14 years old aspie

[Asaad1]

Hi,

I'm new here and trying to get help and advice reg my 14 year old daughter who has been behaving in a very negative and aggressive manner particularly for the last year. She gets meltdown that goes physically violent and last for over an hour and exhaust the whole family. She would cry at night in her bed but refuses our attempts to comfort her. Someone has told me that she might have an asperger and after reading about the symptoms I became confident that she does have asperger. Unfortunately, I only recently reached that conclusion andand I'm worried that she'll need a lot of support as she's already 14. She's muted and refuses to speak to me and my wife for over 2 months now. We tried to get her to open and tell us what went wrong but to no avail. She tries sometimes to annoy us and do something against our house role. She refused to see a psychologist which makes things worse. We're now doing what we can to keep her away from meltdowns.

[caringmum11]

My son was exactly the same although he did talk to us albeit in an aggressive manner. It is important that you don’t take her refusal to speak to a professional as final. Go and speak to one yourselves and explain everything that is happening. My son was not diagnosed till age 28 by which time a lack of diagnosis arguably meant he had developed a raft of mental health issues. It may be possible to get someone to come to your house to see her, but whichever way you do it - get her seen! We all want the best For our children and in doing this you are doing her a kindness. I would like to say she will grow out of it - but she probably won’t, so please put the wheels In motion and start The process of getting professionals involved.

[emmasue]

autism.org.uk/get-involved/...

I would try calling the National Autistic Society helpline. They may be able to offer advice on how to get help for your daughter sooner rather than later. Good luck and keep fighting. There is so little support, we parents have to do so much to make life better for our children.

My daughter has Autism Spectrum Disorder. She is 9 and only recently diagnosed. She does have meltdowns, lashes out. She broke my bed once, she broke her Kindle Fire once, all in a rage. Over the summer, she even tried to strangle herself with a belt. It is heart breaking. We still get so little support, but at least we have a diagnosis now (she sees a paediatrician and it was the paediatrician who referred her for assessment as the school didn't think there was anything wrong). As well as the meltdowns, when my daughter is upset, she stops talking. She tries to mime what she wants to say or she sometimes writes it down. It can be frustrating, especially since her spelling is poor (she's two years behind at school). It is hard, but we do our best for her. Her brother has Aspergers and we have our struggles with him as well. I love my kids though and want them to be happy. It's a hard job, but I have to do my best. I hope you find a way to support your daughter.

[emmasue in reply to emmasue]

thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk/

Oh, and you might find some help from this site. One of the mums who works for Alis has a daughter who was diagnosed around the age of 13. She was in a mental health unit at the time. There are a lot of people who go through what you go through. Good luck. x

[SaintPeter999]

Try to find a doctor who has experience prescribing THC/THCa and CBD. I was skeptical at first but the results we have had went well beyond anything I had even hoped for. My daughter's behavior was so violent and self harming (she is only 9 and small for her age) that her ABA providers quit on her after having worked with her for 6 years.

[Asaad1]

Thank you all very much. Your advice and support provided me with the strength to continue my daily battle.

[kevinmhickson]

Hi, the behaviour you describe can be due to a variety of possible conditions, situations and circumstances. Any assessment worth it's salt will be asking questions about early developmental history and details about the circumstances that could have possibly triggered the behaviour change one year ago.

[Asaad1 in reply to kevinmhickson]

Hi, thanks for your comment. We've relocated a year ago and we understand that she wasn't happy that I (the father) had to stay a year away from the family. The issue now is how do we help her when she's refusing to talk to us and at the sametime she tries to annoy us with little silly stuff. She's trying to set her own rules and completely ignores our rules. I tried writing to her telling her how much I miss our time together and promised a nice surprise on her birthday..but nothing seem to work!

[kevinmhickson]

It may be worth considering contacting your local CAMHS team via your family GP. Although CAMHS will have a waiting list, they would be able to offer an assessment and further psychological intervention and support.

[Asaad1 in reply to kevinmhickson]

Thank you for the advice. I've actually did contact CAMHS through our GP and have been waiting for 7 weeks. I'll go back to the GP next week to ask her to contact them again. I also tried calling the national autism hotline but no answer. Unfortunately, the waiting time is so long that people in my situation feel left alone with no support. That's why a platform like this is so important to get supported by people who understand the stress that we go through.