Sorry this is so long I'm not good at this kind of thing.
I'm a British autistic person married to an Indonesian doctor and have been for 8 years but unfortunately her degrees are not recognised in my native country we have been living in separate countries with me loving and caring for my elderly father and her living in our apartment and working as the head of department.
So we've known all along the only way we can be together is if I move to her country and this is where the problem arrises.
The first time I tried moving to her country I got so stressed out by traveling to the airport dealing with the airport I passed out and had a massive seizure which left me unconscious for around 4 hours.
Yesterday I had booked flights to move on with her again but this time I got so stressed out I had a mild stroke before even leaving home (didn't feel mild thought I was dieing).
Well its very clear I'm struggling with the anxiety and fear of change autism is causing which is what's stressing me out to the point I end up in hospital every time I try to do this move something I don't really understand myself why my autism only flares whem I try to do a permanent moveas I have visited her and our apartment several times its just permanently moving there that triggers these dangerous medical events.
The problem is this she is threatening to end our marriage despite me trying to explain my autism diagnosis and her seeing my mobility problems, neurological issues, vision problems and IBS as what's causing me such difficulties with moving. she only accepts the IBS diagnosis but she basically just says all others are me making whiney excuses I'm using for not wanting to live with her and that autism is just a labal and another excuse she even wanted proof I was admitted to hospital for the stroke.
She's now calling me whiney, immature coward who's not brave enough to make the move and that I don't want to go to Indonesia to be with her constantly saying she can't understand why I can't just get on the plane and move in with her as she would have no problem and that if I don't book tickets move over she's ending the marriage.
Yes its been 8 years and we've only been able to visit each other and we've not been able to live together and start a family but its not like I'm doing it on purpose I can't control how stressed I get and how that stress makes me so unwell.
I just don't know what to do, I want to save the marriage but its clear she doesn't understand my struggles with myself meaning the marriage seams doomed.
