is just like putting a plaster on a deep wound that needs stitches!
Of course you are thankful for what you do have but it doesn't mean you can't be sad for the things you lost out on.
I only wrote a similar post last week, as you know. I feel much the same way as you do except the couple I wrote about I didn’t think they’d ever conceive because of their ages and lifestyle but they did, and naturally! I think we’ll always find it unfair especially when we feel like we would have loved a sibling for our little miracle babies xx
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I'm back! Sensitive post warning pregnant again. 
He’s here💙 *sensitive*
Inconclusive appointment at the EPU